S2S Sisters: "The Sisters’ Role in Intentional Church Life" by Crystal Johnson and Alyssa Wray
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🎧 Audio Player with Transcript
Our prayer is that you will be filled with the knowledge of His will, strengthened with all might according to His glorious power. Welcome to Strength to Strength Sisters. It's a pleasure to have each of you here this afternoon.
My name is Doreen Kurtz, and I'm joining you from Western Massachusetts. My husband, Joe, and I are part of a small church family here. There's eight families in our church family. Joe and I are expecting our ninth child in March, so we're looking forward to that. We own a café and really long to bring Jesus' kingdom to the towns in this area. We live in a five-college area, and so there's thousands and thousands of young people here in New England that we long to share the gospel with and extend Jesus' kingdom here.
I'm excited to introduce to you our speakers today. Strength to Strength welcomes Crystal Johnson and Alyssa Ray. Crystal Johnson lives in Boston with her husband, Zach, and three young children, and fellowship with followers of the way. She is learning every day what it means to serve Jesus through homemaking, serving her church community, and loving her neighbors. She grew up on a farm in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, in an Amish Mennonite church. Six years ago, she moved to Boston to be a student at Sattler College and then to set up a home with her husband. She enjoys creating traditions with her family, reading, selling secondhand books, and learning about urban gardening.
And then our other speaker today, Alyssa Ray, has been married to her best friend, Clark, for 12 years. They homeschool their four children, and everyone is excitedly waiting for the arrival of another sibling due in March of 2026. Clark and Alyssa have been a part of an urban church with followers of the way in Boston for the last seven and a half years. They love living close and doing life with the church. Alyssa's family enjoys adventures, traveling, exploring new places, and meeting new people. As they hold their hands open to the Lord, laboring in His kingdom, they are continually learning to surrender their own will as they seek the face of Jesus and what He wants for their lives.
That's very beautiful. Today, these two sisters have been asked to share on the sisters' role in intentional church life. This is going to be so interesting and and such fun to listen to. We chose these two ladies. They are sisters in the same church family, and so I'm sure there's going to be some very practical things that they'll share with us today.
And I'll read their—I'll just read the description yet just for a little prelude here to their talks. What are the roles and responsibilities of sisters in the Christian community? Because women in many of our churches are not preaching at the Sunday gathering and are not in main leadership roles, it may feel as if their contributions are not as valuable or even necessary. But is this truly the case? Women in the New Testament and throughout history have served vital roles in the Christian community. Alyssa and Crystal, two women living in community together, will be exploring some of the ways women can serve their churches and communities through activities like hospitality, prayer, discipleship, and acts of service, which are all rooted in Christ's own life of service here on earth.
So we welcome you two ladies, and we are really looking forward to this. I want to pray for you, and then Alyssa, you can feel free to just launch right in. I want to mention too that after this, after Alyssa and Crystal are finished, we will open this up for a question and answer session.
Feel free to turn on your video. We would love to see your face. If you're not comfortable doing that, you can also submit your questions and comments in the chat box. All right, let's pray.
Father, thank you for your presence here this afternoon. Thank you for the opportunity to gather in this way. Lord, and I just ask that you will especially bless Alyssa and Crystal today. Father, I ask that your Holy Spirit would be poured out on them and that they would have clarity of mind, Father, and that the words would come well for them today. Lord, and I ask that our hearts would be open to hearing what you want to teach us today. Lord, and we realize that that women who are followers of Jesus have tremendous opportunity to extend your kingdom. And Father, many times this is done just in simple acts of service and very everyday, very everyday things.
So we ask you to speak to us, Lord, today. And we just commit this talk to you and ask that you will bless this platform and the people that will listen for days to come. May you use it for your honor and glory.
I ask all these things in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Thank you.
So thank you to the sisters who have come and asked us to speak. I really have just prayed that God can speak through us to you. To give a little context of our situation, we live here in Boston, and we live in a three-family home. We live on the top, and then there's a couple of single brothers in the middle, and then another family on the bottom. And then Crystal lives a block down the street, and two doors down from them, there's two more couples that kind of live on first and second floor. And then you go another block or so and turn the corner, and then there's another three-family home with a family, single sisters in the middle, and then another family on the bottom.
And then there are some other people that will travel in from outside areas. But the majority of our community is within very close walking distance. And I just want to assure you that our circumstance is very unique. But this talk that I want to talk about today, like the role of sisters in intentional community, this is geared towards all women in any context that you're in.
You can be intentional in your church. So to start off, we have what is the role of a sister in intentional community? It's hard to answer this question without first asking, like, what's the role of a woman in the church? I think many of us from the backgrounds that we come from teach that women are to be silent in the church, like in 1 Corinthians 14. And I'm not going to go into a lot of details about what this means and why.
But just because women are silent in particular times and places doesn't mean that they're silent in every situation. And I think as you—we walk through examples in the Bible of women, you will see that they weren't silent in every situation.
And so I don't want that to be a hindrance to us today. When we first got asked to give this talk, my mind immediately went to a sermon that Matthew Milioni preached a couple of years ago, and it was titled "Women in Ministry." He started off by sending a poll out before the sermon and asked straight, "State three times when somebody ministered to you as a Christian, what sticks out?"
And these are a list of things that he got. Somebody prayed for me. Somebody listened to me, told me to rest, encouraged me, saw me—saw what needed to be done and pitched in, brought me meals, gave advice, sat with me and admonished me, taught me how to pray, listened to my problems, gave counsel, took time to answer my questions, invited me to be with their family, and wept with me.
Matthew made the point that not one person wrote in that someone preached a really good sermon or that a leader made a decision that was really meaningful. Sermons and decisions by church leaders are incredibly invaluable and vital to church life. So I'm not downplaying those roles. But when we're talking about ways that people felt ministered to, any one of us, man or woman, can do these things. Women are vital in church life. We all have gifts.
Men and women work very well together under the order that is laid out by Scripture. 1 Corinthians 12:12-14 says, "For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. For by one Spirit we are all baptized, whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free, and have all been made to drink into one Spirit. For in fact, the body is not one member, but many."
So we are all important in church life, men and women. Crystal and I are going to talk through some examples about how this can play out. I'm going to start by sharing some things, some ways that we can serve, and then I'm going to pass it off to Crystal, and we can learn from her. So when it comes to serving in the church, first and foremost, whether you're married or unmarried, your faith must be rooted in the foundation of Jesus Christ. This is vital to any kind of ministry. If we want to minister to the Lord, we must be rooted in the Lord.
As we talk about all of the things that women can do, I'm going to start by going over a brief overview of women in the Bible who were noted in some way for serving the kingdom of God. Mary Magdalene, Joanna the wife of Chuza, Susanna and others provided financially for Jesus.
Anna, a prophetess, was a widow of about 84 years old who died, who did not depart from the temple, but served God with prayer and fasting. Lois and Eunice, who were Timothy's grandmother and mother, modeled holiness. When I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, I am persuaded is in you also.
Priscilla, the wife of Aquila, hosted church in her house, and they admonished the followers. Lydia was a seller of purple. There's a section that talks about widows who had served in the church and talks about some of their good works.
It talks about bringing up children, lodging strangers, washing the saints' feet if she has relieved the afflicted and has diligently followed every good work. Tabitha, which is translated Dorcas, she died, and there were widows at the, you know, at the funeral, and they were showing Peter the garments that she had made for them. And then Peter, you know, raised her from the dead.
