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Intimacy with God  /  Chapter 12: Special Counsel to Women  /  Discussion Questions
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Question 10
The chapter insists marital happiness should be measured not by wealth or beauty but by moral excellence, and it frames the godly wife’s life goal as incurring God’s favor “whether it be necessary to die or to live”; what concrete changes would this require in how you evaluate success in marriage, manage conflict with a difficult spouse, and set daily priorities in the home?
Another way to ask: The chapter says a good marriage is measured by moral excellence, not money or looks, and that a godly wife aims to please God even if it means living or dying. What would need to change in how you define marriage success, handle conflict with a hard spouse, and set daily home priorities?

Direct Answer The transcript would require evaluating marriage by virtue and obedience rather than external status, handling conflict with persuasion and continued personal holiness, and ordering daily life around righteousness and God’s favor—even when costly. Success becomes moral excellence and faithfulness, not comfort.

Support from Transcript:

  • “The happiness of a marriage should never be measured by either wealth or beauty… [but] by moral excellence.”
  • The quoted saying contrasts externals with virtue: “Beauty helps no wife… but virtue has helped many… practice moderation.”
  • With a difficult husband, the wife should “remedy these annoyances by using good sense and persuasion,” not bitterness or retaliation.
  • If he “does not yield,” she must still “try to lead a sinless life to the extent humanly possible,” trusting “God is her helper.”
  • Daily priorities are framed as work: “consider sober-mindedness and righteousness as her work,” aiming to “incur the favor of God… whether it be necessary to die or to live.”
Discussion Follow-ups What would change this week if “moderation,” “sober-mindedness,” and pleasing God were the main metrics at home? How do we keep persuasion from becoming manipulation, and holiness from becoming self-righteousness?

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