Early Christian Views on Husbands and Marriage
Early Christian writers taught that husbands should love their wives and wives should honor or submit to their husbands. Ignatius, Clement of Alexandria, and the Apostolic Constitutions all repeat this pattern. They also treated marriage as good, while stressing fidelity, self-control, and peace in the home.
90 early-church witnesses · 160 source quotations · compared with Scripture
What did early Christians believe about husbands and Marriage?
Early Christian writers taught that husbands should love their wives, and wives should honor or submit to their husbands in a godly way. Ignatius, Clement of Alexandria, and the Apostolic Constitutions all repeat this pattern, often pairing a husband’s love with a wife’s respect and steady devotion. They also treat marriage as real and honorable, not as something evil, while urging self-control, faithfulness, and peace in the home.
The strongest evidence is broad and early, though some later writers also argue from Scripture in ways that are more detailed about divorce, sexual restraint, and marital duty. Many more early Christian quotations, Bible passages, and source links are gathered below so you can study the evidence for yourself.
Key Takeaways
- Ignatius, Clement, and the Apostolic Constitutions all tell husbands to love their wives and wives to honor or submit to their husbands.
- Early Christian teaching treats marriage as good and ordered, not as something dirty or evil.
- Several writers connect marriage with faithfulness, self-control, and keeping the home in peace.
Questions Answered by the Sources
What did early Christians say husbands should do in marriage?
The sources repeatedly say husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, members, partners, or fellow servants before God. The emphasis is on care, honor, and non-bitter treatment rather than domination.
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Apostolic Constitutions, Apostolic Constitutions Direct teaching
You wives, be subject to your own husbands. Esteem them, and serve them with fear and love, as holy Sarah honored Abraham. For she would not bear to call him by his name, but called him lord when she said, "My lord is old." In the same way, you husbands, love your own wives as your own members, as partners in life and fellow helpers in the bearing of children. For He says, "Rejoice with the wife of your youth. Let her way of life be to you like a loving deer and a pleasant foal. Let her alone lead you, and be with you at all times. For if you are in every way surrounded by her friendship, you will be happy in her company." Love them, therefore, as your own members, as your very bodies. For so it is written: "The Lord has testified between you and the wife of your youth, and she is your partner, and another has not made her, and she is the remnant of your spirit." And, "Take heed to your spirit, and do not forsake the wife of your youth." Therefore, when a husband and wife come together in lawful marriage and then rise from one another, they may pray without any special observances, and they are clean without washing. But whoever corrupts and defiles another man's wife, or is defile
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Ignatius, Epistles of Ignatius Direct teaching
Husbands, love your wives; and wives, your husbands. Children, respect your parents. Parents, raise your children with the nurture and instruction of the Lord. Honor those who remain in virginity, as the priestesses of Christ; and the widows who maintain seriousness in behavior, as the altar of God. Servants, serve your masters with respectful fear. Masters, give orders to your servants with kindness. Let no one among you be idle; for idleness leads to need. I do not command these things as a person of any importance, though I am in bonds for Christ; but as a brother, I remind you of them. The Lord be with you!
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Ignatius, Epistle to the Philadelphians (Long Version) Direct teaching
Husbands, love your wives, as fellow-servants of God, as your own body, as the partners of your life, and your co-adjutors in the procreation of children.
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Ignatius, Epistles of Ignatius Direct teaching
...presbyters, and the deacons. Love one another in the Lord, as you are the images of God. Take heed, husbands, to love your wives as your own bodies. Wives also, love your husbands, as being one with them by virtue of your union. If anyone lives in chastity or self-restraint, let him not be prideful, lest he lose his reward. Do not underestimate the festivals. Do not disregard the period of forty days, as it is an imitation of the conduct of the Lord. After the week of the passion, do not neglect to fast on the fourth and sixth days, while also giving from your abundance to the poor. If anyone fasts on the Lord’s Day or on the Sabbath, except on the paschal Sabbath only, he is a murderer of Christ.
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Clement of Alexandria, The Stromata (Miscellanies) Supporting witness
Husbands, love your wives, as also Christ loved the Church.
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Clement of Alexandria, The Stromata (Miscellanies) Supporting witness
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
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Ignatius, Epistles of Ignatius Supporting witness
Take heed, ye husbands, that ye love your wives as your own members.
