I Left the US Army as a Conscientious Objector - Tania Taylor

They always told us, "You're a soldier first. Never forget it." So we put the flutes and tubas down, and we were sent to Ramstein Air Base to ship missiles to Iraq. But at that time, we four who were considering becoming conscientious objectors, we were just like, "We can't ship missiles to Iraq until we determine whether this is actually okay or not." And let's see, I believe at that time we would have already initiated the request, um, to become conscientious objectors. So we submitted a form and were able to, you know, initiate that process, which took eight long months, or maybe it was nine, eight or nine long months. Yeah. So. So what did you do?

Like, but during that process, did you still have to, to perform duties like packaging up missiles that would be used, you know, in a manner that obviously you're, you're running into convictions that says, "I can't do that." Right. Yeah. Luckily, in our country, we do provide an out for people with a crisis of conscience. Now, if they would have determined in all of their investigation, you know, they, you have a court hearing, you go to a psychologist or psychiatrist, I forget, you know, and you know, you have your friends who are called to witness about your life. Um, let's see, you write a long paper and it's all sent to the Pentagon. If looking through all of that file, they would have determined I had enlisted fraudulently.

I would have been, I probably might have gone to jail, you know. So there, but if you do have a sincere crisis of conscience, there is provision for a person in that, but they do have to follow the protocol to determine whether you're sincere.

And so luckily we had a wonderful counselor, um, who was able to help us with that. His name was Andre Gingrich Stoner, and he and his wife were stationed there by, uh, Mennonite Central Committee, I believe. And they were there for people like us. And we, my husband sent a letter to Herald Press, who sent a letter to, that somehow got to one place to another until they put us in contact with him and his wife, Kathy. And they were very helpful in helping us know the, the, what the regulations are, what the laws are surrounding conscientious objector status. And particularly in that in-between time where you feel very vulnerable. Well, yeah, like, well, and that's where I want to drill into this a little bit, where, you know, what you were describing before, like, it wasn't like you were having a terrible time.

I mean, you're, you know, you're doing what you enjoy. You have friends. This is your world. It's part of your life. And I would also say, and I'm sure we'll see this in the comments, you know, and whatever. People will probably be like, "Oh my, like, come on, you were in the army band, like big deal. Just, just finish through with your enlistment and just leave like that. Why did you go through the CO process? And why make a big to do over this? It's really not a big deal. It's not like they were asking you to go kill people." Because, I mean, at the core of it, that's the big question. Where Jesus says, "You have to love your enemy."

Well, you can't love someone if you shoot them, right? Yeah, absolutely. So talk to me about that. Like, your convictions must have been pretty serious to say, "No, we're still going to go through with this process." Like, why? Yeah. Why rock the boat? I think there was something inside of my husband in particular that helped keep us strong that it's either right or wrong. There's no middle ground. If Jesus says, "Don't kill," something is very wrong on one side or the other. That's just like, you know, and incidentally, soon after we were released as conscientious objectors, our unit was shipped to Iraq. So we went from shipping missiles to, I don't know what they did there, but it's all part of the support effort for the war.

And I was so thankful I didn't have to participate in that bloodshed, which, you know, again, maybe not everyone's going to see that, but with the, you know, seeing what Jesus has shown me, you know, it was something I needed to be faithful and just, and again, my husband helped us, I think.

And having the other couple there, Don and Rick Shirley, that just strengthened us to have, you know, fellow people with us saying, "No, we, we need to stand strong. We need to be willing to go to jail for this." Because, yeah, there's no middle ground. It's either right or it's wrong. And so. And so you would have come to the position that being part of the U.S. military industrial complex, whatever you want to call it, um, in any way, would have been considered, I, I just, I can't do that. Even though your role wasn't a combat role, at least. Yeah, exactly. At least when you started the paperwork. Yeah. At least when you started the paperwork, now maybe that would have changed later.

Um, am I getting that about right? Well, and here's the thing. It's like, I realize there might be other people out there who don't agree with non-Jesus's teachings or whatever, but if you are someone who does see that, I would find everything in my power to both be a law-abiding citizen, but hopefully not have to help in the war effort, maybe help as a medic. Like, I, I do want to show that we're also being willing to lay our lives down and serve our time where maybe we're asked, maybe we're needed, you know, for our draft or whatever as Christians, but to do the most we can to say, "I'm opposed to the bloodshed." And, you know, Jesus says not to kill.