Elizabeth, John the Baptist's mother, was known for encouraging Mary, the mother of Jesus. Ruth, steadfast love and devotion to Naomi. Esther, courage to do the right thing, standing up for truth. Mary, the mother of Jesus, the ultimate example of submission, trust, obedience, support, and support to Jesus to the very end. Naomi, older women mentoring the younger women in godliness. The widow of two mights, sacrificial living and giving everything.
Peter's mother-in-law, she had a high fever, and then Jesus healed her, and she rose and started serving them. PB, known to be a servant in the church. Mary, who sat at the feet of Jesus, devotion and sitting at the feet of Jesus.
Martha, active service and hospitality. So I just gave you a lot of examples of women in the kingdom and how they served. And one thing that I want to stress here is out of the 20 plus women that I just mentioned, they are all known for different things. We all have different giftings and don't feel like you can do it all. No, find an area in your church that you can serve, keep it small, keep it doable for your stage of life.
In our community here, there are so many strengths.
Crystal and I both have different strengths, and all of the other women that are around us, we all work together well and we complement each other. The ways that we can serve the church can be very broad, and we're going to go through some practical ways that we can serve the church.
First, I'm going to start by talking about how we can physically serve the home. I was with a sister last night, and I asked her, I said, "What's, you know, a way that we can serve each other in intentional community?" And her response was immediate, "Serve your husband, serve your children."
Now, I know this doesn't apply to every sister in the church. Not all sisters are married, and it may never apply to you. In this community, I have been so impressed with our single sisters and the amazing work I have seen them do. You have a lot to give and are incredibly valuable.
So in service to your husband, today's culture says that submission is oppressive, controlling, and full of inequality, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But there's the other side of the ditch, which is something I have personally seen firsthand in the Christian context, which is this idea of submission as a means for abuse. I think we've all heard horror stories about husbands beating wives into submission, which is probably the reason why the secular world believes so strongly that submission is oppressive and controlling. But I want to make the argument that just because a command in Scripture is played out poorly does not mean it's to be thrown out.
As we look at some Scriptures, I hope that we can see a different view of submission. 1 Corinthians 11:3 says, "But I want you to know the head of every man is Christ, and the head of women is man, and the head of Christ is God." Ephesians 5:22-30 says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church, for we are all members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones."
Nowhere in these Scriptures does it say that Christ beat the church into submission or that husbands are to beat their wives into submission. It says that Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, and the husbands are to love their wives as they do their own bodies, nourishing and cherishing it.
It doesn't sound abusive to me. It sounds life-giving, protecting. The other thing, the other point I want to make is that submission is not only for women. 1 Corinthians 11 says that man is to be submissive to Christ. Women are to be submissive to man, but also that Christ, our ultimate example, is to be submissive to the Father. And it wasn't always easy for him. As we think about the story of Jesus praying in the garden in Matthew 26, it talks about Jesus' own struggle with what he needed to do to be in submission to the Father. It says, "He went a little farther and fell on his face and prayed, saying, 'O Father, if it be possible, let this cut pass from me.
Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.'" And obviously, we know the ending of the story, that Christ fulfilled the Father's will and humanity was saved because of it. When I think about men in our community, I see men cherishing and supporting their women. My husband is very supporting and loving to me, and I have no feelings of being oppressed or in submission prison.
My husband cares about me and my opinions about things. He wants my input, but there are also times when, as the leader of our family, he does make decisions for us. I know he is ultimately thinking about the overall well-being of our family.
I remember a time when, at the beginning of our marriage, when I was being pretty nasty to my husband, and my husband just very gently sat me down. He grabbed a bottle of lotion, and he started rubbing my feet.
I just sat there in tears. I'm like, "What? What is wrong? Like, this is this is this is odd." But that was my husband showing me Christ, because Christ died for us while we were still sinners. I was very humbled. It did not encourage my bad behavior. It stopped me in my tracks, and I saw how nasty I was being.
It made me want to follow the man that loved me so much. The ways of the kingdom truly turn the world upside down. So let's encourage our husbands. Let's support them. Let's respect them. Proverbs 31:23 says, "Her husband is known in the gates. Do not speak negatively about her husbands to other people, sharing their flaws." We are all human, and we all have flaws. Don't talk about your husband's flaws with other people, just like we wouldn't want our husbands to talk about our flaws with his friends. Let's encourage each other in Christ.
I am very thankful for my godly husband, but I also know that it's not the case for everyone. I know there are women in unsafe relationships, and I do not condone abuse in the name of submission. If you need help, you should seek help.
Submission is not abusive. It's not oppressive, and it's not only for women. Submission is for everyone. It creates beauty and order in our communities as it imitates and demonstrates Christ's relationship with his Father.
Next, I'm going to talk about serving our children. I think my deepest desire as a mom is to pass my faith on to my children. And I just love the example of Lois and Eunice, who were known to set to set that their genuine faith set up Timothy for his ministry.
Mothering is the hardest thing I've ever done. I recently received encouragement from an older woman who shared with me a time in her life when she was finally able to admit to her husband and to another sister that she loved being a mother, but she did not always enjoy the daily life of mothering.
Through this confession and specific prayer, the Lord was able to change her heart and to love the daily task of mothering. This was powerful to me for a couple of reasons. One, I was not alone in similar feelings I had been having. I love praying the verse, "And do not let us grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."
But sometimes we are weary. And then what? Which brings us to the second thing that I learned, is that there is help in our struggle. This simple yet profound example of a husband and a sister in the church praying for this mother showed support and ultimately led to change. Which brings me to my last my last point there, is that God can change our hearts.
We, as mothers, are not just changing diapers and cleaning up a potty accident and doing all the laundry for all those potty accidents. Can anyone tell what's in my life right now? We are not just kissing boobies, wiping tears, talking through fears, settling arguments, disciplining, reading the same story for the fourth time that day and also the 15th time that week. We are not just giving hugs, teaching math facts, trying to instill diligence and honesty and kindness and love and joy and patience and all the things. Day by day by day, we are serving, Lord willing, the future church.
Do not forsake your daily work, ladies. You are walking on holy ground. Even Proverbs 31 talks about a virtuous woman and how she serves the home. Verse 15 says, "She also rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants." Verses 21 to 22 says, "She's not afraid of snow for her household, for her household is clothed in scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple."
Verses 26 to 28 says, "She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, he praises her." This is a parable that was in a recent devotional here, and I'm going to repeat it here, but there was a man who there was a bunch of bricklayers. There were three bricklayers all working, and the man went up to the first bricklayer, and he asked him what he was doing, and the man said, "I'm I am laying bricks." He went up to the second bricklayer and asked him what he was doing, and the man said, "I'm building a wall."
And he went up to the third bricklayer, and he asked him what he was doing, and he looked up with a smile on his face, and he says, "I am building a cathedral." You are not just laying a brick or holding a fussy baby or wiping up sticky messes on the floor. You are building the kingdom of God.
Your task as a mother is not inferior. It is a high calling to which you have been called. Other ways that we can physically support the church. We can financially support ministries or the poor. We can take meals to people after babies or illnesses. A meal is a very practical way to care for daily needs.
A quick example of my sister-in-law, I was just very inspired by her. She had three small children, and she committed to taking a meal to a family once a week. And it felt overwhelming to me to do that with three small children, but she loves she likes to cook, and she felt like, "I'm already cooking. Why don't I just cook a little bit extra and take it to them?" And she did that for a period of time.
