Hi, I'm David Bercot, and tonight we're going to be talking about finding fellowship in the 21st century. You know, one of the main questions I've been asked ever since I started this journey many decades ago is, where do I find fellowship? Now, I wish I had an easy answer to the question of where to find fellowship, but there just isn't an easy answer.
You know, I was immediately faced with that same question myself when I first read the early Christian writings, and I realized, well, they believe differently than the church I go to. They practice things that we don't practice. That was nearly 30 years ago, and I've certainly learned a lot in these past 30 years concerning churches and fellowship, and I've definitely made a number of mistakes along the way.
But I can say I have learned a lot, not only from my experience and that of my family, but also observing others what they have done, feedback that so many of you have given me. And so there are a number of suggestions and insights I can pass on to you, but I can't answer the question of where you yourself should find fellowship, what church you should attend. But hopefully after listening to this message, at least you'll have some principles, some ideas, some structure to work from.
Let's begin with the starting point, and that is getting your own life in order. Now, I'm not trying to plug my own CD messages, but I would strongly encourage you to listen to two messages in particular. One is a message that I recorded this year, 2011, entitled" The Five Laws of Life in the Kingdom." The second one is a message I recorded, I don't know, 10 or 15 years ago entitled" On Being a Radical Christian." Those messages will help you to focus on what is important in the Christian life and what isn't.
They also point out the grave spiritual dangers that are out there and the traps that so many well-meaning, zealous Christians fall into. What I have seen so often over the past 30 years is that my readers and listeners, they want to focus on the more minor aspects and the outward aspects of the kingdom life while ignoring the most important things: love, mercy, justice, forgiveness, things like that. You know, it's very easy to change the outward overnight, practically.
But the inward, that's a much longer process. That's a much harder accomplishment, because it's not something you're going to do just because you make your mind up to do it. You can change outwardly purely in your own strength. But inwardly, you're not going to without the power of Christ. But so often, what happens to kingdom seekers? As I said, they focus on the lesser commandments. Perhaps the prime example would be the head covering.
The irony there is that just up until 40 years ago, you know from the time of Christ up until about 40 years ago, that would have hardly even been an issue. Because most women everywhere in the world wore some sort of covering on their head. Now, often it was purely cultural or was even decorative, but there would have been nothing particularly strange or odd about a woman wearing particularly like a scarf on her head. Today, coverings for both men and women have disappeared.
I remember when I was a boy, I mean, all the men I knew, they wore hats as part of their dress. As I think most of you know, I grew up a Jehovah's Witness, and I remember when we would go house to house, all of the men had, you know, some kind of nice dress, felt hat on their head. And I remember thinking, I can't wait till I'm, you know, 18 or 21 or something where it'll be appropriate for me to wear a hat.
Teenagers didn't normally wear those kind of hats, and so I was waiting for that that day myself, which really never came because had started disappearing about that time for men and as well for women. So just to even wear a scarf today makes a woman stand out. They're gonna wonder if you're Muslim or some sort of Anabaptist or something. And to wear, say, a white veil or something like that, you're really going to stand out in most areas. That is, most areas of the country.
Another example I can think of, a real-life incident, a man who got interested in my writings and then read a number of Mennonite books and literature. And he just announced to his wife one day. They were fairly newly married, I think, less than a year. They'd been married. He took off his wedding ring and said," Yeah, I'm not going to wear this anymore because the Bible says we shouldn't wear gold." And of course, that immediately caused a big uproar between he and his wife.
And it's the same with the head covering. If a husband and wife don't have the same conviction on this, it's going to have a major impact in the family. It's going to be an enormous issue. Or let's say maybe some form of entertainment giving up television or something like that, that these tend to be the things that people focus on, and all of them may be appropriate, some of them are definite commandments, but these are the big things in the Christian life.
These aren't the things that Jesus talks about that will keep you out of the kingdom of heaven. And yet the things that Jesus says will keep us out of the kingdom of heaven, I've noticed that people will ignore that, and they want to focus on these, like I say, external things, or on theological matters. Yeah, let's focus on all these doctrines, theological doctrines, that is, and argue with people, and debate with people.
You know, I've seen so much of that over the past 30 years, and nothing comes out of it that advances the kingdom of God. Instead of those external matters, let me encourage you to first focus on bearing kingdom fruit in your own life, then in the life of your family, to the extent that you can help your family in that area. Let's go back to John 15, read verses 1 through 6. Again, you've heard this verse read many times in my messages, because I believe it's one of the central teachings of Christianity.
It's a place where Jesus explains what the Christian life is all about. He said," I am the true vine, and my father is the vine dresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit, he takes away. In every branch that bears fruit, he prunes that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches.
He who abides in me, and I in him, bears much fruit. For without me, you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered, and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. Jesus talks about bearing fruit. That is the criteria of whether you are going to remain as a branch on his vine or not. In a second, we're going to talk about what this fruit is. But first, keep that in mind. Fruit is what it's all about, bearing fruit.