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Tertullian, Against Marcion Supporting witness
Ephesians 5:23 and again, in like manner: He who loves his wife, loves his own flesh, even as Christ loved the Church.
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Ignatius of Antioch, Connection to Ephesians 5:25 Supporting witness
In like manner also, exhort my brethren, in the name of Jesus Christ, that they love their wives, even as the Lord the Church.
More related quotations from this section 7 shown
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Ignatius, Epistles of Ignatius Supporting witness
Ye wives also, love your husbands, as being one with them in virtue of your union.
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Ignatius, Epistles of Ignatius Supporting witness
Ye husbands, love your wives; and ye wives, your husbands.
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Ephesians 5:25 Supporting witness
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
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1 Peter 3:7 Supporting witness
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
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Colossians 3:19 Supporting witness
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
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Ephesians 5:28 Supporting witness
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
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1 Corinthians 7:3 Supporting witness
Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
Did early Christians teach wives to submit to their husbands?
Several early Christian texts tell wives to be subject to, honor, or fear their husbands, often in explicit household instructions. These cards also connect that posture to Scripture and to ordered Christian life.
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Ignatius, Epistle to the Philadelphians (Long Version) Direct teaching
...ar people, and a holy nation,” perform all things with harmony in Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands in the fear of God; and you virgins, to Christ in purity, not regarding marriage as an abomination, but desiring that which is better, not for the reproach of wedlock, but for the sake of meditating on the law. Children, obey your parents, and have affection for them, as workers together with God for your birth into the world. Servants, be subject to your masters in God, that you may be the freed-men of Christ. Husbands, love your wives, as fellow-servants of God, as your own body, as the partners of your life, and your co-workers in the procreation of children. Virgins, have Christ alone before your eyes, and His Father in your prayers, being enlightened by the Spirit. May I take pleasure in your purity, as that of Elijah, or as of Joshua the son of Nun, as of Melchizedek, or as of Elisha, as of Jeremiah, or as of John the Baptist, as of the beloved disciple, as of Timothy, as of Titus, as of Evodius, as of Clement, who departed this life in perfect chastity. Not, however, that I blame the other blessed saints because they entered into the married state, of which I have
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Ignatius, Epistles of Ignatius Direct teaching
Let husbands love their wives, remembering that, at creation, one woman, and not many, was given to one man. Let wives honor their husbands, as their own flesh, and let them not presume to address them by their names. Let them also be chaste, considering their husbands as their only partners, to whom they have been united according to the will of God. You parents, provide a holy training to your children. You children, "honor your parents, that it may be well with you."
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Apostolic Constitutions, Apostolic Constitutions Direct teaching
How wives ought to be subject to their own husbands, and husbands ought to love their own wives.
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Apostolic Constitutions, Apostolic Constitutions Supporting witness
XXIX. You wives, be subject to your own husbands, and have them in esteem, and serve them with fear and love, as holy Sarah honoured Abraham.
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Clement of Alexandria, The Stromata (Miscellanies) Supporting witness
...ans, “Submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church; and He is the Savior of the body. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church. So men also ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man has ever yet hated his own flesh.” Ephesians 5:21-29. And in the Epistle to the Colossians it is said, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, lest they become discouraged. Servants, obey in all things those who are your masters according to the flesh. Do not serve only when watched, like people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. And whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly, as serving the Lord and not men. For you know that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance, for you serve the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will
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Apostolic Constitutions, Apostolic Constitutions Supporting witness
Let the wife be obedient to her own proper husband, because the husband is the head of the wife, First Corinthians 11:3. But Christ is the head of that husband who walks in the way of righteousness. And the head of Christ is God, even His Father. Therefore, O wife, next after the Almighty, our God and Father, the Lord of the present world and of the world to come, the Maker of everything that breathes, and of every power, and after His beloved Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom glory be to God, fear your husband, and reverence him. Please him alone. Render yourself acceptable to him in the several affairs of life, so that on your account your husband may be called blessed, according to the Wisdom of Solomon, which thus speaks: "Who can find a virtuous woman? For such a one is more precious than costly stones. The heart of her husband does safely trust in her, so that she shall have no need of spoil. For she does good to her husband all the days of her life. She buys wool and flax, and works profitable things with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships. She brings her food from far. She rises also while it is yet night, and gives meat to her household, and food to her mai
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Clement of Alexandria, The Stromata (Miscellanies) Supporting witness
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
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Ephesians 5:24 Supporting witness
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
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1 Peter 3:1 Supporting witness
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,
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Ephesians 5:22 Supporting witness
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
More related quotations from this section 3 shown
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1 Peter 3:5 Supporting witness
For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
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Ephesians 5:33 Supporting witness
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
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Ephesians 5:23 Supporting witness
For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
Did early Christians treat marriage as honorable and good?
