Discussion Questions

David lists specific wounds ex-JWs commonly experience (slander as “apostate,” spiritual abuse, mishandled sexual abuse, and shunning); which of these has most shaped your view of God’s heart, and how does his command to forgive confront the way you’ve interpreted that pain? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Of the hurts David lists (being called an “apostate,” spiritual abuse, mishandled sexual abuse, shunning), which one has most shaped how you see God? How does Jesus’ command to forgive challenge how you understand that pain?

David argues that Watchtower’s use of 2 John to justify shunning is misapplied because John is addressing those who deny Jesus came in the flesh (Gnostics); if early Christians limited that text the way David claims, what would their approach to separation, discipline, and hospitality have looked like compared to modern JW shunning? JumpstartAnother way to ask: If 2 John was only meant for people who deny Jesus came in the flesh, how would early Christians have handled separation, discipline, and hospitality? How would that be different from modern JW shunning?

In the Francis of Assisi story, the “best friend” is the person who repays good with evil because that enemy becomes an opportunity for eternal reward; what does that assumption reveal about God’s priorities and the economy of the kingdom, and what parts of it sound offensive or transactional to modern ears? JumpstartAnother way to ask: In the Francis of Assisi story, why would an enemy be called your “best friend” because they bring reward? What does that say about what God values, and what feels offensive or like a “deal” to people today?

David says the test of a true Christian is not how we treat friends but enemies (Matthew 5:43–46); in practical terms, what behaviors would prove someone is “a son of your Father” when the enemy is a former religious community rather than an outside persecutor? JumpstartAnother way to ask: If the real test is how you treat enemies, what would it look like to treat a former religious community like a child of the Father would? What actions would prove it in daily life?

David describes a shift from wanting to “get even” to smiling at slander and intentionally returning good for evil (“thanks for being my best friend”); what would returning good for evil look like in your context without becoming denial, enabling, or pretending the wrong wasn’t real? JumpstartAnother way to ask: What would “returning good for evil” look like in your situation with JWs or Watchtower? How could you do it without excusing the harm or letting it keep happening?

Using Paul’s love for the Jews (Romans 9:1–3), David holds up a level of forgiveness that includes grief, intercession, and willingness to suffer for the offender; what does Paul’s posture suggest about God’s love for persecutors, and where do you feel internal resistance to praying with that kind of costly empathy? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Paul grieved for his persecutors and prayed for them (Romans 9:1–3). What does that show about God’s love for people who hurt others, and where do you resist praying for them like that?

David distinguishes between forgiving and “speaking out,” saying the deciding issue is motive (animosity vs love of truth and compassion); when you talk about Watchtower—online, with family, or in church—what signs reveal whether your speech is driven by revenge, and what would it sound like if it were driven by compassion for those still inside? JumpstartAnother way to ask: When you speak about Watchtower (online, with family, or at church), what clues show whether you’re driven by revenge? What would it sound like if you spoke from compassion for people still inside?

David gives concrete “manifestations” of forgiveness: no animosity, praying by name for elders and even the governing body, attempting kindness even when gifts are returned “in a rather nasty fashion,” and being scrupulously fair by correcting false accusations against JWs; which of these practices feels most impossible for you, and what does that expose about what you still want (justice, vindication, control, safety, acknowledgment)? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Which forgiveness practice feels hardest: dropping animosity, praying by name for leaders, being kind when it’s rejected, or correcting unfair claims about JWs? What does that show you still want most (justice, to be proven right, control, safety, or to be heard)?

David insists forgiveness is “not optional” and ties it directly to God forgiving us (Lord’s Prayer; Matthew 6:14–15; Matthew 18:21–35), even saying self-interest is enough motive; how does that conditional warning challenge common evangelical instincts about assurance and grace, and what do you do with Jesus’ threat that the unforgiving will be treated like the “wicked slave”? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Jesus links God forgiving us to us forgiving others (Matthew 6:14–15; 18:21–35). How does that warning challenge how you think about grace and being sure you’re saved, and what do you do with Jesus’ threat about the unforgiving “wicked slave”?

David reframes Watchtower’s wrongs as “a tiny debt in God’s eyes” compared to our sin-debt, then calls ex-JWs not to be “stumbled” into abandoning God or rejecting all organized religion (Matthew 13:20–21); what parts of that reframing feel truthful, what parts feel like they minimize trauma, and how can a group pursue forgiveness while still pursuing truth, protection of the vulnerable, and accountability? JumpstartAnother way to ask: David says Watchtower’s wrongs are a “tiny debt” compared to our sin-debt and warns people not to give up on God or all organized religion. What feels true about that, what feels like it downplays trauma, and how can a group forgive while still seeking truth, safety, and accountability?