And plenty of other passages speak this way in the New Testament. In fact, just before the coming of Christ, John the Baptist, in his preaching, he said," And even now the axe is laid to the root of the trees. Therefore, every tree which does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire." As for Matthew 3:10. And Jesus said almost the identical words in Matthew 7:19. Again, there's the parable Jesus gave of the sower of seeds.
And as part of that parable, Luke 8:14, he said," Now the ones talking about the seeds that fell among thorns are those who, when they have heard, go out, and are choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of life, and bring no fruit to maturity." Find that in Luke 8:14. So again, fruit, fruit, that's what he's looking for.
Paul says the same thing in Romans 7:4," Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to one another, to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God." So we are married to Christ, we're part of His body, we are a branch on His vine, whatever illustration you want to use, so that we can bear fruit to God. So the next question is, well, what is this fruit?
Actually, from my reading of the New Testament, I see two different things that are spoken of as fruit. The first type of fruit is what most of us might know as the fruit of the Spirit. These are quality characteristics, part of the nature that we take on as new men and new women in Christ. In Galatians 5, verses 22 through 25, Paul tells us this," But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
And those who are Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. So abiding in Christ, part of that is living in the Spirit. And living in the Spirit means we are going to be producing this kind of fruit. Love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, self-control. Now, if we don't have those things, then obviously we're not bearing fruit. And that should be a serious concern in our lives.
Jesus made this statement to His disciples," By this all will know you are my disciples if you have love among yourselves." That's in John 13:35. Paul, when he talks about the new man in Ephesians, this is Ephesians 4:22 through 32. He says this," Concerning your former conduct, put off the old man, which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lust, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God in true righteousness and holiness.
Therefore, putting away lying, let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor. For we are members of one another. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give to him who has need.
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers, and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you. So there is a description of the new man.
Now, the thing I notice in each of these passages is that we play an important role in it. Jesus said in John 15 that without Him, we can do nothing, so it's not something we do by ourselves. On the other hand, Jesus didn't say that you play no role in the matter. Otherwise, what was the point of his admonition? His warning that if we don't bear fruit, he's going to cut us off from his vine. If bearing fruit, if we don't play any role in it, then what was the point of his statement?
If there's nothing we can do about it one way or the other. Obviously, there is something we can do about it. Paul talks about, he says," Put on the new man." Now, we can't do it without Christ. You can't be born again by yourself. On the other hand, it's not just Christ alone working in us. We play a role because that's how God wants it to be. He could do it all by himself. It's not that He needs our help. It's that He wants willing people, people who willingly want to surrender their own will to His will.
And so all of this counsel from Paul talks about put away these different things. Be kind to one another. These are things that we, if we live in Christ, will have the power to do if we will surrender our will, our nature over to Christ. The second type of fruit is advancing the interests of the kingdom of God. In his parable about the sowers of seed, Jesus said," But these are the ones sown on good ground. Those who hear the Word, accept it, and bear fruit.
Some 30-fold, some 60, and some 100." There he may be talking also about the internal fruit, the fruit of the Spirit, but I think he's also talking about being a kingdom worker, the fact he talks about 30-fold, 60-fold, 100-fold, et cetera. And this is similar to the parable of the talents. Now, a talent was a silver coin in Jesus' day. He's not talking about our abilities.
And he said this, this is in Matthew 25, verses 14 through 27," For the kingdom of heaven is like a man traveling to a far country who called his own servants and delivered his goods to them. And to one he gave five talents to another two and to another one, to each according to his own ability, and immediately he went on a journey. Then he who had received the five talents went and traded with them and made another five talents. And likewise, he who had received two gained two more also.
But he who had received one went and dug it in the ground and hid his lord's money. After a long time, the lord of those servants came and settled accounts with them. So he who had received five talents came and brought five other talents, saying," Lord, you delivered to me five talents. Look, I have gained five more talents besides them." His Lord said," Well done, good and faithful servant. You were faithful over a few things. I will make you a ruler over many things.
Enter into the joy of your Lord." He also, who had received two talents, came and said," Lord, you delivered to me two talents. Look, I have gained two more talents beside them." And then you probably know the rest by heart. He's commended as well, but the one who had the one talent went and buried it in the ground and produced nothing for his Lord, he gave him back that one talent he had been given, that one coin. So again, he seems to be talking here about work in the kingdom.
Evangelizing, making converts to Christianity would be one application, but is by no means the only one or even the most important. Because in that very same discussion, Jesus talked about the parable of the sheep and the goats, dividing them. And he says this when he separates the sheep to his right hand, he says," Then the king will say to those on his right hand,' Come you blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food.
I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was a stranger and you took me in. I was naked and you clothed me. I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me. Then the righteous will answer him and say," Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you or naked and clothe you?