She was serving the Lord in her dedication to making dinner, not only for her family, but for another couple in the church.
Another example that this that in our community is anytime that we go on a pretty long trip, you know, like a week or so, when you're trying to clean out the fridge and get all the food out, and you come home, there's more often than not, I have food in my fridge. My husband said it was breaking and entering, but not stealing anything, just replacing it.
Where there is another sister or a brother will will put some things in our fridge.
There are women serving in soup kitchens and homeless shelters. There's an unmarried sister here that faithfully serves in a homeless ministry at a local church. There's some older single sisters back in California that's always really inspiring to me that they they served for Samaritan's Purse for the disaster relief. A disaster would happen here in the United States, and they would go and make food for the people that were helping in the disaster.
They chose to serve in that way, and I've always been impressed by how much they would give to people around them. Next, we're going to move on to encouragement. Or maybe we could just say friendship. I want to think a little bit about what it would have been like to be Mary, the mother of Jesus. She was visited by an angel. The angel tells her that she has found favor with the Lord and that she has been chosen to carry Jesus in her womb, the anticipated Savior.
After finding out she was pregnant, Joseph was planning to put her quietly until he too was visited by an angel. When we think about the story of the gospel, it's hard to separate this story from the entirety of the gospel and knowing what happens in the end, that being Jesus loved us so much that he died on the cross and saved humanity.
But try to think about it from Mary's perspective, this beautiful example of extreme submission doing a very hard thing. The scriptures don't talk about how Mary felt during that period of pregnancy, how the people around her viewed her, especially in a culture where pregnancy before marriage was very shameful.
We do not know the range of feelings that she felt, but we do know that she was human. And in that way, we can think about some of the things she might have felt. I'm currently also pregnant, and I can tell you my range of feelings are quite heightened.
Luke 1:41-45 says that she went to visit her cousin Elizabeth, and Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary. And Elizabeth was being was filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke these words to her. And then she spoke out with a loud voice and said, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. But why is it granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For indeed, as soon as the voice of your greeting sounded in my ears, the babe leapt in my womb for joy. Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord."
As much as we can imagine Mary's feelings, we don't know. But what we do know is that God spoke through Elizabeth the words of encouragement to Mary. We know that Mary needed those words, and we know that Elizabeth was faithful to be able to receive the Holy Spirit and speak those words to her.
Now, obviously, none of us have been chosen to carry the Savior in our wombs, but we all have ups and downs. The woman who did carry the Savior in her womb also needed encouragement, and that is just a huge way that our community can support each other.
It can feel embarrassing to be so weak when we just really want to be superwomen. I'm not. I mentioned struggling with mothering and how an older woman spoke to me the struggle, but I also shared the struggle in tears, not only to my husband, to to my sisters here.
When I'm able to be vulnerable and share my own struggles, I am surrounded by words of encouragement and prayer. I have many times been able been the recipient of a verbal word of encouragement, a note, or a book that has lifted my spirit and helped me to keep moving forward.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if we fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who falls alone, for he has no one to help him up." We need each other.
I'm very inspired by my aunt, who is a powerhouse encourager, I think. The amount of times that people would come up to me here in Boston and say, "Your aunt messaged me and sent a note of encouragement." The women haven't actually met each other, but she knew them through me living here, and I have so many times been on the receiving end of her encouragement. So thank you.
What are some of the ways that sisters that you can encourage the sisters around you? I really want to encourage you to listen to your conscience here. Sometimes the need is obvious. You know, like if I'm in your living room weeping about my struggles, it might feel kind of obvious. But sometimes it's not so obvious. I have many times heard testimonies of people randomly thinking about someone else and sending them a note or reaching out in some way to find out that they really needed a hand to help them up. I believe these are Holy Spirit moments.
So a list of ways that we can encourage is verbal words of encouragement, a text message, a card or a note, small tokens such as a small gift, a book or a plant, a loaf of bread, a bubble tea. They might just help someone feel noticed and not alone when they are walking through a rough time. It does not require something big or grand, time-consuming or expensive, just a simple act to show that you care. It can be the hand that holds up.
The last thing I'm going to talk about is prayer. That something goes right alongside encouragement. I know sometimes I will pray for you can sound kind of cliché, and sometimes we aren't sure if God is listening. But prayer has power, and we must believe that. Again, the greatest example is Jesus.
If Jesus, the Son of God, spent a lot of time praying and communicating with the Father, we too cannot thrive without him. Luke 18:1-8 says, "Then he spoke a parable to them that men ought to pray and not lose heart, saying, 'There was a city, there was a certain city, there was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man. Now there was a widow in that city, and she came to him saying, 'Get justice from my adversary.' And while and he would not for a while. But after he said to himself, 'Though I do not fear God nor man, yet this widow troubles me. I will avenge her unless by her continual coming she weary me.'
Then the Lord said, 'Hear what the unjust said. And shall God not avenge his own elect who cry out day and night to him, though he bears long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he really find faith on earth?'" How many of us have felt like the persistent widow concerning a certain issue?
Sometimes we really want things, and sometimes we pray for those things, but how many times do we actually pray for that thing? What does it look like to be the persistent widow? A couple of years ago, I dedicated myself to praying for someone close to me for every single day for a year.
Throughout the year, a family member kept calling me and saying, "Elisa, this person is doing so well." She's like, "Elisa, this person, like just over and over, like you cannot imagine the change in this person's life." Praise the Lord. That experience made me so thankful for the power of prayer and also a bit ashamed about how not how often I am not the persistent widow.
When I was young, I had a specific prayer that didn't seem to get answered. I grew up with a father who abused alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, you name it. He left our home when I was five. I prayed so hard for many years, but still, many, many years of my life were very hard without my prayers being answered.
I felt embarrassed that my family's issues were so public and that we were often on public display. I felt very outside the box, but I don't know that any of us really fit into a box. Even though there were many lonely times, our church was tremendously supportive of our family in so many ways: food and money, babysitting, counsel, new clothes, Christmas gifts, you name it. There were women who pulled me into like helping their family with young children and taught me how to cook and clean and taught me how to sew. There was a tremendous amount of support.
I am 35 years old, making it 35 years. I'm 35 years old now, making it 30 years ago that my dad left our home. There were several ministers who were trying to help my parents, and we didn't know it at the time, but at least one of them, I'm sure more of them, but I only know about one of them specifically, committed to praying for our family daily. A couple of years ago, one of this minister's wife died. And a couple weeks after the funeral, this brother came up to my mom in tears and said, "Sally, I need to make an apology. During my wife's end-of-life funeral, I missed praying for your family for a couple of days."
My mom, obviously in shock at what she just heard, quickly reassured him that's okay. My mom has had people ask her how she did it, and she would always answer, "By the grace of God." When I hear stories like that praying minister, I quickly realize that absolutely nothing good in my life is of my own doing.
It is because of the decades of prayers of devoted men and women who make it happen.
On one of our recent trips back to California, another brother also mentioned to my husband that he prays for our family daily. The dedication is astounding, and I fall very short. Just in preparation for this talk, I called my mom, and she gave me a lot of really good things to think about. And a day or two later, it really hit me the gravity of some of the things that she said, also bringing me to tears. I'll get back to the call with my mom, and I'm going to share a story first.