I'd be willing to die for my faith. And, but I also want to, the best of my ability, you know, also be willing to, you know, do my time, so to speak, or in some other support role. So it's like, yeah, I don't want to have to support the greater killing institution. You know, I feel like I'm of a different kingdom, but I think there's something about being respectful and being willing to serve our time as Anabaptists, not to just sit back and enjoy the liberties without ever, it ever costing us anything. And.

I think that is an important piece because it, you know, we, I've heard different friends and people say, "Well, it's really easy for you to sit here in your comfortable, safe country and criticize the military." And I could never be a part of it, you know. Right. Yeah. And, and, and to, to an extent, I, I do see what they're saying. Yeah. Um, but I think what your, your point there is also really important. Like there, there are other ways we can serve, um, our communities, the people around us, um, that are obviously not part of the, uh, the, you know, war, things like that. Absolutely. Absolutely. I think that's an important piece. And so that would have been some of what you all were wrestling with as well, right?

We're trying to figure our way through on that. Like, yeah, what's the right way to be respectful? Mm-hmm. And, you know, show, you know, good conscience, but also, yeah, know that we have to serve Christ first. And, yeah, and he has a better way.

And you, and you came to the, to the, to the belief that Christ would not have packaged missiles for Iraq to be used against other humans, basically. Absolutely. To get it really real and like to your specific situation. Absolutely. My husband always says, "Jesus gave us what he feels is the blueprint for humanity." Like it's just a great plan. Like it promotes life. It values every human being. It doesn't need to be on the shifting stands of politics or, or greed or, um, or lines in the sand. Like we're all, you know, human and having to be divided by cultures or nationalities is sad. Like. So you go through the CO, uh, process, conscientious objector process, which I, I want to put in a side in here and say it's, it's pretty phenomenal that the American government allows for that.

It really is. You know, it used to not, by the way. Like during World War I, there was a lot of Mennonites, Amish, things like that. It got called up in the draft and what, you know, well, we can't kill. Like, it's against, well, there was no provision for that. I mean, they were horribly treated in many cases. And then when World War II came, that a lot of that changed, which I think we can all be very thankful for that. You know, you. It's part of why my dad was so grateful for some things we have in America that it really are, uh, a great blessing. So you go through that process. Yeah. I mean, apparently they accepted your papers and let you go.

In fact, all four of us, and my husband always tells the story because it was an amazing story, but though, so like the man who had done our court trial, he finally shows up at the band hall and we're called up to a small little office and, you know, we come and come to attention and salute and he puts us at ease and, um, which is a military, you know, like he relaxed and, and, um, we saw the form in the envelope sitting on the desk and, and he says, "Well, I have the results of your conscientious objector, um, appeals or whatever. Um, but before I tell you the results, I'd just like to give you one more chance to, you know, you guys are, you're good kids."

Like basically, I don't know if he called us, "You're good soldiers. Um, everyone's spoken well of you. You're, you're really appreciated here. It's, it's not too late. You know, you can just, we can just sort of pretend this never happened. We'll just put these away and you can just go on doing what you love doing and no one's going to worry about it. I just want to give you that offer." And we all just sort of looked at each other and Dean spoke for all of us and said, "No, sir, we feel very strongly regardless of the consequences that we need to proceed. But thank you." You know, so then he let us know, "Well, I'll let you know you've all been approved for conscientious objector status with honorable discharges," which, you know, we were just so elated and relieved.

But then he let us know, he's like, "But wait," he's like, "there's something I need to tell you." He's sort of like whispering and he said, "I do now. I'm leaving the army for the very same reasons." And we're like, "Wow." Like we just wanted to sit there and talk for hours, but the meeting ended and, you know, he had to let us go. He was probably, I don't want, I wonder if he was nervous about letting us know he agreed with us and that he was doing the same thing we were doing. And yeah, it was one of those moments of just, "Wow, Lord, this is amazing." Okay. I have to ask, where did he end up?

Like, how does that story end? We went to try and find him one day because we knew just what base he was living on, but we couldn't find him. I, I don't even remember. I'm sure the name is in the file. I could go back and look at the file. You could try to pull your file, your military file and track him. It would be so amazing. Yeah. Well, maybe he's listening to this and you can, you know, send us an email or something.

I would love to know how, like, what changed his mind? Like what, what, you know, where, where was his story? You know, what happened? I would love, love to know that story. Uh, so that was just like a, such a, just a gift from God to encourage us that not only are you not weird, you're not alone. And, um, you know, and we don't know, did he already have this something in his heart before he spoke with us? Or did this happen after hearing each four of our testimony? He was the one who tried us in court. You know, he's the one that heard all the witnesses.

Um, like, you know, so yeah, I just, I would love to know that story someday, Lord willing, maybe.