Discussion Questions

Anita says Josh’s comment (“you’re a lady in grief… I would wish for you that you would have another woman walking with you”) “woke [her] up to the riches” she already had—what does that moment reveal about how God often meets needs (through noticing, naming, and community rather than instant fixes), and how might that challenge the way you interpret your own pain or transition seasons? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Anita says Josh’s words helped her see the “riches” she already had. What does this show about how God often helps us through people and community, not quick fixes, and how might that change how you see your own pain or life changes?

Anita claims, “No parent is enough for their children. That’s what the community is for. That’s what the body is for.”—how do you think early Christians would have assumed this plays out in daily church life, and where do modern family-centered Christian cultures subtly resist this assumption? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Anita says parents aren’t enough and we need the church community. How do you think the early church lived this out day to day, and how do Christian families today sometimes push back against needing others?

“We don’t really get a choice… we don’t get to choose how we influence people and who follows us.”—what specific ways do you see women unintentionally discipling others in your setting, and what uncomfortable implications does this have for “private” habits, speech, entertainment, and friendships? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Anita says we don’t get to choose whether we influence people. What are some ways women in your setting “disciple” others without meaning to, and what does that mean for so-called private habits like what you watch, say, and who you spend time with?

Anita pushes back on passivity: “We don’t just sit and be passive… we don’t get to opt out of being fully engaged, working with God beside Him.”—where do evangelical instincts about grace and “God will change me” become an excuse not to cooperate, and what would repentance look like in the way you use your time and relationships? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Where do ideas like “God will change me” become an excuse to not take action? What would real repentance look like in how you use your time and treat your relationships?

Anita refuses a strict sacred/secular divide (“I don’t want to make a strict line… but I also want us to not always be talking about pie”)—what kinds of “safe” conversation topics dominate your women-to-women interactions, and what fears (or false humility) keep you from asking about someone’s trust in God, loneliness, or suffering? JumpstartAnother way to ask: What “safe” topics fill most women-to-women conversations in your circles? What fears or false humility keep you from asking about deeper things like trusting God, loneliness, or suffering?

When Anita describes roots as being teachable and curious, she says nobody “ages out” of asking questions—what does this reveal about God’s design for lifelong dependence, and how would a first-century church have practiced this across ages and stages compared to modern “self-sufficient” adulthood? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Anita says no one is too old to keep asking questions and staying teachable. What does that say about needing God for your whole life, and how might the first-century church have helped people do this across ages more than our “be independent” culture does?

Anita’s mentor asked, “Why did you wait so long?” after three weeks—what beliefs about neediness, burdening others, or “being strong” keep you from knocking on someone’s door sooner, and how might those beliefs actually hinder Christlike community? JumpstartAnother way to ask: When Anita waited three weeks, her mentor asked, “Why did you wait so long?” What beliefs about being “strong,” not being needy, or not bothering others keep you from reaching out sooner, and how do those beliefs hurt real Christian community?

In the “trunk” section Anita argues presence is shaping (eye contact, resisting distractions, listening without hijacking the moment with your own story)—what does this expose about how often we use “ministry” to feel important, and how would your listening change if your goal was simply to be steady rather than impressive? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Anita says being present means eye contact, fewer distractions, and listening without making it about you. How can “ministry” become a way to feel important, and how would you listen differently if your goal was to be steady instead of impressive?

Anita says mentoring fruit must be “for the other person’s sake and not for our own,” and warns against becoming someone’s hero—when you feel drained or despondent after helping, what signs suggest you are trying to be the shepherd, and what would it look like to “carry but not own” another person’s burden? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Anita says mentoring should be for the other person, not to make you feel like a hero. When you feel drained after helping, what might show you’re trying to be the shepherd, and what would it look like to help carry someone’s burden without taking it over?

Anita’s picture of accompaniment ends with placing the friend’s hand into Jesus’ hand, and she says sometimes all you can offer is “You have a good shepherd” (not trite, but from lived confidence)—what would have to be true about your own “root system” for those simple words to carry weight, and how could your group cultivate women who actually speak that way because they know the Shepherd? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Anita says real help may be as simple as saying, “You have a good shepherd,” and meaning it. What needs to be true in your own life with Jesus for those words to feel real, and how can your group help women grow into people who can say that with confidence?