I was around nine years old. Life was very hard. There were a lot of things happening. My mom went back to college to try to—she's an occupational therapist now—but in the time period, she had to go to college and work to try to support us along with the family, the the church family that was very helpful.
I was really struggling. I was broken. I deeply wanted a father and felt very lonely. I remember thinking that just crying—I would cry in bed at night many times. And I remember one night thinking, like, "I've heard people talk about God being a father." And like, "Okay, fine. I'm going to do that.
We'll see. We'll see how it goes." And so I went out into our garage, and I pulled out a ladder, and I went to the front yard of our tree on our city street. So it's not like a quiet closet. I went out to the tree of our city street, and I climbed the tree, and there was like this perfect spot that I loved to go as my prayer spot where the tree branches went—one went kind of like a V, and then there was one that went back, and I could just sit right back in there. And I remember time after time just crying and weeping, crying out to the Lord. And I remember sitting, and I remember listening and just hearing and imagining what—imagining heaven.
And I was also—I was also a child. So a lot of times I would, you know, end by saying, "Hey, hi to my grandpa." But I would many times, I would come out of that tree, and I still remember the physical warmth that I felt every time. I felt loved, cared for, and so peaceful in those moments as a nine-year-old.
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me." And I came to him, and he did not turn me away. Going back to the phone conversation with my mom, she shared how she prayed over and over, maybe like the persistent widow, that God would be a father to us, that he would be a father to the fatherless.
It really hit me that her exact prayer was my exact first encounter with the Lord. Now, my brother's stories are not the exact same as mine, but God has absolutely worked in their lives in a way that only God can work in lives.
And that's their story to share. Praise the Lord. I want to just give a small shout-out to single moms here. My heart goes out to you. My mom said that many times it didn't feel like you have much, if anything, to give. But sometimes just praying minute by minute teaches you how to pray and teaches utter dependence on the Lord.
I think about my mom now and how much wisdom I have gained from her and the many from the many things that she has had to learn. Her prayers, 35-year-old prayers by now, were answered by the Lord, and I am forever grateful.
The power of a praying mom, the power of a praying church. Those times in my life were very hard, but the amount of prayer that covered us because of it, priceless. It's a true gift of God.
A little note on unanswered prayers. I mentioned that I had a prayer that went unanswered, and as the case for many people, when they look back over their lives, you can see a bigger picture and how things turned out a lot more beautiful than I could have ever imagined it. Don't lose heart. Now, as we move back to sisters in the church and intentional community, no matter where we are in life or what stage we're in, this is something that we can all do, and it is powerful. The Bible commands us to pray. It tells us to pray without ceasing. Pray when we're anxious. Pray when we're heavy laden. To cast our cares on the Lord, to draw near to God so that he can draw near to us.
Pray so that we do not enter into a temptation. He desires us to be in communication with him. Matthew 7:7 says, "Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be open to you."
Whether you are a new believer who just committed yourself to the Lord, or an older woman who finds it hard to get out, or an older woman with an empty nest, or a busy mom with lots of little to care for, or an unmarried sister, or a widow, or a single mom, or whatever life looks like for you, we all have the power of prayer at our fingertips to serve the people inside and outside the church.
I highly recommend that you write down your prayers, big and little, and then watch how God works, and then write down the answered prayers so that you can be encouraged for years to come. Just in today's talk, the amount of people in our community here and abroad that have been praying for us is a gift. Many women have messaged me. My uncle texted me this morning and sent me a blessing. My mom and my aunt have been talking with me throughout this time I'm preparing.
A sister from Richmond messaged me yesterday. Some of the ladies hosting this messaged us their prayer. A while back, my mom mentioned talking about this talk with another sister in her church in California, and she said that she was going to have her Bible study group pray for us. I'm sure there's people in Crystal's family. I just, I am so thankful for men and women in the church that are praying. I have many times been surrounded by prayer. What a gift. Let's pay it forward.
Thank you, Alyssa, for that. And I'll just say, um, it is a joy and a pleasure to be able to be here with Alyssa. I, we've been now living here in East Boston together for about, hmm, close to, I mean, four years, a little over four years. Um, and yeah, we are very different. And we, you'll even see that in our talk today. There's going to be some overlap, and I beg your forgiveness for the places where I say some of the same things that Alyssa did or already said. Um, but we're also very different in our, the way we speak and our styles are different. And so hopefully it can be, all of it together can be edifying and all of that to to all of you.
Um, and I also just want to preface this by saying that I'm coming from the things I'm going to be talking about are not necessarily things that it's like, these are my strengths. These are the things I'm doing well at, but it's more of a need or, um, these are areas that I need a lot of growth in. And even the last couple of weeks, it's been just a reminder to me of how much these very things that I was like thinking about and studying, it's like, oh, I have so much work still to do. Um, so with that, just a short, like, basically I'm going to lay out a little bit of the format of how I'm going to try and going to be trying to speak about things today, and then we'll get right into it.
And one is, so four different areas or like domains, I guess, that we have in relation to our roles and responsibilities in the church. Um, and the first one, and again, here again, I apologize for, I know there's some overlap. We did get together before, but we did not go over our speech or our talks, um, verbatim. So, um, but for the four domains that I think we have, um, in relation to our roles and responsibilities is what are our roles and responsibilities in regard to myself personally, and then in regard to our family, and then in regard to our church, um, and then further out to the world, because I think our lives touch all of those areas are important.
Um, and this is not original with me. I think, uh, Finney Crivelli gave a had a message about this, but just this fountain where it's like it's an overflowing fountain at the top is the personal, and then that flows into the family, and then that flows into the church, and then flows into the world. Um, and so with that, I just, yeah, let's, the first one is like, what is our role and responsibility in regard to ourselves? And I think we know this, but we have a responsibility actually to our brothers and sisters to prioritize our walk with the Lord. Um, deep spirituality and deep knowing of God that's needed equally in men and women.
And Alyssa touched on this, but just because women are not, you know, leading the church or preaching, um, at the Sunday gathering doesn't mean that we don't need that same like vibrant and even just to study scripture and and be in the word. Um, and obviously we get some of that vibrancy by cultivating, uh, disciplines like scripture reading and prayer and the other disciplines. Um, and this is also Jesus himself said that when someone asked him, what is the greatest commandment? It's love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And the rest comes after that. Um, so we need to, I think that's one thing.
We just need to make sure that our our own lives, we are rooted and grounded, um, in scripture and in a vibrant relationship with God. Um, Jesus always called his disciples. He would say, follow me, um, and then I will do this in you and through you. Um, it was first come to me, follow me, and then I will make you fishers of men. Um, Jesus says things like, I am the vine, ye are the branches. He that abideth in me and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit. Without me, you can do nothing. All the things that we do that Alyssa talked about, that I'll be talking about, all these things lack life and fruit and effectiveness if our own personal relationship, um, is not vibrant and deep.
There's a quote that I love from, um, Tyler Staton. He's the author of a book called, um, Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools. And he says this, intimacy in prayer is the way to lasting fruitfulness. Our lives are about intimacy. Fruitfulness is the collateral gain of that intimacy. So often we focus on the the fruitfulness part of it, and it's good to think about those things, but remembering that first comes intimacy with Christ, and then the rest flows from that. Um, and then I have some examples here, which Alyssa already even touched on, but, um, Timothy's mother and grandmother, uh, you know, they had that unfeigned faith in them, and they were able to pass that on to their children.