Or when did we see you sick or in prison and come to you?" And the king will answer and say to them," Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these, my brethren, you did it to me." So this is one kind of work that is very important to Christ, that in that parable of separating the sheep and the goats, it's what makes the difference on their eternal fate of whether they're invited to inherit the kingdom or thrown into the outer darkness.
James 1:27 says," Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." But remember that all of this has to flow from the first kind of fruit, the fruit of the Spirit, because if it's not done in love, if you're just doing it to gain brownie points, or because someone is pressuring you to do it, or to appear good before men, then it's a total waste. Jesus said that about the scribes and Pharisees.
And Paul, in 1 Corinthians 13, verse 3, he says," And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing." So again, these can't be mechanical works. They have to be work that flows out of love, but is part, again, of this fruit that we will have if we are abiding in Christ and His Spirit is controlling our life.
Now, where you find fellowship is probably not going to have a lot to do with whether or not you produce these two types of fruit, the fruit of the Spirit, and spreading the interests of God's kingdom. You can do that in virtually any setting. So in other words, the most important things in the kingdom, these you can do in any church setting.
Now, I mentioned at the beginning that the first step in finding fellowship or deciding where you want to find fellowship is to get your own life and the life of your family in order. There are literally thousands and thousands of well-meaning Christian seekers out there who on the outside look like radical disciples of Jesus Christ. They may dress different than other people.
If their sisters are dressed very modestly, perhaps wearing a head covering, if they're guys, maybe they've grown a beard, wear clothes that are a little bit different. But on the inside, they're full of all kinds of spiritual problems. Often they're having severe marriage difficulties or rebellion among their children or other relational difficulties in the family. Sometimes they have severe financial problems. They owe a lot of people money.
And instead of being able to help others, they have to ask others for help to support them. Quite often, they have a real problem submitting to authority. And so they end up causing strife and controversy everywhere they go. It's made me hesitant to send people to a particular church or that, because I've done that many times in the past, only in the end that they become a headache to that church, and the church is a little mad at me for sending the family there.
What is so ironic is that many sisters who have decided to adopt the head covering, which I certainly strongly support and my wife wears one, they are far less submissive to their husbands than tens of thousands of Christian women who don't wear head coverings. I've personally seen a number of family situations where the wife wears a head covering, yet she totally dominates her husband. In some cases, she even tries to run the whole church.
So, I mean, if your Christianity is going to be external instead of internal, if your focus is on how you look to other people, then it doesn't matter where you fellowship. You need to get your own life, your own family in order. But I'm not just talking about sisters when I speak of submitting to authority. We husbands need to set an example by submitting to the leaders of the congregation where we attend. But so often, seekers have a spirit of rebellion in them, to which they themselves are totally blind.
They just don't see it. They feel like they are trying to stand up for truth. They don't realize that they have a problem submitting to authority. So what I'm encouraging you to do is to do some honest self-examination. Maybe ask others, close Christian friends of yours, or other Christians you have contact with that you respect, ask them to help you in examining your own situation.
Because the very first thing you need to do is to get things in your own spiritual life straight through the power of Jesus Christ and in your family so that you can bear kingdom fruit in abundance. That way, wherever you end up finding fellowship, you'll be a blessing to that church and not a headache to it. And I would really encourage you to try to move together spiritually as a family. Particularly I'm talking about on external things.
Don't suddenly make radical external changes in your family's life and end up leaving your spouse, and it can be a husband or a wife, or your children, particularly if they're teenagers behind. And I've seen this happen where someone zealously wants to take on all of these external things, which are commandments and which are good to do. But if it's a sister, she runs ahead of her husband. If it's a husband, he doesn't wait on his wife to come to the same conclusions.
Or husband and wife don't take into consideration the feelings of their teenage children. And certainly, teenagers need to submit to their parents, but you can easily lose your children spiritually, eternally, by trying to move too fast. As I said earlier, changing churches is rarely going to enable you to bear more fruit or to solve your family problems or financial problems. I'll give you an illustration. I didn't invent this.
Someone told this to me, and I thought it was a very good story that rings true so often. This family moved to a new town, and there was a church not too far away, a neighborhood church, and they thought, well, hey, maybe we should just go to this one. So they went in and talked to the pastor to learn what the church believed, and its beliefs were similar to their own.
And then they asked the pastor," Well, what are the people in the church like?" And he asked them," Well, what were the people like in the church you just came from?" And they said," Oh, they were wonderful people, very loving, very kind, not a lot of gossip going on. We really appreciated the church, our time there, and would still be going there if we hadn't had to move for other reasons." And the pastor said," You know, you're going to find the people in this church to be exactly the same way.