The sources do not present marriage as shameful; they speak of lawful marriage, proper order in the home, and marriage as a real part of Christian life. At the same time, they stress moderation, self-control, and purpose in marriage.
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Clement of Alexandria, The Stromata (Miscellanies) Supporting witness
...ebt of marriage is the begetting of children. This he showed in what comes before, saying, "Let the husband render the debt to the wife, and likewise also the wife to the husband," 1 Corinthians 7:3. After this release, she is a helper in keeping the house, and in the faith that is in Christ. And still more clearly he says, "To those who are joined in marriage I command, not I, but the Lord, that a wife is not to be separated from her husband. But if she is separated, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to send away his wife. But to the rest I say, I, not the Lord," down to, "But now they are holy," 1 Corinthians 7:14. What then will those say who speak against the law and against marriage, as though it were permitted only by the law, and not also in the New Testament? What can those who shrink from sowing and generation say against these laws that have been laid down? For he also appoints as bishop one who rules his own household well, and is the husband of one wife. Therefore he says that all things are pure to the pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure. Rather, both their mind and conscience are defiled, Titus
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Clement of Alexandria, The Stromata (Miscellanies) Supporting witness
But marriage, when by agreement it gives time to prayer, is a teaching of self-control. For he added the words “by agreement,” so that no one might dissolve a marriage. And he added “for a time,” in 1 Corinthians 7:5, so that a man who has taken a wife, if he practices self-control by necessity, may not slip into sin, and while sparing his own marriage, may desire another’s. For this reason, in the case of the man who thinks he is behaving improperly because he keeps his virgin unmarried, he rightly says that if she marries, he does not sin. But each person, whether he has chosen chastity, or whether he has joined himself in marriage for the begetting of children, must firmly remain in his own purpose and not turn aside to what is worse. For if he is able to increase and intensify the pattern of life he has chosen, he gains greater honor with God because of pure self-control that comes from reason. But if he goes beyond the rule he chose, he will then fall back into a lesser hope of glory. For just as chastity has its own duties and ministries, marriage also has its own duties and ministries that belong to the Lord. I mean the care of children and of a wife. For what properly occup
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Tertullian, On Monogamy Supporting witness
...od it is for a man not to touch a woman; but, on account of fornications, let each one have his own wife.” He shows that there were some who, having been apprehended by the faith while in marriage, were anxious whether it might not be lawful for them from then on to enjoy their marriage, because they had believed on the holy flesh of Christ. And yet it is by way of allowance that he makes the concession, not by way of command; that is, indulging, not commanding, the practice. On the other hand, he willed rather that all should be what he himself was. In the same way too, in sending a rescript on divorce, he shows that some had been thinking about that also, chiefly because they did not suppose that they were to continue, after faith, in heathen marriages. They sought counsel further concerning virgins—for there was no precept of the Lord—and were told that it is good for a man if he so remains permanently, of course as he may have been found by the faith. “You have been bound to a wife; seek not loosing. You have been loosed from a wife; seek not a wife.” But if you have taken a wife, you have not sinned. This is because, to one who before believing had been loosed from a wife,
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Genesis 2:24 Supporting witness
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
More related quotations from this section 1 shown
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1 Corinthians 7:10 Supporting witness
And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
Common Questions
Did early Christians think husbands should love their wives?
Yes. Ignatius, Clement of Alexandria, and the Apostolic Constitutions all tell husbands to love their wives.
Did early Christians expect wives to submit to their husbands?
Yes. Several early Christian writings tell wives to submit to or honor their husbands in the fear of God.
Did early Christians treat marriage as bad?
No. They usually treated marriage as good and honorable, while still urging self-control and faithfulness.
Source Index for Husbands and Marriage
The guided sections above show the strongest quotations. This compact index highlights 150 ranked source links from 160 compiled sources for deeper study.
Source index 150 ranked links shown
Early Christian Writings 80 shown of 90
Primary-source quotations from early Christian writers and church documents.
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Bible Passages 70 included
Related Bible passages saved for comparison with the early Christian quotations.