S2S Sisters: "The Power of the Hidden Woman" by Patty Miller

Lesson Transcript

Our prayer is that you will be filled with the knowledge of His will, strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power. Good afternoon, ladies, and welcome to Strength to Strength Sisters. We are so grateful for this opportunity to meet together on Zoom like this, and we are excited to hear today from our sister, Patty Miller. She's going to be speaking to us about the power of a hidden woman.

I'd like to introduce Patty to you; she's from Idaho, and I'll go ahead and read her bio here, and then we'll also read the talk description. Patty Miller lives with her husband, Gary, and the youngest of their 4 children. Having lived in California, Ohio, and Washington, they now enjoy the blended congregation of a church plant in southwestern Idaho. Daughter of a minister and wife of a deacon and author, she has experienced the behind-the-scenes of the support team that keeps ministries going.

She is learning to appreciate God's strength as she deals with the challenges that come with long-term health limitations and reaching for peace, staying home while sending her husband out for ministry. They enjoy hosting friends and strangers alike, wondering who God will bring next. Thank you so much for your investment here, and we're looking forward to your talk.

I would like to mention that after the talk, there will be a question-and-answer session where you can, hopefully, if you're comfortable, turn on your video. We love to see your face. If not, you can submit your comment or your question in the chat box, and then we will read it, and Patty can take it from there. Feel free, and don't be shy; it's so interesting to hear from you all after the talk.

The power of a hidden woman: Patty's talk description goes like this: "Serving from behind." What does that mean in today's world of women's rights and strident individualism? A woman of God has value and merit in the eyes of God, regardless of her place in society or degree of visibility. Instead of oppressing women, Christianity gave women freedom and dignity that was unknown in the culture of the day.

This responsibility comes with instructions on how to use this strength in a Christ-like way, from a specific position in relation to Christ, His church, and the men who are our authority. When we occupy that position in its fullness, we find peace, joy, and fulfillment. The speaker will share biblical examples and personal experiences of serving God from behind. Okay.

Well, let's have one more word of prayer, and then, Patty, after I'm done praying, you just feel free to launch right into your talk, and you can let me know when you're finished then. Okay. Thank you. Let's pray. Father, thank you again for Your rich gifts to us, for welcoming us back to be Your children, Lord, for taking on flesh and living among us, Lord, and for showing us how to live and showing us how to die as well.

You have given us richly all things to enjoy, and You came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. And so I pray, Father, that You would be working in our hearts as we listen, Lord, and that You would show us, women, where maybe we need to learn something that we haven't learned yet. Maybe we need to surrender something that we haven't surrendered yet. Father, thank You that You offer Christian women so much in Your plan. We want to crown You as King today, Lord.

Please meet the needs of our hungry hearts, Father, and we lift our cups up to You. Bless Patty in a special way right now. In Jesus' name, amen. Okay, go ahead, Patty. Thank you. All right. I am going to focus first on what is our role as Christian women, and why do we need to serve from behind. The easiest answer is because the Bible says so. We need to take the Bible as our instruction manual and not be led by all the voices around us.

There are a lot of good Christian writings, good devotionals, good material, but we don't always know the writer's bias. An author's opinion, their theology, will always leak through, and we can end up a long way down a road that actually might be leading away from the Word of God, unless we are very, very familiar with the Bible first. So God's Word is our primary source, and anything else needs to be held up to the Bible and fit the overall picture we find there.

So no matter how skilled the writer is, or how neat a statement looks on a plaque on the wall, if it doesn't fit the picture in the Bible, we know that one of those needs to stay and one needs to go. So in Genesis, Adam was created first, in the image of God, and Eve was created later for a specific purpose: to be Adam's helper. Genesis 2:18, "And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him and help meet for him.'" Or a helper comparable to him, another verse says.

So Eve was equal with Adam, but given a different role. Her role was to be Adam's helper. His role was to be the leader. Woman is in submission to God, and we're under the leadership of man. 1 Corinthians 11:3, "But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God." That's the lineup that the Bible teaches.

And there are several other scriptures here—I'm not going to read all of those—that show, they just give us little glimpses into the man-woman relationship as designed by God. Equal roles, but different roles. Both are valued. One writer called the description in Ephesians 5 as "a high and honorable marital ethic." Husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. That's a pretty strong love. I'm going to look a little at Greek and Roman women in Jesus' day.