They're loving people that you are going to enjoy being around." Well, a short time later, another family who moved into the area paid a visit to the pastor and asked him the same questions about what the church believed, etc. And then they said," What are the people here like?" And he asked them the same question," Well, what were they like in the church you just came from?" They said," Oh, boy, we are so glad to be out of that church." People gossip, backbiting, they're not cooperative, a lot of strife going on.
And the pastor said," Boy, I hate to tell you, but people in this congregation are pretty much the same way." So they decided to go somewhere else. Well, the moral of the story is that how well we fit or don't fit into a church often depends solely on us. We often are the ones who cause the problems ourselves. If we have a good relationship, we find the people friendly and loving, cooperative, that has a lot to do with us.
And if we find they're unfriendly, and we have a lot of strife with them, et cetera, that also probably depends largely on us. So again, don't think that changing churches is going to solve your problems. Instead, focus on building a genuine, obedient love faith relationship with Christ. Having said that now, now let's look at some of the options that are out there for fellowship. Basically, you have three choices when it comes down to finding kingdom fellowship or living a kingdom life.
The first approach is what I would call the William Law approach, and that is just staying in the church where you are, or maybe joining another established what I would call a conventional church. The second choice would be finding fellowship somewhere in the conservative Anabaptist world. The third choice would be forming a house church or maybe joining an existing one that would meet your needs.
Now, the age of your children and your own family situation is going to play a big role in which one of these is going to be the best choice for you. It's not one of the situations where one size fits all. You need to find the solution that is best for your particular family situation. And each of these three approaches has its drawbacks and it has its advantages. There's no perfect solution out there. Let's first talk about what I call the William Law approach. Just staying right where you are.
Let me ask you, can you honestly say I am the most loving person in the church I presently attend? Can you say I am the kindest person in this church? I'm the meekest person in this church. I bear more kingdom fruit than anyone else in the church. I don't mean would you brag about this or anything, but in other words, in just an honest self-examination, could you say those things? And if you think the answer is yes, is that what everyone else in the church would say?
And if the answer is no, which for most of us, it might likely be no, then you might want to stay right where you are and focus on becoming the most loving, the kindest, the most Christ-like person in your church. The reason I call this the William Law approach is that that's basically what he did. He actually had gone to Cambridge and studied to become an Anglican pastor.
He'd passed all of his studies and everything, but then he had to give an oath of allegiance to King George, and he couldn't conscientiously do that. Well, the result was, since it was a state church, he was not allowed to practice as a clergyman. So he ended up having to make his living by tutoring. In that day and age, he didn't have public high schools and things like that, and wealthy families depended on a private tutor to come and teach their children.
It wasn't a real high-paying job, but it was something that would give you a living. And what William Law did was basically become what is sometimes called an evangelical saint or a Protestant saint. I mean, he lived the life that you would think of when you think of Catholic saints like St. Francis, for example. He stayed single his whole life so that he could devote his life entirely to service of the kingdom. He did a lot of writing on behalf of Christianity and a lot of private teaching.
And towards the end of his life, he had greatly influenced two different Christian sisters who he had taught and discipled, and the three of them moved to the little village of King's Cliff where William Law had been born. They attended the Anglican church there, and they started sort of like a little monastery or sanctuary there. They lived all of them celibate lives and supported each other, but they used most of their income to help the poor.
And whoever would come to their door, they tried to apply literally what Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount to give to Him who asks. And so they would save most of their money and give it to the needy. Unfortunately, this resulted in a lot of people as the word got around. A lot of tramps would come into the village to knock at his door and get funds. And a lot of the people in the village, particularly the pastor of the church, didn't like this very much. Now, I have visited King's Cliff in England.
It's still just a very small village. And William Law's house is still there right across the street from the church. That church is still there. And the pastor's house is just a couple of houses down on the same block as William Law's house was. William Law and these two Christian ladies also started a school for girls and I believe an orphanage there. And so without changing churches, just being in the Anglican church, they lived a greater kingdom life than most of the rest of us ever will live.
And so it is doable. Don't think that when you come to kingdom convictions, the only choice is I've got to go now find a church where the whole church believes the same way. That can be ideal, but very, very few of us on this journey have found the perfect answer, the perfect church to go to. Now, a similar thing to the William Law approach, or I might say a subcategory, would be finding a different conventional church.
If you go to, say, a Baptist Church, there might be a Bible church or another Baptist Church that, say, is more supportive. The pastor there might be very supportive of somebody who holds to non-resistance and wants to live by the kingdom teachings of Jesus. Other places you might find the pastor opposes you and feels like you're teaching heresy or having a bad influence on others. Well, what are the advantages and disadvantages?
On the advantages, from what I've observed, this is just over the past 20-something years, interaction with my readers, people I've met over the years, I would say that my readers, my listeners, the ones who've taken this approach, normally have had the happiest results. Now, I would not have necessarily predicted that, and it's not the course of action I would have recommended 10 years ago or 20 years ago. But I'm just speaking from the experience of other people that I have seen.
