Chapter 6. Step 1: Spiritual Examination. Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. 2 Corinthians 13:5. What reply will you make in that day when at the twinkling of an eye an account is demanded of you for all the time that has been dealt out to you? How have you spent it? Anselm. Jesus warned us to count the cost of walking with Him. Whoever does not bear His cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.
For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it? Lest, after he has laid the foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, "This man began to build and was not able to finish." Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand?
Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace. So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple. Luke 14:27-33. If we're serious about living the fully surrendered kingdom life, then we're about to embark on building a great tower to Christ's glory. We're about to plunge into a fierce war against Satan, the world, and our own flesh. Ideally, we counted the costs of discipleship before we were converted and baptized.
However, in today's spiritual climate, the emphasis is not on "count the cost." Instead, we're merely invited to ask Jesus to come into our hearts. When we're ready to embark on the fully surrendered kingdom life, the first step we need to take is to examine ourselves. I'm not talking about a quick, cursory scan of our weaknesses. I'm talking about a thorough, no-holds-barred dissection of the state of our souls. The dreaded P-Trap.
I'm not much of a handyman, but one of the maintenance jobs I handle is fixing our bathroom sinks when they start to drain slowly. Because we're on a septic system, I can't simply pour one of the harsh commercial products down the drain to eat through the stoppage. I know one of the quickest ways to take care of the blockage is to remove the P-Trap under the sink and clean out what's there. Yet because I dread the nasty stuff I'm going to find, I invariably try every other possible remedy.
I'll put baking soda and vinegar down the drain. If that doesn't work, I'll pour boiling water down it. Anything but removing the P-Trap. However, at some point, I usually have to put a bucket under the sink and undo the P-Trap. Yuck. Somehow innocent things like soap, toothpaste, and hair turn into a horrible gray gunk when they get stuck in the drain. Sometimes just removing and emptying the P-Trap isn't enough.
I have to push a bent hanger or dowel rod up the drain pipe and bring down whatever goo is still in the pipe. More yuck. Am I ever glad when the disgusting job is over? That's the kind of spiritual self-examination I'm talking about. Not a simple baking soda and vinegar checkup. Rather, we need to remove the P-Traps of our souls and take a look at the hard gunk that has built up over the years.
All the selfishness, envy, greed, vanity, ambition, lust, hatred, anger, prejudice, dishonesty, unforgiveness, complaining, self-pity, bitterness, and pride that reside there. We also need to scrutinize our memory banks to recall all the times we've disobeyed God's commandments and all the times we've hurt and wronged others. We still aren't finished with our self-scrutiny. What about the fruits of the Christian life? How has our fruit production been?
When we look inside ourselves and examine our behavior, do we find love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? Galatians 5:22-23. In which of these fruits are we deficient? In which are we strong? Before we reinstall the P-Traps of our souls, we must let others help us in our examination. If we're married, we should ask our spouse for insights into the weaknesses in our lives. What areas do they see that we have not yet surrendered to Christ?
What changes do they think we will need to make to be fully surrendered? We should also receive input from mature Christian friends and our church leaders. They will likely see things that we don't. Let the Bible help you. There's still one last step in our examination before we can reinstall the P-Traps of our souls. No self-examination is complete until we've held up our lives to the light of God's Word. So we should now carefully read through the entire New Testament.
Even if we've already read the entire New Testament many times through, this time we will be reading it with a different purpose in mind. To learn everything we can about the kingdom life and compare it to our own lives. What does the kingdom life look like? Jesus lived a perfect kingdom life. What are things we see in His life that are lacking in ours? What commands and exhortations does the New Testament give about the Christian life? What promises does God make to help us live the kingdom life?
As we carefully read through the New Testament, we may want to highlight all such passages. Or, if it's not practical to highlight them, we can keep a notebook at hand on which to list these passages. When we're finished reading through the New Testament, we should then re-examine our lives in light of all the passages we've read. We may now realize that we need to surrender far more areas of our lives than we originally thought.
We may find that there are a lot of sins and ungodly traits that need to be cleaned out. Our attitude towards sin. Something else we need to examine is our attitude towards sin. God absolutely detests sin, but not the sinner. William Law points out, "Insofar as he sins, every sinner is a friend of the devil's and is carrying on the devil's work against God." Yet some Christians are attracted to sin and even find it amusing or entertaining.
Many Christians enjoy novels, movies, and television shows that focus on sin or that present sin in an attractive light. They may laugh at vulgar jokes. What about us? When Jesus addressed the church in Ephesus in Revelation, He charged them with having lost their first love. Yet even they hated the sexual immorality of the Nicolaitans. "This you have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate." Revelation 2:6. We hardly hate sexual immorality if we find it entertaining or humorous.
The authentic kingdom life leads a person to focus on godliness instead of worldliness. As Paul said, "Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue, and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8. What things do we meditate on or think about? Are they pure, praiseworthy things, or are they impure, unworthy things? What have we found?
We've now concluded our self-examination. If we've been brutally honest with ourselves, the picture probably isn't pretty. We've no doubt discovered lots of horrendous, sinful gunk deep inside us. Nineteenth-century preacher Samuel Logan Brengle says this about self-examination. "The Christian will find a big, dark, something in him that wants to get mad when things are against him. Something which will not be patient. Something that is touchy and sensitive. Something that wants to grumble and find fault.
Something that is proud and shuns the shame of the cross. Something that sometimes suggests hard thoughts against God. Something that is self-willed and ugly and sinful." What is the name of this troublesome "something"? Paul calls it by several names. In the eighth chapter of Romans, he calls it "the carnal mind." In the seventh chapter of Romans, he calls it "the body of this death" and wonders how he can get deliverance from it.
In Ephesians and Colossians, he calls it "the old man." In Galatians, he calls it "the flesh." Whatever you wish to call it, it is something evil and awful that remains in the heart after a man has been converted. Romans 8:7, Romans 7:24, Ephesians 4:22, Colossians 3:9, Galatians 5:17. Taking stock for the quest ahead. Satan will want to discourage you at this point. "Look at your long list of sins, flaws, and failings," he'll tell you.
"You're definitely not cut out for the kingdom life." Like Jesus, simply tell him, "Away with you, Satan." Matthew 4:10. What's important is not the size or severity of the list, but the size and depth of our faith and love. Christ's power can overcome whatever flaws and sins we have. On our own strength, we would be doomed to wallow in the cesspool of ungodly muck for the rest of our lives.
However, we can lift our heads high, for we know that through Christ's power, we can overcome whatever sins and weaknesses we have. With His help, we can complete the tower Jesus talked about. With His help, we can vanquish our enemies in the spiritual battles ahead. So don't give in to discouragement, but do ask yourself the following questions. To fully live the kingdom life, what things need to change in my life? What sacrifices will I need to make? What areas in my life are presently not surrendered to Christ?
What are some of the sins that seem to easily entangle me? What character flaws have I found in my heart? What godly fruits am I producing in my life right now? Where am I deficient? It might be wise to make a written list of these areas of sin and weakness and of the changes you will need to make with God's help. Then every morning pray for strength to meet those particular challenges, to overcome those particular weaknesses, and to be able to produce the fruits that you're still lacking.
That's one of the reasons we've done the spiritual examination. But there's a second reason.