Discussion Questions

Alyssa said Matthew Milioni’s poll showed people felt “ministered to” by prayer, listening, meals, counsel, weeping, and practical help—not by “a really good sermon” or “a leader made a decision”; what does that reveal about how God tends to build up His body, and how does it challenge the way your church measures “real ministry”? JumpstartAnother way to ask: What does it show about how God builds up the church when people feel most helped by prayer, listening, meals, and practical care instead of great sermons or big decisions? How does that challenge how your church decides what “real ministry” is?

Alyssa emphasized that “women are to be silent in particular times and places” (referencing 1 Corinthians 14) but not silent “in every situation,” then immediately highlighted many active examples of women; what assumptions about church order and women’s voice do you bring to the discussion, and where do you feel resistance rising as you hear her frame it? JumpstartAnother way to ask: What beliefs do you already have about when women should speak or be quiet in church? As you hear Alyssa’s view, what part makes you feel pushback inside?

In Alyssa’s list of women (Mary Magdalene funding Jesus, Anna fasting and praying, Priscilla hosting and admonishing, widows washing feet and lodging strangers, Tabitha making garments, etc.), what picture of God’s priorities emerges from the kinds of work Scripture chooses to remember—and what kinds of “unremembered” faithfulness might God be noticing in your church right now? JumpstartAnother way to ask: From the kinds of women and work the Bible chooses to remember, what seems most important to God? What faithful “behind-the-scenes” work might God be noticing in your church right now?

Alyssa argued, “just because a command in Scripture is played out poorly does not mean it’s to be thrown out,” applying it to submission; where have you seen either the secular narrative (“submission is oppressive”) or the Christian ditch (“submission as a means for abuse”) shape your instincts, and what would it take for you to actually let Ephesians 5 redefine those instincts? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Where have you been shaped more by the idea that “submission is always oppressive” or by the idea that “submission can excuse abuse”? What would it take for Ephesians 5 to reshape how you think about submission?

Alyssa claimed submission is “for everyone,” rooting it in 1 Corinthians 11 (man to Christ; Christ to the Father) and in Jesus’ struggle in Gethsemane (“not as I will, but as you will”); how does seeing submission inside the Trinity and inside Jesus’ suffering change what you think God is like—and what parts of your life most resist that kind of submission? JumpstartAnother way to ask: How does it change your view of God to see submission shown within the Trinity and in Jesus in Gethsemane? What area of your life fights against that kind of submission the most?

Alyssa’s foot-rubbing story (“I was being pretty nasty… he started rubbing my feet”) was presented as a picture of Christ loving sinners and as something that “stopped me in my tracks”; what does this example teach about overcoming sin through kingdom-shaped love, and where might modern Christian instincts prefer a different method (lecture, shame, power, withdrawal)? JumpstartAnother way to ask: What does Alyssa’s foot-rubbing story teach about love helping someone turn from sin? Where do Christians today tend to choose other ways instead—like lecturing, shaming, using power, or pulling away?

Alyssa warned, “Do not speak negatively about your husbands to other people, sharing their flaws,” and tied it to Proverbs 31:23; what would need to change in your speech habits, friendships, or “processing” culture if you took this seriously—and how do you distinguish between sinful dishonor and necessary seeking of help in truly unsafe situations? JumpstartAnother way to ask: If you took Alyssa’s warning about not talking badly about your husband seriously, what would need to change in how you talk with friends or “process” problems? How can you tell the difference between disrespectful talk and getting needed help in truly unsafe situations?

Alyssa called motherhood “holy ground,” insisting mothers are serving “the future church,” then used the bricklayer parable (“laying bricks… building a wall… building a cathedral”); where do you personally tend to interpret your daily work as “just laying bricks,” and what concrete practices would help you reframe it as kingdom-building without slipping into self-glory? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Where do you see your everyday work as “just laying bricks” instead of building something for God’s kingdom? What practical habits could help you see it differently without turning it into pride?

Alyssa described “Holy Spirit moments” of randomly thinking of someone and sending a note, plus practical tokens (book, plant, bread, bubble tea); what would it look like for your group to obey the Spirit promptly in small, interrupting ways—and what fears (awkwardness, time, money, being misunderstood) keep you from acting? JumpstartAnother way to ask: What would it look like for your group to act quickly on small Holy Spirit nudges, like sending a note or giving a simple gift? What fears keep you from doing it—awkwardness, time, money, or being misunderstood?

Crystal said women have “a responsibility… to prioritize our walk with the Lord” because “without me you can do nothing,” then added Jesus didn’t “idolize his time with his father” but was interruptible when crowds came; in your real schedule, what would “intimacy first, fruit second” look like, and how would you know the difference between faithful interruptibility and undisciplined spiritual drift? JumpstartAnother way to ask: In your real schedule, what would it look like to put closeness with the Lord first and results second? How would you tell the difference between being wisely interruptible like Jesus and just drifting without spiritual discipline?