Discussion Jumpstarter

Study leader reference - not a definitive answer

Question 3

“We don’t really get a choice… we don’t get to choose how we influence people and who follows us.”—what specific ways do you see women unintentionally discipling others in your setting, and what uncomfortable implications does this have for “private” habits, speech, entertainment, and friendships?

Another way to ask: Anita says we don’t get to choose whether we influence people. What are some ways women in your setting “disciple” others without meaning to, and what does that mean for so-called private habits like what you watch, say, and who you spend time with?

Discussion Jumpstarter

Direct Answer
Anita’s point is that women shape others whether they intend to or not, through everyday presence, conversation, and example—so “private” choices are never fully private because they spill into what others learn is normal. The uncomfortable implication is that our casual talk, what we pay attention to, and how we handle distress may be discipling others more than our formal advice ever does.

Support from Transcript:

Anita recalls resenting being told, “You’re the oldest… you need to be the good example,” but later says, “we don’t really get a choice in that.”
She applies it broadly: “As women, wherever we are… we don’t get to choose how we influence people and who follows us.”
She describes ordinary influence: “talk… comparing stories, chatting, swapping recipes.”
She urges channeling this into “life-giving, vibrant relationships” that produce Christlikeness.
In the “trunk” section, she shows influence happens through presence: eye contact, resisting distractions, steady listening.

Discussion Follow-ups What do younger women learn from what you consistently talk about and what you avoid? If someone copied your tone, entertainment choices, and friendships, what kind of “tree” would they become?

Jumpstarter 3 of 10