And probably the big reason is that you don't have to move. Moving is one of the most stressful experiences in life. People who do study on stresses in people's lives, they would rank a major move up there similar to a divorce or a death of a loved one. And then you add to that, for most of us, moving in order to find fellowship usually means finding a new job as well. It might mean having to change our job profession in order to find work. And that is another big stressful thing in life.
Or what many times happens is a person moves and cannot find work, and then goes without work, gets into an economic hole that's very hard to get out of. So, like I say, one of the advantages of being able to stay where you are, either in the church you're presently attending or another one across town that maybe is more supportive, is you don't have all of those additional stresses.
Also, if your family isn't of one mind, if you're the husband and this is your conviction, and your wife does not share these convictions, it can make it very tough if you move somewhere to join what I would call a kingdom-oriented fellowship, like an Anabaptist Church. If one of the spouses isn't in favor of it, it usually does not work. Usually ends up being a very bad experience.
Or if your children are, say, teenagers, and maybe they have a lot of close friends in the church where you go, they form some bonds and attachment, and they're going to be very resentful about moving, say, to an Anabaptist type church. Again, your children shouldn't rule your family, but you want to take their salvation interests in mind as well.
And I can tell you from the many exchanges I've had, that a lot of people have ended up losing their children spiritually because of trying to move to a more radical type Christian fellowship. All right, so those are the advantages. The drawback is that you're going to be walking, at least normally, against the current of your congregation. People might view you somewhat as odd.
And particularly, if you don't focus and develop a lot of kingdom fruit, and you just end up being somebody who has a lot of different ideas than everyone else in the church, it's going to be a very unpleasant experience. You can find yourself in constant conflict if you're the type of person who is more confrontational. So like I say, either you're going to change, become more mellow, or you're going to need to go somewhere else.
Also, again, depending on the age of your children, the church where you attend might have a spiritually unhealthy influence on your children. It might promote patriotism very big, and God, and war, and that kind of spirituality that you're wanting to move away from, and you don't want your children indoctrinated in this. Also, staying where you are can be a negative experience on Sunday mornings. Now, I'm one of these people.
It really gets under my skin to sit and hear a sermon that I'm convinced in my heart this is wrong teaching. This is not historic Christianity. This is not the teaching of Jesus Christ. I mean, it bugs me if it's just one sermon, if I'm in a place that normally is teaching the right thing. But when this is a kind of sermon Sunday after Sunday after Sunday, for me, that's just too much of a negative experience. But not everyone is like me.
Like I say, a lot of this just turns on the type of person you are and your family situation and a lot of things like that to consider. Okay, the second choice is joining a church somewhere in the conservative Anabaptist world. And by that term, I mean the Mennonite, the Amish, the brethren, and what are called Remnant churches. There's also the Apostolic Christian Church. And when I say brethren, there are actually two types of brethren whose backgrounds are different. There's the German Baptist brethren.
Groups associated with them would be like the Dunkard brethren as well. And then there are what are called the Old River Brethren, who back in the 1700s were Mennonites who were influenced by the revivals of that period and Methodist meetings, and they adopted many of those kinds of practices and yet basically remained as Mennonite in their way of life and their kingdom theology.
Now, when I think of the term kingdom Christians, the Anabaptists, and I'm talking about this larger world, they're the first ones who pop into my mind. In fact, they're about the only kingdom churches that are still around. There's a lot of kingdom Christians in many places, but unless we're counting house churches, as far as you know regular churches that are kingdom churches, that's pretty much it. And they've been practicing kingdom Christianity, that is Sermon on the Mount Christianity for nearly 500 years.
And this is where I personally fellowship that is in the larger conservative Anabaptist world. And why I'm using this term, this larger conservative Anabaptist world, is for several reasons. For one, there is a liberal Anabaptist world, the liberal Mennonites, the liberal brethren, the liberal apostolic Christian churches, and I'm not talking about those. Now, someone might want to end up attending one of those churches in a similar vein as someone might want to attend a conventional church.
They might feel that where they live, that's the best choice across town. I would personally find it somewhat difficult myself, but again, we're all different. We have different strengths, weaknesses, and things that we're looking for. Now, the reason I keep saying the larger anabaptist world is that there's such a broad spectrum. You know, one end you have the horse and buggy old order groups. Not very many kingdom seekers end up joining those groups, but some do, and some have done it very successfully.
And if you can make that kind of change of culture, for some people, it's been a very happy thing. But the vast majority who try it just find it is too difficult if you're coming from a non-Anabaptist background. Definitely husband and wife would have to be of one mind. And I think your children, unless they're very little, if they're very little, they're going to enjoy the whole thing, horses and that. But if they're teenagers, that's a different story. Okay, they're at one end.