It's hard to impart or pass on something that you don't already have. Um, Anna, the woman in the temple, she was there for, I mean, give or take 60 years, and she served God with fastings and prayers day and night, and she recognized Jesus, the baby when he came, as who he was. Um, and you know, like Alyssa said, Jesus also took time away from the crowds, and there are multiple times where we see this in scripture. Um, but then I guess it didn't stop there. We see in Jesus's life that it did not stop there for Jesus. Yes, he took time away. He knew his need for rest and all of that. Um, but he didn't, and this sounds kind of funny, but he didn't idolize his time with his father.
Um, Mark says, uh, that after John the Baptist's death, you know, Jesus told his disciples, come, we'll go apart and rest in the desert place. Um, because there were so many people coming and going that they didn't even have time to eat. Um, and they left in a ship, and the people saw them leaving, and they ran there out of all the cities, and they got there, and the crowds were there, and Jesus looked at them and had compassion on them. Um, and he began to teach them many things.
So he has compassion. He ends up feeding them as well. Um, and this is really important for me to remember, especially as a mom, because I think I can get, as a mom of three little people, I can get frustrated when it feels like my time with the Lord is taken from me by a, you know, a toddler who, um, doesn't want to stay in bed. Um, and I've tried to learn to bring them into that as much as I can and teach them to stay in bed too. But, um, there's just, uh, Jesus willingly gave up that time sometimes when there was a need. He yielded to that, um, because I think sometimes for myself, I can feel like, oh, I would be so much, I could be so much more spiritual and do so many more good things for the kingdom if I didn't have children.
Um, and that's a horror, that that's a terrible, it feels terrible thing to say. Um, but I think what I have needed to realize, like Alyssa said, is that the small work that we do as mothers, um, is, is, is kingdom work. Um, and so, like I said, Jesus, he had that time with his father, but then he also was interruptible. Um, and that, you know, the second commandment, love, first we love the Lord, and then we love others. Um, so second, the second part there, like our roles in regard to our families, um, Titus 2, I just want to read that. Um, it's Paul talking to Titus about, I guess, the expectations or the things that he wants to see in the church.
And first of all, he says that the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given too much wine, teachers of good things, that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, and good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of the Lord be not blasphemed. And just zeroing in there on young women, there are about eight things commanded, and four of them specifically relate to their own home, um, which is really interesting.
Um, Mother Teresa, the Catholic missionary to India, she had some really interesting things to say about family. And this is one quote from her. She said, "Our union with Christ must be something real, not mere fantasy. It must be alive, deeply felt, the fruit of conviction, and it must bear fruit, first of all, in the family. If we do not love our family from within, and if we do not love our neighbor, then our life is a failure." And that's pretty strong. It's pretty strong words. Um, but I think it's, it's been really, um, convicting for me to think about how does God view our good deeds to others if my words and actions and tones, um, and looks even are not gentle, um, with my children.
It's really easy to get frustrated with trying to get your children. You know, I have three little people, four and under, and so trying to get us all out the door can be a feat sometimes. And, you know, you can, it can be easy to get frustrated in that moment. But then I walk out the door and I meet my neighbor and I meet them with a sweet smile and say, you know, and greet them.
And that's not, that's not at all the way, um, that it should be. And I don't, I, I think, I don't say this in a place or in a way to hopefully not shame or condemn any of us sisters, moms who are mothers. And, you know, I, I do get frustrated sometimes with my children. It is something that God is teaching me day by day. Um, I am so thankful we have a father who forgives, and I have children who I ask their forgiveness, you know, when these moments happen. And praise God, there are, there, there has been growth in my life. And as I've, you know, in my almost five years of being a mom, that I've been growing in this and I'm longing and striving to be a mom, a woman who no matter how hard I'm bumped and jostled, that I only pour out, um, sweetness and graciousness.
Um, and yeah, I would just say, I think, don't, and Alyssa said this too already, but don't despise the smallness or the seeming insignificance of loving your children, loving your husband. Um, if you're so at home, loving your your parents or your siblings, and it is kingdom work to love and to cherish and to walk with and disciple those that are in, um, our own household. And then that will flow out into our, into our community in powerful ways, and that can be positive or or negative.
So that brings us to like the, our roles and responsibilities in regard to church. And I'm going to focus on this in both, in two ways, discipleship and hospitality. Um, there are just many, many ways to serve the church, and Alyssa mentioned some of those already. Um, and all of these things for me, discipleship and hospitality, those things are going to look different in all of our lives. Um, sometimes there's with discipleship, sometimes there's a formal relationship or defining of like, this is a discipleship relationship. Other times it's just informal and it just happens in the, uh, with living life together. So I guess what is discipleship? And for me, when I think about, so just my own personal definition of discipleship, but discipleship to me is intentional relationship with the purpose of knowing Christ and becoming an imitator of him.
We see Jesus did this with his disciples. He called his disciples into his life to follow him, to eat with him, to sleep with him, to minister with him, to walk with him. Um, the purpose wasn't just to be best friends. It was to know the Father and to become like himself.
And we also see that discipleship is commanded, um, in Titus 2, uh, and specifically that's the command given to older women. And I don't feel like I'm an older woman, um, I by any stretch of the imagination, but I, there are women in my church who are younger than me. And so this can apply to me. And personally, it was something that I longed to do. It's like, how do you do this? And do you ask someone? Do they ask you? How does this work? Um, and something I prayed about and actually for several years, and God brought a relationship into my life. And there's a young lady who comes to my house, usually over nap time, so we don't go out.
Um, and sometimes, sometimes the children are sleeping and sometimes they wake, and she just kind of joins in the chaos of the the house with three little people. I distinctly remember one time it was getting, we were at the end and I was just wanting to pray a prayer.
And, um, I had just found this quote by someone and it was, or a prayer that someone else had written, and I wanted to pray that. And it seemed like the minute I started, that was the signal for all the children to start crying or need something. And she was very gracious and just, you know, we went with it. And that meeting kind of ended and I think the Lord heard our prayers, but it was much more chaotic. And, um, discipleship looks different for me in this stage of life than it would have in another, in another stage. I have also been on the receiving end of discipleship. Obviously, my mom, I, my grandma, who is very special to me, women in the church I grew up and women in my church here in Boston.
And this looks different. Sometimes it's listening. Sometimes it's speaking words of truth into my life. Sometimes it's providing accountability for a specific sin issue that I am working on or for areas that I want to grow in. Um, here in Boston, one of the ways, the practical ways that we flesh this out is we have a bi-weekly meeting called Christiformity. Um, just, it's kind of a funny word, but, uh, just wanting to be formed into the image of Christ. But we meet every other Wednesday morning at six o'clock a.m. And like Alyssa said, we are all, um, all of us except for the satler students, um, we all live right here. And so we can walk to each other's houses.
And, um, we have some questions that we ask each other, um, to keep each other accountable. And I can give you more details on that if anybody's interested. Um, but we speak into each other's life and then we end with prayer. And that is just a very simple way that we can be discipling each other, growing with each other.
Um, so again, what does discipleship look like? It's being in each other's lives. It's knowing each other and loving each other. It's listening. And there's this quote by, um, Dietrich Bonhoeffer that I really love. And he says, "Christians have forgotten that the ministry of listening has been entrusted to them by the one who is indeed the great listener and whose works, in whose work they are to participate. We should listen with the ears of God so that we can speak the word of God."