The study I looked at described women's status as "abjectly low," and that information was gleaned from writers of the period, and some of these names are familiar: Euripides, Aristotle, Sophocles, Aristophanes, Homer, who wrote the Iliad and the Odyssey, which most high schoolers have to do something with at one point. Plutarch, Cato. Those were just a few of the philosophers and writers in the period before, during, and shortly after Jesus' day. Women were discriminated against in those cultures.

They typically did not have schooling. There were some upper-class Romans who did allow women to be educated. Women were not allowed to speak in public. That's not—that doesn't mean they couldn't talk to a shopkeeper. That means entering into a discussion, or speaking to men, or giving any kind of teaching. A husband had supreme power over his wife and children. He was even allowed to execute them without trial, without any outside input.

Women were not allowed to own or inherit property, except in some limited cases. They were portrayed as equivalent with evil by some of those philosophers that I listed before. Infanticide: most of the infants that were killed were female. One of those writers described a female child he was talking to, his wife, who was going to have a baby. If it was female, it would be an economic liability or a social burden. That's what women—how women were viewed in Greek and Roman culture in Jesus' day.

They were also used immorally in pagan worship. When we look at Hebrew women, I didn't do an extensive study on this, so if someone knows differently, I'd be glad to hear from you. Hebrew women had some similar bias, except the immoral practices were not allowed, but they were strongly prohibited from speaking in public, in any kind of discussion or speaking to men. They were viewed as intellectually and socially inferior.

They were mostly barred from synagogue, and if they were present, they were behind a barrier, separated from the men. And we recently had the unusual experience of being with an Orthodox Jewish couple in Israel, and they got permission to bring us to synagogue with them on Shabbat, and the women are still behind a barrier. We can see the men, but we're not allowed to participate or share in the prayers or anything. So let's compare that now with Scripture.

Galatians 3:28, "There is neither male nor female, for you all are one in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 5:28, "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself." So Christianity was—excuse me—presented a totally different picture of how women were viewed. I think we all know that when there's a disagreement or two different opinions on something, someone does have to make a final decision.

There can be discussion, there can be input, but there really does have to be one person that says, "Okay, we're going to do it this way." God designated the men to be that person. One of my favorite authors is Elizabeth Elliott, and she said this: "Man didn't ask for this responsibility, neither did he earn it. It was given to him by God." So regardless of how well or how poorly a man leads, that is still his role, his responsibility.

When we see a woman—sometimes we use the phrase "she's out of her place"—I kind of picture that using her elbows and getting up in front of the man and saying what she thinks. It actually is a repulsive picture. And Proverbs has a very, very descriptive verse there: "As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion." I might have a very strong opinion on the topic. This would be—I'm talking about public discussion, public teaching.

Maybe I made a special study of it, or I'm afraid they're going to miss some really vital point. We would—as in general, women can have a tendency to become domineering or bossy. So when we're in a public discussion, there might be an opportunity for us to share our thought, and there might not. But the important thing is that I keep a teachable spirit. Learning is more important than teaching, probably.

So regardless of how much knowledge I might have, a teachable spirit is what looks beautiful in the sight of God. I want to look at some examples in the Bible of serving from a complementary position, coming alongside. The Shunammite woman that we read about in 2 Kings, she's called a great or a notable woman. And she persuaded Elisha the prophet to stop at her house and eat and rest whenever he passed by. And verse 9, we see, "She said to her husband, 'I know this is a holy man of God.

Please, let us make a small upper room on the wall.'" And let's put a bed for him there, and a table, and chair, and lamp. Whenever he comes this way, he can turn in there. So she noticed a need, and she had a brilliant idea. But look what she did. She checked with her husband first. She included him in the planning.

Look at the wording there: "Please let us make a room." She didn't just barge ahead and tell the builders, "We're going to do this." And we really don't read much about her husband's involvement, but he was obviously supportive, and she didn't barge ahead of him. She was modest with her personal wants when Elisha asked what he could do for her in repayment for this gift. She just said, "I dwell among my own people." In other words, "I'm content.