At the other end are what are often called charity churches or remnant churches. And these are churches that are comprised partly of people who were raised Mennonite or Amish, something like that, and have moved to a church that is not quite so strict, which the Remnant churches would not have quite as strict regulations as most of the conservative Mennonite and Amish churches do. They have a greater emphasis on evangelical theology often, and their preaching might be more revivalistic in its flavor.
These churches, though, do vary among themselves quite a bit. Most of them, or I think all of them, would have a kingdom theology. They certainly belong in the world of kingdom churches. And a lot of the people in these remnant churches are seekers. And probably, from what I've seen, most seekers, if they're going to make it in the Anabaptist world, more make it in remnant or charity kind of churches than they do in traditional Mennonite and Amish churches.
Now, I didn't go the Remnant Church route personally, but I'm just speaking from the experiences I've seen of other people. As most of you know, my family and I have chosen to be part of the conservative Anabaptist world. And there are a number of reasons why we've chosen to do this. So let me just share with you some of the advantages of fellowshipping with the Anabaptists. The biggest advantage is that they are the only kingdom churches out there, except for certain house churches.
I don't mean that they are the only kingdom Christians because they aren't. But I don't know of any churches outside of the Anabaptists who teach the Sermon on the Mount as the way Christ requires us to live, with the exception perhaps of a few holiness churches. Now, many churches would teach the Sermon on the Mount as an ideal, but when it comes to war, to oath, to divorce, and a lot of other matters that Jesus taught about, they don't require their members to live by Jesus' teachings.
And it goes beyond the Sermon on the Mount when it comes to other New Testament commandments, such as the head covering, modest dress, and headship in the home. Again, the Anabaptists are about the only churches who still teach these things and require them of their members. Personally, I find the Anabaptist type of spirituality and their lifestyle very attractive.
When I think of them, I think of the statement of the early Christian writer, Minucius Felix, who said," We don't speak great things, we live them." The Christianity of the conservative Anabaptists isn't flamboyant, but it is powerful in its quiet simplicity. I grew up in the' 50s, and I have to admit, I miss so many aspects of the life that I knew as a boy, such as stable families. Divorce was uncommon when I was growing up. Most people believed in a hard work ethic.
There were no bank credit cards such as Visa and MasterCard, so people were less apt to be over their heads in consumer debt. Children were raised at home, not in daycare centers. Husbands were the heads of their homes. There was such a stigma associated with declaring bankruptcy that most people would make great sacrifices rather than to ever declare bankruptcy. Likewise, there was such a stigma associated with living on welfare that most people preferred to do without rather than to accept a government handout.
Premarital sex was rare. Drug use was something mainly confined to large cities. Well, in the conservative Anabaptist world, this is still how life is. They've rejected most of the detours that modern society has taken and still live by what I call old-fashioned values. Another advantage of attending an Anabaptist church is that it is nearly always much more stable than a house church. In the Anabaptist world, normally you have stable churches made up of stable families.
This is not quite as true among the Remnant churches, but in the traditional Mennonite and Amish churches. You also have a larger community to turn to if you need help. For example, if your house burns down or some other calamity strikes, you've got a huge network there to support you. So those are the advantages of joining the Anabaptist world. Now you may be wondering, well, if life among the Anabaptists is so wonderful, why don't all kingdom Christians join an Anabaptist Church?
Well, the Conservative Anabaptist world, and from here on now, when I say Anabaptists, I'm talking about the conservative Anabaptists. It's not one big spiritual paradise. And it isn't easy for those of us from a non-Anabaptist background to make the transition to the Anabaptist world. Earlier, I mentioned that one advantage of staying in the church where you are is that you don't have to undergo the stress of moving and changing jobs.
Well, for most of us, to join an Anabaptist church is going to mean moving and changing jobs. And those are stressful events in your life. So those of us who join the Anabaptist world usually begin the journey with a lot of stress. And then we run into the issue of Mennonite, Amish, or brethren culture. Now, I mentioned earlier that I love most things about Anabaptist culture, but there are aspects of it that can be vexing.
Hundreds of years of persecution forced the Anabaptists into isolated communities that, to a large extent, developed their own culture that was often different from society around them. Some of this culture was originally connected with a Bible principle, but no longer does. One example would be the plain coat. This is a special dress coat that most conservative Anabaptist churches require their men to wear to church or to any dress-up event.
At one time, the plain coat was the coat of the common people versus the lapel coat that was worn with the tie. The lapel coat was the dress of the rich, so it was a matter of not following the fashions of the rich. However, today, the plain coat is no longer the dress of the common people or of the poor. Ordinary people wear a standard lapel coat with a tie when they dress up. I mean, even in poor countries like Honduras or places in Africa, I mean, that's still how they would normally dress up.
And the irony is that today, a person normally is going to have to go to more expense to wear a so-called plain coat. Well, for a seeker, it makes no sense. Today, it's a cultural thing with the Anabaptist. It's not a legitimate application of a biblical principle. A similar example would be having to drive a black car.