Um, just this past week, I was at, you know, admonished that I'm not always a good listener, um, and that there are times that I need to be quiet and listen more. Um, and this person was able to speak that simply because I, they had been listening to me, um, talk too much. But if we want to know the people around us, we must learn to ask questions and then listen attentively. It's a big part of it. Um, another part of discipleship is offering exhortation. And here again, I'm going to, um, one more quote by Bonhoeffer. And he says, "Nothing can be more cruel than that leniency which abandons others to their sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than that severe reprimand which calls another Christian in one's community back from the path of sin."
Um, Ecclesiastes 12 talks about the words of the wise are like goads. And goads are not, if you imagine being goaded by something, it's not a pleasant, um, experience. I will say one thing with exhortation. I think it's generally better received when there is, you know, built up relational capital. Um, Paul does this in his epistles. John does it in his letters to the churches where it's, um, most of the letters start with encouragement for things well done and then moves into things that are not being done. And exhortation should never come from the spirit of being critical, um, but rather from a heart that really aches with love for the person and a deep desire to see them formed into the image of Jesus.
Um, and here again, the realms of discipleship will often look different for married and unmarried people. For mothers, for me, my primary discipleship happens in my home, um, to my children. And women, I will say that women without families, um, unmarried women can be absolute powerhouses in this, this role of discipleship of women. They are, um, you know, more time, um, and all of that. And they serve a very unique and powerful role in the church. They don't just serve the church by babysitting the children, um, so that parents can go out and have a day. Although I do believe that's a, you know, a service to God and to the church. But it's much more than that.
It's a, the role is essential and it's a, there's just so much more. Um, I mean, Paul talks about this in Corinthians. There's much more, um, flexibility and freedom to do those things. Um, and then in this other, in the other ways we can serve the church is hospitality. And I really do think that in hospitality, um, compassion like Jesus, and then this other trait that we see in him so often, which is interruptibility. I feel like those are the, the heart at the heart of compassion. You know, Peter tells us to be hospitable to one another without grumbling. Um, and without grumbling may be the key piece there. But when we think about hospitality, there are so many ways.
It can mean making meals. It can mean providing a place for people to sleep. But at its core, it's a, I think, a mindset of welcome, um, inviting people in. Um, the origins of the word, I think this is kind of fun, but of the word hospitality used in the Bible, the Greek word is philoxenos or something like that. And it philo means to love and philos means, um, friend. And then xenos means stranger. And so putting it all together, it is loving the stranger or a stranger treated as a friend. Um, I like Rosaria Butterfield. She wrote the author, or she wrote the book, The Gospel Comes with a House Key. And she says this, "Radically ordinary hospitality is this, using your Christian home daily in a daily way that seeks to make strangers neighbors and neighbors family of God."
So I think first, obviously we practice this hospitality in our family, to our family, and then with our church. Um, there was a time in my life when, as a teenager, I was just aching to like, you know, go out and evangelize and tell everybody about Jesus. And I was, I was talking to my mom about this. And one, one thing, encouragement that she gave me was this. Um, it's from Galatians, but it says, "As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good to all people, but especially to those who are of the household of faith." And she wasn't taking away from my desire to go and tell people about Jesus, but she was encouraging me, "Okay, let's make sure that we're actually, you know, taking care of and investing in the people in the church around us."
Um, hospitality can look like, you know, a quill and for sillo. They host a church. Um, it can look like hosting meals, providing food. Mary and Martha did that. And we see the pitfalls there of Martha and becoming overburdened. Um, Peter's mother-in-law.
Um, and then even Jesus, um, he served his disciples food at the Sea of Tiberias. I, I just love that picture. And, you know, the disciples come in from fishing and he had prepared fish for them on a fire and he uttered the words, "Come and dine." Um, and it's just this, this, uh, welcome, this hospitality that Jesus showed, um, to people. And I think there's also this thing, that interesting thing about hospitality that it's, it hurts sometimes. And it should, in some ways, it should, we should be willing to extend ourselves. Um, there was a time also when I was a very young teenager, but my parents made the decision to host, um, well, there was, there were, um, some young, uh, men, my brother's friends, who needed a place, um, for about a week.
And we lived in an old farmhouse with three bedrooms and one bathroom that had a shower and, um, one half bath. And so my parents made the decision that we would host them. And so there were eight in my family plus these nine young people, um, in this house and me and three of my siblings, we slept on the floor in my parents' room. And, um, we all used one shower. And it wasn't, it certainly wasn't the most comfortable, but I look back at that as a, a way that I saw my parents offer hospitality, um, to other people. Um, and honestly, the best witness that we have to the world is our love for each other, each other.
And then very quickly, just the, the last, our roles and responsibilities in regard to the world. And here again, evangelism is not just the work of men. And for me, evangelism often looks like something that we've talked about before, which is our dinner table, food, serving people with food. Um, I think Jesus did this with Zacchaeus. You know, he, um, invited himself to Zacchaeus' house and ate with him. And it's one of the things that the Pharisees hated about Jesus is that he ate with, um, quote unquote, unworthy people. Um, there was a man who said that the most effective evangelism tool you will ever have is your dining room table. Um, and I love that because it's, it's something that we all do.
We all eat. We all have, you know, tables. And so we can invite other people, um, into that. One thing that we've tried to emphasize in our community is that before you invite people to church, actually invite them to your house. Um, versus sometimes people just get a little feel shy and awkward about going to a church service, but they would come to your house and eat a meal with you. And that can be a great way to, um, to care for people. And, um, also sometimes evangelism means just supporting our, our husbands, for those of us who are wives, supporting our husbands in providing food or whatever, supporting our husband in his evangelism efforts.
Um, and then a couple of things, what keep, I think there are some things that keep us from evangelism. I think sometimes it feels uncomfortable and awkward. Um, and here again, I look at something that my mom did. It's the church I grew up. We did Thanksgiving baskets and we would go and pass them out to neighbors. And my mom made us come with her. We were not always, there were some houses that we were very excited to go to and other houses that had, you know, so many pets. They smelled terrible. Um, and almost to the point that it felt like you couldn't breathe, you know. But my mom, we would go in there.
We would sit, you know, on their couches and we took our time with them. And we were not in a rush. This usually was an all-day event going around to these different houses and dropping off things. I did not enjoy it at the moment, but I look back at that now and I'm just so grateful that she, she gave that to us. Um, it requires sacrifice. And then the other thing about evangelism is I think maybe sometimes it doesn't need to feel so awkward. Um, John Mark Comer, he says it well, he says, "We're witnesses, not salespeople. Our job is not to close the deal with the right technique, but simply to bear witness of our life with Jesus."
And if we think about evangelism as simply sharing what Jesus is doing in our lives, it becomes much less, um, intimidating. And then this one, this one's kind of hard for me to share. It's another barrier, um, to evangelism or reason maybe why people, myself included, sometimes don't want to do it. And that is that it takes away from family time. Um, Francis Chan has stated, "We have made happy families our mission." He goes on to say, "This is not the mission that Jesus gave us, but we try to justify this idolizing of marriage because it is what we want." Now, please hear me out. It's not me. I'm not here saying that, you know, we should neglect our children and our families and all of that.
Um, but just remember this is ordered priorities. Um, and it's an amazing thing to be able to invite our children to see what this looks like and to do it with them. Um, and one more encouragement to unmarried women in this, in this regard in evangelism. There was a young unbelieving lady who spent some time in our community. And every one of us women would have loved to spend more time with her, being her friend, showing her the way of God. But guess what? We didn't have, many of us didn't have the time. And the two people, there were, there were many more, but there were two people in particular that spent hours of time with her.