I'm fine." He did later reward her with a son, allowed—asked God to give them a son, her and her husband. And when he died, suddenly Elisha came and restored that son to life. So I view this Shunammite woman, with the information we have, as not a lot of flaws there, a pretty admirable woman. Let's look at some more women. This is in the New Testament, the women who followed Jesus and supported his ministry out of their own funds.

Luke 8:2-3, partially: "Certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities—Mary Magdalene, Joanna, the wife of Chuza, who was King Herod's steward, Susanna—and many others who ministered to him from their substance." So we know that Jesus was from a poor family, in a poor village. We can tell that partially because of the sacrifice that Joseph and Mary presented when they took Jesus, the baby, to be circumcised, the two turtle doves, I believe it was.

That was the sacrifice that was approved for the poor. From at least age 30, Jesus didn't have a steady job, no steady income, but he still had needs. He still needed to eat at the very basic level. These women very likely bought food. It says "ministered to him from their substance." So they probably used their own money. They would have prepared the food. This would have been mostly on the road. I'm assuming they would have washed and mended clothes. They may have left their own homes.

Joanna is the only one that is specifically mentioned as having a husband. The others may have been widows, unmarried. But for most of three years, they were probably on foot. All they would have had was what they could carry: cooking utensils, bedding. They left something that would have—living situations that would have been much more comfortable. Even if they were poor, it would have been—would have been better than sleeping on the road for three years. So definitely we see self-sacrifice in these women.

They were willing to give up their own comfort, their own finances. And they viewed Jesus's purpose as more important than anything else. Let's look at another woman, Priscilla, the wife of Aquila. We read about her in Acts 18 and Romans 16. She is, I believe, always mentioned with her husband Aquila. We get a very clear picture of a partnership there. There were no children mentioned. They were driven out of Rome because of their Christianity.

They were driven out of, I believe, Philip—I'm not positive of the sequence of all that—but they were definitely persecuted for the cause of Christianity. Priscilla worked alongside her husband. They made tents. She was hospitable. She invited Paul to live with them in Corinth. They hosted church services. They apparently risked their lives for Paul in Ephesus. We read about that in Romans 16. And they taught Apollos the way of God more perfectly, or accurately, helping ground him in Christian doctrine.

Apollos had been taught the way of John the Baptist, had not been heard of the Holy Spirit. He was teaching. And Aquila and Priscilla, together, gave him a further knowledge of the more complete picture of Christianity after the Pentecost and the Holy Spirit. Notice how she did it when you read those scriptures. She didn't go up and grab a hold of his elbow and say, "Listen, Apollos, we know something a little more than what you do." She went alongside her husband, and they talked to him together.

She showed discretion. Not embarrassing a speaker in public is pretty high on the list of being discreet. But she did not throw away her gifts either. She was not a wallflower. She was using what God gave her, but using it within the parameters of Christian women's behavior. Okay, let's look at a couple of women who I call them natural entrepreneurs, if I can say the word right. We start with Lydia. She was the seller of purple in Acts 16. She was apparently a businesswoman in Philippi.

There's no husband mentioned, so I don't know if she carried on a business that her husband had started. I don't know, but she was a businesswoman. And clearly she was successful. A seller of purple would have been a highly esteemed business because only royalty were allowed to use the purple dye. It was very expensive to produce. So what did she do to further Christianity spiritually? So she led women's prayer meetings by the river. That's where Paul met her.

And one of the neatest descriptions, it says, "Her heart was open for God" in verse 14. I think that's a beautiful description. When she heard Paul's preaching, she and her whole household were baptized. And she begged Paul and his fellow travelers to stay with her. That opened a way for the gospel to be spread in the city of Philippi. And I don't know if she was Jewish or Gentile, but Philippi would have been a Gentile city. But Paul was preaching in a synagogue, so I don't know.

Someone else might know more about that. Another entrepreneur is Phoebe. We read about her in Romans 16. Paul says, "I commend or recommend to you Phoebe, our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cynthria. You may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and assist her in whatever business she has need of you. For indeed, she has been a helper of many, and of I, myself, Paul also." She apparently held a position in the church. Some commentaries describe her as a deaconess.

