Discussion Questions
Christina describes the “pounding at the door” that stopped her from cutting her wrist, and she says, “I truly felt like that was God”; what kind of God is she claiming to have met in that moment—how does His intervention shape the way you interpret providence versus coincidence in your own life? JumpstartAnother way to ask: When Christina felt God “pounding at the door” to stop her from self-harm, what does that say about what God is like? How does that shape how you tell the difference between God’s guidance and “just a coincidence” in your own life?
She says the Sunday school message at age five (“you’re going to hell because you’re not saved”) became “the seed…for my conscience of right and wrong”; what does her story suggest about how God can use even flawed or fear-based preaching, and where should a church draw the line between awakening conscience and manipulating fear? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Her Sunday school teacher scared her with “you’re going to hell,” but she says it shaped her sense of right and wrong. Can God use even bad or fear-filled preaching, and where is the line between waking someone up and using fear to control them?
Christina repeatedly frames her life around realizing “I am not in control of my own life” (especially after the car wreck); how does that surrender challenge the modern Christian instinct to prioritize safety, planning, and self-determination, and what would it look like to actually live as if control is not yours? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Christina keeps saying, “I’m not in control,” especially after the car wreck. How does that challenge our desire for safety, planning, and control, and what would it look like to live like your life is truly in God’s hands?
She talks about being “called to love them no matter what,” even returning to see the woman who abused her because “Jesus loves them”; what does this reveal about God’s heart toward offenders, and how do we wrestle with that without minimizing justice, boundaries, or the reality of trauma? JumpstartAnother way to ask: She says she is called to love people who hurt her because Jesus loves them, even going back to see her abuser. What does that show about God’s love for offenders, and how do we hold that together with justice, clear boundaries, and real trauma?
Christina says she “always wanted to go towards the light” and felt strongly about being “set apart,” including modest dress and avoiding TV because of her father’s pornography; what do her motives expose about discipleship as a protective, separating way of life rather than a merely internal faith? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Christina wanted to be “set apart,” dressing modestly and avoiding TV because of her dad’s pornography. What does her story show about following Jesus as a protective, separate way of life and not just something you believe in your heart?
When she first visits the St. Thomas church and sees “everybody has something on their head,” she prays, “Oh no, Lord, you’re going to have to help me,” and then keeps going anyway; what does her choice to stay in an uncomfortable setting reveal about seeking truth over comfort, and where do you tend to quit when you feel socially out of place? JumpstartAnother way to ask: She felt uncomfortable at the St. Thomas church but stayed anyway. What does that say about choosing truth over comfort, and when do you usually quit because you feel awkward or don’t fit in?
She says the church didn’t force the cape dress or head covering, and that she saw “the beauty and modesty way before… the head covering,” taking about a year and wanting to know “why I was doing what I was doing”; what does her slow, reasons-based obedience suggest about early Christian catechesis and practice—learning to obey with understanding—compared to quick “decisions” common in evangelical culture? JumpstartAnother way to ask: She says no one forced the head covering, and she took about a year to understand why she was doing it. What does her slow, thoughtful obedience teach about learning the faith with understanding compared to quick “decisions” people often make?
In her head covering discussion, she lists Muslims, Jews, nuns, Pentecostals, then says, “it’s in the Bible clear as day in 1 Corinthians 11,” and her friend comments, “we should probably all have one”; how does this reasoning confront modern assumptions about “cultural” commands, and what would need to change in our Bible-reading habits to treat some neglected passages as “clear as day”? JumpstartAnother way to ask: She says head covering is “clear as day” in 1 Corinthians 11, not just a cultural thing. How does that challenge the way we dismiss hard Bible commands as “just cultural,” and what would need to change in how we read the Bible to take ignored passages seriously?
Christina recounts being accused by her Kansas church of “joining a cult” and being “under law,” and she says she lost many relationships; what does her experience force us to examine about how modern Christians use “grace” language to dismiss concrete obedience, and how do we discern the difference between life-giving discipline and legalism? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Her old church said she joined a cult and was “under law,” and she lost relationships. How does this make us question how Christians use “grace” to reject real obedience, and how can we tell the difference between healthy discipline and legalism?
Near the end she says staying in “victim mode” lets abusers keep controlling you, giving the example of refusing touch because of abuse, and that “letting that go…breaks control and you’re able to break the cycle”; how does this connect forgiveness, healing, and embodied community (like hugs) to the work of God, and what “walls and bubbles” might God be calling you to dismantle in order to actually live free? JumpstartAnother way to ask: She says staying in “victim mode” can let abusers keep controlling you, and letting go can help break the cycle, even in things like being able to accept a hug. How might God use forgiveness, healing, and close community to set someone free, and what walls might God be asking you to tear down?