And that was the unmarried women in, they had the bandwidth. And I think it had a powerful impact on her life. Um, before she moved away, there was a going away party, not for her, but for someone else. And, um, there was a time of prayer for these people. And she, um, she prayed. And the opening of her prayer was something like, "I've never really prayed to you before, but," and then she went on to pray a prayer of blessing on the people that were, um, leaving. And that was a really powerful moment that I don't think would have happened without the, the single women who had invested in her. So in conclusion, there's, there are I think two ditches that I think we can fall into with a talk like this, after hearing a talk like this.
And I've spent time in both. Um, but that is, and we can try to play God by trying to do everything. You can hear, "Oh, I need to pray more. I need to do all these things." But guess what? At the end of the day, I cannot care for every need in the church. I cannot disciple every woman that needs to be discipled. I cannot reach out to all the unbelievers and needy people I know. I cannot even always pray for all the needs I know. So that's, you know, we need to realize we are not God. Um, we can only do what we can.
The other ditch is that we can do too little and become lazy. We can always just think about ourselves and our needs and our wishes and desires. Um, Charles Spurgeon has a really great quote that he says, "We must always be at it until we wear ourselves out, throwing our whole soul into the work in all weathers for Christ's sake." And then I'll just end with this one, one more quote. I like quotes.
Um, but there's this one more, one more quote from Mother Teresa. And I think it really sums up a lot of this. And it's, she says, "What you do, I cannot do. And what I can do, you cannot do. But all of us together are doing something beautiful for God. What we do is less than a drop in the ocean. But if that drop were missing, the ocean would lack something."
That's all I have to bring. Well, thank you very much, ladies. That was so beautiful and so rich. And I think well rounded with the two of you, what you came up with to share. God bless you for investing like you did.
Really appreciated the scripture that you shared and really appreciated too just the, the foundational, um, teachings that you started with. So that was such a blessing.
I really, um, appreciated your point. Uh, I believe it was Alyssa that you shared about the Holy Spirit moments. I, I loved, I loved how you verbalized that. And I think that that is one of the greatest secrets in this, um, subject is, is our rootedness in Christ and our, our, um, availability and our, um, our, our listening for those moments that, that they truly do flow out of our lives and off the ends of our hands and, and off of our lips when, when we are attentive to the Holy Spirit.
And no one can plan them in such a way and with such effectiveness as he can.
So what are your questions and comments, ladies, after this time? I have one comment here in the chat box. It says, "Thanks for your talks. I really appreciated the emphasis on serving by praying for others. I've been so blessed when others have prayed for me. It challenges me to do the same for others. As a single person, it's sometimes a challenge to know how to serve."
And a side note, sometimes we're just as busy as young moms and don't have a lot of time to go out and serve. Prayer is one thing we all can do. Thank you for what you both of you shared.
I was really encouraged by some of the things that you shared. Uh, the Alyssa, you talked about encouragement. We all need each other. Some of us feel that need more than others, but we all do have that need. And we also have, uh, we each have a special way to reach out to everyone in our church, um, that no one else can fill that if, if we don't. Um, so thank you for that. Um, yeah, and Crystal, I loved how you talked about discipleship and, and hospitality. And yet being real with that too, that it's really hard whenever you're in a stage with a lot of small children. So Alyssa, maybe Crystal talked about this a little bit already, but maybe I'll point this question at you.
And that is, what are some practical ways that you have included your children in doing things? Um, I know that, yeah, we've lived in, in a more of an urban setting since we got married, but I've, I think I've tended to let that hold me back from doing certain things because I'm afraid if I take my little children along, they'll break something at someone's house or whatever. And I know that there's, there's different seasons for different types of, of work that you can do. But what are some practical ways that you have worked this out with your family?
Um, well, I think hosting, I think is one of them for sure. Another one is, is I've already mentioned this, but prayer. There's been, you know, just recently there was a couple, um, the husband has cancer and they have two little children and he went over to Germany for a while. And my children, like I pulled them into prayer and we prayed and prayed and prayed for this couple. And, and they were invested and interested. They were like, "How's this person doing?" And I'm like, "Yeah, let's check it." Or like, you know, I'll read them the updates.
Um, pulling them into prayer and then also letting them see unanswered or not unanswered, letting them see answered prayers, I think is huge. Um, another thing we've done is we've done this a couple of years where we'll like put together, uh, well, last year we made a bunch of breakfast burritos and we, um, some care packets and we went downtown on Christmas Day. It's very cold and we had hot breakfast burritos in the cooler and we passed them out to, to people and they get excited and they like to do that. And that's something they can do and they're not going to break anything. You know, there are contexts where you can pull your children in and serve together.
And, and they like it and they enjoy it. And you can see their faces light up when you like give, you know, an answered prayer update. And they're like, "Wow, that's amazing." So, but just a couple of things off the top of my head.
Thank you for that. And Crystal, if you had anything you wanted to add to that, you can as well. No, I, I love it. I, I do think that's, yeah, what Alyssa mentioned about bringing your children into prayer is a huge, um, it for me it was even such a mindset switch in, you know, in the morning if I do have a child who wakes up, you know, earlier, bringing them in, um, and praying with them, letting them, you know, getting them to pray or also even, you know, just inviting them into that time, I think can be a really beautiful way of including your children. Mm-hmm.
Thank you. Hi. Thank you so much, Crystal and Alyssa. That was a really great talk. Um, Alyssa, I love how you talk so much about prayer and especially persistent prayer with the, um, the example of the, um, persistent widow. Um, this is something that I am learning right now, actually, um, from a very unfortunate thing that happened to someone that we were trying to, um, work with. But you pray for him or, you know, someone and you feel like maybe, okay, I prayed or I prayed today, but yet there's this spiritual warfare that's going on that we're not really aware of because we don't really see it. Um, but it's there. And this idea of persistent prayer is so important.
Um, and it's just, it's neat how when you're starting to learn something, God brings that up into different areas. And now you've brought that up today. Yeah. Um, so thank you for that. It is so, yeah, it's so important. Um, and it seems like such a cliché thing to say is that prayer is powerful, but it is, it's the best thing that we can do is pray. If we can't, you know, it's not the least that we could do, it's the most that we can do. Amen. Um, so thank you so much for that.
Um, and, um, Crystal, I have a question about when you were talking about when you're hustling and you're trying to get your children out the door and you feel frustrated and then, you know, your neighbor comes along and, "Oh, hi." And, um, I can relate to that very much. And it's something that I'm growing in, but have to learn more. And anyway, I was just wondering if you have any suggestions on how God has been showing you to, to not react that way with your children. Like what, what are you doing so that you are calm in those situations?
Yes, this is something that very much, um, I've felt and even I felt particularly this way in the last few weeks. It felt like it was such a, a battle to, you know, and it's a funny thing because we tell our children, we try to teach our children that they're supposed to keep their emotions in check. You know, just because you're angry doesn't mean you get to hit your brother. And yet I make excuses for myself when I feel, you know, frustrated or angry or things like that. Um, one thing that I've just been, I mean, it's, uh, it sounds kind of, you know, just praying in the moment. And, you know, there's, it, it feels, and it's, it's something that it's becoming more, you know, habitual.