That would have been a female filling the role of a deacon, probably working with women, financial needs, the nuts and bolts of making the church work. Again, there's no husband mentioned. I don't know if she was a widow. She was obviously trustworthy. She had business of some sort to attend to in Rome. Now, I don't know if the business they refer to is just what Paul—the business Paul asked her to do for him—or if she was already going there. So I'm going to call her an entrepreneur.

I don't have anything to support that, but. And commentaries say she may have been the one trusted with the letter to the Romans that Paul sent from Corinth. Very responsible position. I want to look at a woman in the Bible who was maybe not quite so as admirable. Some of the lessons I gleaned from her were maybe negative lessons. This is Abigail, the wife of Nabal, in 1 Samuel 25. This is not the Abigail who was King Saul's daughter, who was David's wife.

This woman was wife of Nabal, and then after her husband died, she did become King David's wife. So the setting that she was in, David had been anointed, king of Israel, but he had not taken the throne. He refused to go against King Saul. So he's on the run, and he's got a bunch of men with him, hundreds of men. Yeah, at least 200 to 400. Nabal is a very wealthy man in Carmel. He was a descendant of Caleb, so he's a fellow Hebrew. David and his men have been on the run. They've been in the wilderness.

They're hungry and thirsty. And they protect Nabal's shepherds in some way. And then they ask for food and drink, a very reasonable request. And Nabal, he gets pretty snarly about it. He refuses to share anything, which is going completely against the cultural norms. Any traveler was—it was considered an obligation to feed any traveler going by. More than that, he insults David by accusing him of being a runaway servant, rebelling against his master.

Now, that's a real slap in the face for David because he is entitled to take the throne, and he's refused because he's not going to take the throne by force. He's being honorable in not forcing King Saul off the throne. So this really is an insult. Nabal is accusing David of being rebellious against his master, and in reality, David has gone above and beyond to be honorable. David's honked off, and he is going to slaughter every male around. And he's got the men to do it, and he's getting them ready to do that.

And Abigail hears about all this from her servants. And here's what she does. She secretly provides a feast for David's men without consulting her husband. So she's wanting to do what is right, but she's not doing it in the right way. She's sneaky. But her purpose seems to have been to prevent a slaughter and to protect David, ultimately, because he was going to have his men kill every male in the whole compound. And that was wholesale murder. This was not two opposing armies on a battlefield.

This was just David got insulted, and he was hungry and tired and thirsty and blew up. And he's going after an inhospitable, grumpy old man who is going against the accepted code of behavior, but still within his rights. I mean, you don't have to feed every traveler. You wouldn't have to feed 200 men or 400 men or whatever. But still, it's not that big of an insult to just make it make sense in their culture. So Abigail does interact in a very humble spirit. She comes up to David.

She kneels at his feet, bows her head to the ground, and says, "Let this sin be upon me," kind of protecting her husband. She urges David to trust God to take care of his enemies. This includes her own husband. And then she actually seems a bit prophetic. She tells David, "The Lord will make for you an enduring house because you fight the battles of the Lord." She refers to his future as king of Israel. Now, David responds in an interesting way.

He thanks her for her advice and thanks her for intervening, not just because she gave him food, but she prevented him from taking revenge into his own hands and committing murder against innocent people. And Nabal does end up dying, but at least it wasn't at David's hands. So when we see the portrait of Abigail, it's probably a little more realistic that she's not all good. She's not all bad. I mentioned, "Share your husband's good points." She did the opposite.

She pointed out her husband's flaws in public to David and in front of his men. And any of us who are married know that that's not a good thing. But she was willing to risk her own life to preserve her husbands and all the men in her city. So let's switch gears a little. How can today's Christian woman or wife serve with discretion? Because of some health challenges that I have, I have more of a background role than I thought I would have when I was younger, looking at the future.

So I asked Gary for some of his input. My husband does some writing and manages the salt program for Christianity Ministries. And so I have been more of the support team, and he's the one that goes. And the first thing that came to his mind about a wife serving with discretion, he mentioned a time when we needed to make a decision on something, and we had different opinions. And I disagreed with him. What he wanted to do was something I didn't think was right.

