Chapter 10. Nightly Examination. Another important secret to living the Kingdom life is nightly examination and repentance. I schedule my devotional hour at night, so I make this examination part of my devotional time. If your devotional time is in the morning, then make this nightly examination a part of your bedtime prayers. Ironically, I have come to love this nightly examination and repentance.
At first, I thought I must be odd in this respect, so I was encouraged when I came across the following statement from Henry Scougal: "Repentance itself is a delightful exercise when it flows from love." Why would a surrendered Christian find examination and repentance delightful? Because if we've had a victorious day, it is extremely encouraging to review the day's events with God and lay before Him those victories.
If we've had a day of sin and failure, it's like laying down a heavy burden to confess these transgressions and failures to God and seek His forgiveness. So either way, nightly examination and repentance is something we should look forward to. The following is my particular method of examination. You may find it helpful as a model. First, while in prayer before God, I think back to the very beginning of that day's events when I woke up that morning.
From there, I go chronologically through the day's events one by one. If I overcame a temptation or handled a situation in a godly manner, I thank God for giving me the victory. When I come to areas of failures or wrong attitudes, I confess and repent of them. But more than that, I analyze what the particular circumstances were that led to those failings. I found that my daily failings typically come when I'm responding to other people's actions or to unexpected negative events.
As a result, I'm learning to be particularly vigilant at such times, for that is when I'm most likely to sin. In addition to confessing and repenting, I also ask God to give me victory the next time I'm faced with a similar test. When I speak of repentance, I'm referring to something more than a quick "I'm sorry." Genuine repentance means to have profound remorse for sin. It means to feel deep sorrow and regret for rebelling against God.
Those living the Kingdom life don't just admit to general wrongdoing, but they also acknowledge that they've committed crimes against God Himself. William Law writes: "A confession that is without this sorrow and compunction of heart has nothing in it either to make amends for past sins or to produce in us any true reform and amendment of life." Part of making amends is to apologize to any persons we may have hurt and ask for their forgiveness. The benefits from such nightly examination are threefold.
It enables us to confess and repent of particular sins, not just sins in general. It makes us that much more aware of our conduct throughout each day, knowing we're going to be giving an account to God at the end of the day. Having gone to bed with a fresh recollection of that day's failings, they should still be fresh on our minds the next morning. So the next morning we can prepare our armor and weapons to vanquish those foes if they arise.
Although I've emphasized our sins and failings, it's good to mull over all of the day's activities with God, the victories and incidentals, as well as the failures. Go through the events of the day one by one and talk to God about them. Don't worry that you are leaving God waiting as you mentally peruse the day's events. He has endless patience and endless time. You never have to worry that He will hang up on you. By reviewing the day with God, you can receive His help in remembering its events.
He delights in your conversing with Him in this way, just as a mother would delight in sitting down with her child and hearing her child talk about that day's events. If you follow the suggestions in this chapter, you're on your way to a strong prayer life. But there is still another decisive step you need to take.