You know, the more you do things, the more it like kind of gets that into your brain that you do it, you know, in the future. But just, you know, I can, I can tell when I, when I'm starting to get like a little, like, um, you know, tight and frustrated and, you know, and I, I can feel when I'm coming, you know, to that, to that point. And so just being like, okay, and just take, you know, praying. And then another thing that I've been thinking about a lot is not just praying, "Oh, like take these feelings or I don't take this anger or this feeling away from me," but just like transform me.
I want to be a person that is, um, not just doesn't do the bad, you know, like outwardly do the, the, the things, um, but that my inward person is actually transformed as well. Um, yeah, I, that's honestly, it's, and then another thing that I've tried to do, and this is kind of, um, there's a song, "I will bless the Lord at all times."
And that's something that I've even told my oldest son, you know, four years old is that, you know, when we start, when things are starting to go a little crazy, like, let's sing this song together, you know, "I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise will continually be in my mouth," you know. Um, and even just like, I think actually kids and he, like I said, my oldest is only four. So I think that this will even grow maybe in capability as they grow older. But getting your children to help keep you accountable is very humbling and actually can be a really, um, I've noticed it even with apologizing to my children when I do feel frustrated or I let frustration creep into my tone or my voice or whatever.
Um, you know, asking their forgiveness. And I've noticed in myself that it's actually a lot harder for me now. It's a lot easier to apologize to a two-year-old that's like, "Okay, yeah, that's, you know, that's fine." And move on with the life. You know, my four-year-old is more like, "Yeah, mama, why did you do that?"
And, and you know, um, so almost inviting your children in to be like, "Can you, you know, you're, I give you permission." Um, and I don't know, maybe that wouldn't work in all situations and dynamics, but something that's been interesting, um, for me.
Thank you. Yeah, I love the idea of just praying, "Transform me in the moment." That's a really good thing to say. Um, and the, the idea of singing, I like the singing. I sometimes, you know, praise when you start to feel anxious and uptight, you know, remember to be grateful. What am I grateful for? Well, that I am home with my children and I'm not off working somewhere, but the singing, I love that. And that song is such a great song and my children know it. And so I think that's something I need to implement in my house. Thank you.
I'm thinking a little bit about your comments. I believe it was Crystal about your bi-weekly Crystal Formity meetings that you mentioned and how you have a list of questions that you go over in that. Um, I don't know if any of them questions come to your mind that you want to share or, or if you want to share a little more about what those meetings look like.
Um, that'd be very interesting. You know, whatever you feel comfortable sharing or what comes to your mind. Well, we've, yeah, we've done it often enough that I'm sure between Alyssa and I, we can remember the questions. At least there are two sets of questions that we kind of alternate, but there's one that we use more often. Um, I think the first one is, "Have you spent daily time in scriptures and in prayer? Are you enjoying prayer?"
Um, the second one is, "Have you been spending your free time?" Yeah, "Have you been spending your free time?" We've been spending too much time on social media or your phone. Or your phone. Um, "What have you worried about this week?" Um, "What temptations have you faced? Are you struggling with sexual sin?" Um, the fifth one is, "Wives, have you been submitting to your husbands?" Um, "In what ways have you been loving your children?" Yes. And then we've also, or yeah, and then the sixth one, "Are you harboring resentment, anger?" There's kind of a list of things toward anyone inside or outside the church. And then the last one is, "Have you shared Christ with anyone or have you been on, on mission?"
Um, in, you know, the last week or two. Um, so yeah, we, I mean, we generally, like I said, we meet at six o'clock in the morning. Um, and one person, I mean, we rotate who's leading out. Um, and we meet at several different places. Not everybody is able to host in their home, but there's always a place. Um, there's a single sister in the church who, um, she often will host for people or even we have a, um, a space here. Um, we just, yeah, we just share about our lives and we give each other feedback and all of that. And then, and in, and in prayer. I would say like we usually don't go through all the questions every time.
Like we kind of, like sometimes we'll start at the beginning or sometimes we'll start in the middle and just kind of take time so that we can ask questions. And because we don't want to try to just boom, boom, get all through all the questions. We want people to be able to share what they're feeling. And if we need to push in further, we'll push in further. And then the other thing, I feel like the other list of questions, I don't remember what they all are, but I feel like sometimes questions like these, if it's designed to pull out all of the negative areas that you feel like you're struggling with. And so there's kind of like the other side where sometimes we'll like say, "Where has God been working in your life?
And what are you thankful for?" You know, like what are the positive things that you're seeing in your life too? So it's like accountability and then the flip side of the way that God is working in our lives.
Yeah.
Thank you. That's beautiful. Those are some real questions. Those are intentional questions. They are intentional questions. And they're good. They're, they're good for us. And it's good to be able to talk about them and pray for each other in those areas.
Yeah. God bless you for that. Anyone else?
I was just listening to a message today and there's a little quote out of that message that I want to share here. Just to sort of wrap this up. I don't want to cut anyone off. So after I share this, if you have something, feel free yet.
But just thinking about, um, the vital role that women play and God's overarching plan, I just thought this was so beautiful. The God who started in a garden, who moved to a temple, and then to a person, Jesus, is now choosing to make his presence and his purpose known in people like us. Mm-hmm. It's why we were made to extend the borders of Eden, to extend his kingdom.
I mean, that's beautiful. It is. I think we'll bring the question and answer session to a close here. And thank you all for being part of this talk this afternoon. And thank you to our speakers for their investment. I would like to share with you now our upcoming talks.
We have a bonus talk here in November, November 22, a hope-filled conversation on addictions by Janelle Glick and Karen Peachy. So we invite you to join us for a bonus talk.
And then in December, on December 6th, we have two book reviews, uh, by their authors, New Books for Faithful Living by Regina Rosenberry. She writes Every Girl's Journey. And Gina Martin writes She Shall Be Praised. And I don't know if you all are aware of this, but Strength of Strength has, um, a place where you can purchase this book, She Shall Be Praised. So if you're interested in buying that, maybe you want to wait till you hear the review and maybe not. I know that it's available there already. So feel free to check that out at Strength of Strength Books.
All right.
Crystal, if you could, um, lead us in prayer to close this time, that would be wonderful. Thank you. Of course.
Father in heaven, I thank you for this day. I thank you for all the women who have listened in on this talk. Father, I thank you for their personal lives, the, the outreach, um, and all the ways that their lives spread into other lives. And Lord, we want to build your kingdom. We want to see your kingdom come to this earth in, in our own lives, in our family's lives. We pray that you would make us faithful, that you would make us, um, you would conform us to your image, that we would be made like your son, Jesus. I pray that we would fulfill our roles as women in the church, that we would not step back and, um, but that we would know that you have given us roles to play.
We, um, are a part of your church and we long to do your work. We long to spread your kingdom. So I pray you would just help us in that. I pray that you would bless each person in their individual lives, in the struggles and the fears and in the things that they're facing. I pray you would give wisdom and, um, guidance and direction. I pray that your Holy Spirit would show us the things that we should, um, bring into our lives and the things that we should, um, and how we can just serve your, your kingdom to the best of our ability in all that we do and all that we say in the ways that we serve.
But I pray that you would be praised, that your name would be praised, that you would be glorified and honored through all of our lives and that, um, we would glorify you with all of our days. In Jesus' name, amen.
Amen.
All right, ladies, thank you for joining. Have a wonderful evening. Thank you. You too. Thank you.
Walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing him, being fruitful in every good work.