But I stated my opinion and then told him I wasn't going to say any more. I would accept his decision, and I trusted him to make the final decision. He said this told him three things. One, that a woman should be able to state an opposing opinion. Two, that I wasn't going to argue about it. And three, by doing that, I silently affirmed my trust in him. And he says that's desperately needed by men, and most women don't understand how much that's needed.

His take on it is the more a man acts like he doesn't need any support, the more he maybe really needs it. When a wife or a woman who knows a man very, very well states her confidence in his ability to lead, that means so much more than a compliment from a stranger who maybe just heard him speak or read a book that he wrote. Flattery doesn't mean much. My husband also said that he needs to have confidence that I'm aiming for the same goal. I have the same vision.

If he senses that my main goal is to protect his reputation or keep him from getting hurt, that makes him discount my counsel because that's not his primary burden to protect himself. And so when he knows that my goal is his goal, then when I have some input, then that means more to him. When he gives a message, he listens for my comments afterwards. And I did not realize some of these things.

He said, "If I don't say anything, he assumes that I probably know of a better way to say it, and I don't want to hurt his feelings." Some of you who have husbands who do public speaking, it'd be interesting to see what your husbands have to say about that. So because I have health challenges that make travel difficult, one thing that I do for my husband, I edit his writing. My skills lie more in correcting grammar, and I do a lot of reading.

And so I know what message he's trying to portray, and so I can sometimes help clear up if his writing isn't as clear as it could be or whatever. That's one of my behind-the-scenes roles. Something else that I do sometimes, I will put a note in his suitcase for him to read on his way home from a speaking engagement or overseas travel. And that's because when he's on his way home, when he's on his way to something, he's invigorated. He's got his mind going on what he's going to say, what he needs to do.

When that's all over and the adrenaline is gone and he's on his way home, he slumps. And he struggles with discouragement and feeling like he didn't accomplish as much as he wanted to. So if I just slip a little note of confidence and appreciation for him to read at that point, it makes him feel my support. Another thing Gary mentioned, it encourages him when he knows that my life and ministry opportunities are not totally tied up in him. When he knows that I have strength of my own, I'm not just a prop for him.

He wants a partner, not a slave. So when he's off in Africa somewhere and he's hot and dirty and tired, but he knows that back home, maybe I'm meeting a neighbor for Bible study or I'm touching base with some sisters who might be struggling, that gives him strength and courage to keep going. One thing that is probably unique to us, he has given me veto power over his travel engagements.

And the reason he did that was he says, "I'm more aware of the needs at home and in our home community because I have health challenges." So if he gets asked to go somewhere, he checks with me. He checks his own schedule first, and then he checks with me.

And if I say, "I don't think that fits your parameters for what you're wanting, what we've set up together for what invitations you'll accept," or, "I really think we have a teenager still at home," and sometimes I will say, "I really think we need you home for a while right now." And sometimes he pushes back a little, but usually he accepts that without question because he knows that I have a sincere interest in the ministry opportunity that needs in other countries, and I don't do that lightly.

And I know that he cares about the family and my physical needs. I will mention he gave that privilege to me. I didn't demand it. And so it's pretty precious to me. One little thing that I'm still working on after 40, let's see, 40-plus years of marriage, 43, 42. Yeah. Anyway, he hates being interrupted when he's telling a story. And I just want to make sure all the details get out there. I mean, we're telling the story.

And so it doesn't really matter who says it, but there's this really good part, and I'm afraid he's going to skip it. And so I just kind of chip it in. Drives him up the wall. So I'm still working on that one. So I don't know if any of that would be helpful for any of you, but if you can use it sometime, great. So let's look at supporting the ministry of others, especially if your husband is involved in a ministry of some sort. One thing you need to do, oops, sorry, is guide the spirit of your home.

If Dad's not there, you can be resentful. You can be grumpy. You can complain. You can make just little snide comments. And that will determine the spirit in your home. If you're supportive, if you say, "You know what, kids? I'm going to need your help tonight with such and such because Dad usually helps with that, and he can't be here right now," you have a great influence on the spirit in your home. Demonstrate the values you want to see in your family.

If mother doesn't care about others, why expect your children to? If Dad is away from home, he's involved in some sort of ministry, it's up to you in that period of time to demonstrate what you want to see. Support from behind when your husband or your father is in the ministry or some sort of leadership responsibilities that maybe interfere with family time. Maybe he has school board meetings or leadership meetings or a speaking engagement.