Now most conservative Anabaptist churches don't require that, but many do, and probably most would forbid a red or yellow car, or maybe a two-tone car, or require a car that's dark-colored, even if it's not black. Now, the origin of this rule dates back to the early days of the automobile industry.
Henry Ford famously said," You can get the Model T in any color you want, so long as that color is black." In the early years of the automobile, and actually also during the ages of the horse and carriage, a colored vehicle represented materialism. Colored vehicles were the vehicles of the rich, whether it was a white horse-drawn carriage or a white automobile. But today, that's no longer the case. Nobody associates a black car with the poor and a white car with the rich.
What was once a legitimate application of a Bible principle has now become a cultural matter associated with what are called the plain churches. Now for a seeker coming into the conservative Anabaptist world, you run into many of these types of cultural issues. Now, we seekers usually don't mind making changes when we can see a clear New Testament teaching associated with it.
But when it's simply a matter of tradition or culture, based on things that had meaning perhaps a century ago or more, well, it does begin to wear on us. And then there's the larger issue of what Anabaptists call standards. The plain coat and black cars are an example of such standards, but they are standards that no longer have a true biblical principle behind them. They're based on something that was an issue a century or more ago.
But most Anabaptist standards are an application of a present-day biblical principle. Usually we can see the biblical principle involved. However, the mindset of a church deciding for everyone in the church how to apply this New Testament principle or that New Testament principle, that's something new to most of us. A few of those kinds of applications wouldn't bother us, but the list is often quite long, and the applications can be rather debatable.
Well, to add to that problem, when a church makes so many applications of biblical principles, invariably, they're going to be glaring inconsistencies. Mennonites will allow things that bother my conscience, but they forbid things that don't bother my conscience in the least. For example, in some Anabaptist churches, it's perfectly permissible to drive a luxury car, like a Mercedes-Benz, so long as it's black or a dark color. But I personally wouldn't feel comfortable driving such a luxury car.
On the other hand, most conservative Anabaptists would have a problem with my 1999 Dodge Caravan, because it's maroon. Well, a little bit of those kind of things don't bother most of us, but over time it does tend to wear on most seekers. Another issue is that because the Anabaptists do such a great job in so many areas, we seekers often expect to find more perfection than we should expect. Anabaptists are great people, but they're not perfect, and they don't claim to be perfect.
They have many of the same problems that plague most churches, things like gossip, cliques, ambitions for positions of authority, disagreements, jealousies, and things like that. Now, most of us would expect to find that in conventional churches, but we suppose that the Anabaptists have risen above such things. And then we're deeply disappointed when we find that they haven't.
And one final issue, if you're looking at the pattern of the early church, you'll find that the Anabaptists do quite well when it comes to the lifestyle of the early church. They follow it more than any other group that I'm aware of. But when it comes to theological issues, they would certainly disagree with a lot of the early church theological teachings. Well, the long and the short of it is that most seekers who try to join a conservative Anabaptist Church end up leaving it.
Now to my knowledge, no one has done a scientific study on the matter, but I would estimate that at least 75% of outsiders who try to join an Anabaptist Church end up leaving. Of course, the bright side of that is that it does work out for one out of four families to join an Anabaptist Church. Now, one piece of advice I would give you is this: Don't try to join an Anabaptist Church if you and your spouse aren't of one mind on the matter.
If you aren't in agreement with each other, I can almost guarantee you it's not going to work out to try to join an Anabaptist Church. Likewise, I would advise you against it if you have teenage children and they're not of one mind with you. I say that because you may well find your children turning not only against the Anabaptist, but against God altogether. It's happened to many, many families.
But if you go into it realistically, understanding the issues that are going to be involved in joining an Anabaptist Church, then it is a solution that has worked for, I would say, hundreds, perhaps thousands of Christian families. Now let's talk about the third option, and that is starting a house church, or maybe joining one if there's already one in your area. To do this, you're going to have to have formed bonds of Christian friendship and brotherhood with other Christians in your area.
Typically, how it works is through homeschool groups. I've been involved in a number of house churches myself, so I can speak from experience, and once again, lots of feedback, looking at what other people have done, what has gone wrong, what has gone well. Now, the ideal thing about a house church is that you get to follow all of your own kingdom convictions. I'm contrasting that to, if you go to a Mennonite church, you will have to live by their convictions that may not be your own personal convictions.
I've really liked that, an intimate setting, close bonds of fellowship. Normally, you'd have a meal together, and the fellowship goes on into the afternoon. Those are the advantages of a house church. The main disadvantage is that they tend to be unstable and are usually short-lived, lasting anywhere from six months to five years. The problem that usually arises is that not everyone in the church will see things eye to eye. That's not a problem unique to house churches. Every church has that problem.