Teach your children to respect their father and honor him for what he's trying to help with. Be careful not to be resentful or bitter. Marielle Frost gave me a little quote that I really liked. "Turn the hearts of your children toward their father." That's it. That's a really neat picture. So even when he has to miss eating supper with the family or he gets home too late for evening devotions or whatever the situation is, those are a few things that you can do.

Express your appreciation and your confidence in the man of the home. Gary says, "The farther a man is pushed into public or leadership positions, the more vulnerable he actually feels, and the more he really feels the need for support from his wife." We know a minister who can tell you exactly how many times someone told him they appreciated something in his message. Ask questions. Well-worded questions are very powerful when you are maybe doubting the wisdom of a decision.

That's a way you can communicate and help expose danger areas without being disrespectful. So ask, don't tell. Be a Priscilla. When you're alone, take him aside and say, "Are you sure this is the best way to do this? Or what has your research shown on this area? Or have you heard of good results from doing it this way?" And then whatever he decides, be supportive of that. I keep going too far. There must be okay, it's going to be both of them. There must be a balance between criticism and affirmation.

It's way too easy for us to find the things that we are critical of, then the things that we can affirm. If you have children, they are your primary mission field. Outside ministry opportunities for you need to be drawn into the family setting. And you will find ways to do that, I'm sure. But a home that shows a spirit of contentment, love, interest in others, that's a powerful mission right there.

We have a friend who bakes their bread for their family, and she always bakes an extra loaf of bread that she gives away. She finds someone to give that to that week. So there's all kinds of ways to serve. I'm not really going to go into a lot of those, but the details are not as important as the spirit of the woman doing the ministry. Okay. So I want to acknowledge there are times when women must take the leadership role in your home. Or maybe you're an older single. Maybe you're widowed or divorced.

Maybe you have children in your home. Hold regular devotions with your household. And that's something that I confess is a little hard for me sometimes when my husband's gone and it's just me and my teenage daughter and the evening gets away. But that is important, and it's something I want to work on doing better, even if you just have prayer together. Provide hospitality. If you don't have your own home, ask a young mother at church or an older sister at church if you can help her.

And again, these are women who have to take the leadership role. Look around your neighborhood. Look for children who might need a place to play before or after school. This is probably more applicable to if you live close to town or suburb, not out in the country. Provide a little snack, a story. Read them a story. That's something your neighbor children will remember the rest of their lives. Look for the elderly people in your neighborhood, in your grocery store, sitting on a bench outside the bank.

There are many, many lonely people all around us. A smile and a few minutes of conversation won't destroy your schedule too much. And you might start a valuable friendship that will bless you and your children. Look around your neighborhood. Notice if somebody's lawn needs mowing. Maybe the branches need to be picked up after a storm, leaves raked. You can ask others to help you. You can offer to work alongside the owner, knock on the door and say, "Hey, you know what? I have some extra time this afternoon.

Would you mind if I picked up your sticks for you after the storm?" And again, you'll find a homeowner much more hungry for conversation than they are for a large organized workforce. Give generously. This probably applies more to singles than it would widowed or divorced. Singles are often able to give more financially than families. Their expenses would tend to be lower. That is a ministry opportunity that is wide open to you. And ask around. Ask others.

Find a ministry opportunity in a field you're interested in, maybe something you have some skills to offer. You don't have to go to college and have a nursing degree or something like that. Every ministry out there, no matter how big or how small, has some office needs, bookkeeping, filing. And many times, the people who are the front face of a ministry are not always the best ones at doing the bookkeeping and filing. Those are details that somebody else does. So look for those opportunities.

Maybe if you're not able to get around much and you know of someone who's going to be going out of the country to serve, ask if you can gather up some informational materials, educational materials for their children, or put together some information about the place where they're going and the culture they're going to. See if you can make a meal at a women's shelter or homeless mission. Organize groups of older single women to assemble kits for hygiene kits or school kits.