But if you have a church of 30 families and two families aren't happy with the direction, or it's not working well for their family, and they want to go a different direction, well, you know, that's no big deal. The church goes on. If you're in a house church and there's four families and two families leave, well, that's 50% of your membership right there, and that's usually going to mean the end of the church. And that's why house churches tend to be unstable and fragile.
It's just the logistics of when there's just a few families. I mean, either you bond and, you know, things work together that way, or if you have any divisions, that's going to be the end of the church. The other thing, even if everything is going well, if there are children, when they're small, it's fine. Particularly if several families have children and, you know, they get to fellowship together. But when they get close to marrying age, then their choices can be very limited.
Now, there are ways around that, because in the Anabaptist world, there are lots of Bible schools and things like that that people can attend. You don't have to belong to a Mennonite church to attend it. And among the Anabaptists, this is where many of the young men and women meet their marriage mate. And that can be possible for other kingdom families as well. If there's one thing I can give some advice from the School of Hard Knocks, it would be this.
And actually, I was very influenced in this by a friend of mine, Dean Taylor. It's a message that Scroll Publishing carries entitled" Does Your Church Have a Purpose?" And if there Dean shares something that really had never crossed my mind, well, two things that, you know, were fairly radical. One, a church not being built on doing everything right. Now, see, that had been always my approach in these different house churches. Well, hey, let's nail down everything. And I want to do baptism right, communion right.
I want to teach the right thing on this doctrine, that doctrine. We're going to have to have a common mind on different principles, how we're going to apply them. You know, we're going to be a church that does everything the right way. I mean, that just seemed to be the normal thing. And I think most house churches, that's sort of you know their idea too. Hey, we're going to be a church that does everything the way God wants it done, and we have that freedom since we're starting the church.
But in that message, you know Dean suggested that instead of doing that, why not build a church around a ministry to others? How can we serve the poor? Or perhaps there's other people in our community with great needs that our church its purpose would be to serve others, instead of trying to do everything right as our purpose. For me, that was an invaluable piece of input in my life, because I had never thought of things that way. The house churches I had been involved in, as I said, we wanted to do it right.
Most of the ones I know, I mean, they'll spend months," Okay, how are we going to do this? And how are we going to approach this? And let's get all of these things nailed down." And sure, it's nice if you can do that. You want consistent teaching if you can, but it is so hard to all be of one mind when you do that. And the more you try to do everything perfect and nail everything down, the more likely you're going to have differences of opinion.
And then these are going to lead to division, and the House Church falls apart. So let me throw that out to you as a challenge.
And if you haven't listened to that message, I'd really encourage you to get that CD and listen to it and build a house church not on the idea of let's do everything the perfect way, but rather how can we encourage and love each other, have an upbuilding time on Sunday morning of worship, and serve God's kingdom in the kinds of ministries that Jesus talks about, visiting the sick, the ones in prison, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked. Why not make those things the purpose of your fellowship? What you focus on?
And if you do that, then there won't be so much to divide about. And you won't feel so bad if everyone doesn't have the same view on this doctrine or that doctrine. If you allow flexibility in the way various things are done to meet the conscience of different ones in the group. If I can give you one piece of advice, never move to join a house church. It is too hard. It's hard enough, like you say, when you move to find fellowship, but you can't build a house church on people who are moving in.
There's too much stress involved, too many financial needs tied up in that, and too much instability that comes with that. You're going to do a house church. You need to do it locally with people there in your community and build from there. What I've observed over the years is that people who try house churches usually find that it doesn't work. So they end up joining an Anabaptist church or a conventional church in the end.
They feel like the stability those churches offer more than offset any disadvantages those churches may have. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try a house church. I'm not trying to discourage you from trying it. Rather, I'm saying that so that you don't get your expectations up too high. Now it's for these reasons that Scroll Publishing has decided to remove the list of churches it used to have on its fellowship page. Most of those churches were house churches.
And from the feedback that we received over the years, we've learned that some of them didn't even exist anymore. Or perhaps they've moved in directions entirely different from where they started. Perhaps they don't even hold the kingdom convictions anymore, but their name and address and contact information was still up there. And so we've had a number of complaints from people who have contacted the names that were listed on our fellowship page.
And since in the first place, I don't recommend moving somewhere to join a house church. We've decided that the fellowship page wasn't really helping people that much, and that's why we've decided to remove it. Well, this brings us back to where we started, and to my initial statement, there is no easy answer to where to find kingdom fellowship in the 21st century. It's not that there's no answer. I've enjoyed Kingdom Fellowship for over 20 years now. But it hasn't been easy.
And like most of you, I've tried several different avenues during the course of my journey. So I would encourage you not to give up in your quest for fellowship. God will answer your prayer for fellowship if you are in the right place spiritually. And that's why I spent so much of this message talking about getting your own spiritual life in order. If everyone can see kingdom fruit abounding in you, you will find a place to fellowship where you can be a blessing to others and where you can be blessed.