One thing that we've done here as a church group a couple of times is what we call blessing bags. It's just a little ziplock bag that we keep in our cars to hand to people who are standing along the road with a sign saying, "I need help." We'll get together and fill these little bags with a couple of granola bars, some hot chocolate mix, tea bags, a little New Testament with the Psalms and Proverbs. We'll print off a bunch of coloring pages of Bible verses, and we all sit around and color.

And then we fold them up and put them in these little bags. Very simple, but it makes it a little nicer when you don't have to just act like you're ignoring this person standing by the road holding a sign. Offer tutoring services. There's always children that are struggling to learn something, especially in the first couple of grades. Listen to the beginning readers. Listen to them read. Do math flashcards. I used to do that. All of our families are homeschooling because we have a very small group.

And I used to go around once a week and do math flashcards. I've recently learned that reading or playing games with preschoolers is a big help so the homeschooling mom can spend the time teaching. And it doesn't take a lot of effort. Those are just a few ideas. The main verse that I like to use as a rule of thumb, "As we have, therefore, opportunity, let us do good to all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith." That doesn't mean we end with the household of faith, but especially them.

I want to end with an example that probably most of us are familiar with, the front side of this ministry. I'm going to talk about what's behind that ministry. I'm guessing a lot of you are familiar with the devotional called My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. That was a one-year short devotional, deep thoughts. Not very deep, but it was compiled by Oswald Chambers' wife known as Biddy. Her name was Gertrude. But he called her Biddy, short for beloved disciple.

Wouldn't you like to be known as beloved disciple? I'm not sure I want to be called Biddy, but. So she was a sickly child. She had bronchitis. She had to leave school early to help her mother at home so that her older sister and brother could continue their education. And she was frail in body, but strong in spirit. She got training in stenography. This is right about the time of World War I, shortly before. So she could take dictation. She could take down shorthand at 250 words a minute.

That's faster than most people talk. I took some shorthand classes, and I finally got to 120 words a minute after practicing every day for a year. So that's why she got down everything he said. So Oswald did a lot of preaching. And wherever he went, he was also an instructor at Bible College. Wherever he went, she took everything down in shorthand. And then World War I began, and they moved with their two-and-a-half-year-old daughter to Egypt. And they set up an R&R base for soldiers in World War I.

That would be Recreation and Recuperation. I'm not totally sure what the R's and R's are, but they were with the YMCA. They set up tents that when the men were on their furlough, they had a place to stay. She provided tea. They didn't have a lot of money. They didn't have a budget much. So it was very simple, very simple meals, and they provided tea. They held Bible studies. They had their little girl there. She was like a mother to them. It was especially for Christian soldiers.

And then others heard about it who didn't want to go run wild on their break times. So while Oswald was teaching and mentoring the soldiers, Biddy, as a chaplain, Biddy developed her ministry of hospitality. And I don't know how many soldiers went through there, but it was a lot. It was a big deal. Oswald Chambers died after an appendicitis operation. And so she returned to England with their young daughter, and the book I read, she says she was destitute.

But she had reams of notes from Oswald's teaching and sermons. So some of her friends supported her financially, and she started typing up her notes. She ended up publishing 30 books. They were only in Egypt for two years, between 1915 and 1917. And what came out of those two years was the book, My Utmost for His Highest, from the short morning devotionals that he gave at breakfast time. Notice she published that book in his name, not hers. He never knew anything about it. That book has never been out of print.

It sold more than 13 million copies. And her favorite saying is what I want to end with. And the spirit that I would like all of us to have when we think about ministry and serving from a complementary position. She said, "Let's see what God does whenever a new opportunity or a new challenge came up." And that's all I have for today. Thank you. Well, thank you so much, Patty, for your investment in that talk.

You have really painted a thrilling and convicting and fulfilling picture for us to think about and work on. I've been blessed and convicted both. So really appreciate what you shared here. Well, I would like to open a question-and-answer session now. Ladies, feel free to turn your cameras on if you would like to speak or submit your questions and comments into the chat box, and Lynelle will share them with Patty.

So what blessed you today or convicted you, or maybe you have an experience that you'd like to share about what God is teaching you on this subject? Thank you, Patty. That was really powerful. And what you said about guiding the spirit of your home, that is just so important and so powerful. And it doesn't matter whether you have children in your home or whether it's just you and your husband. That power is there for the hidden woman to guide the spirit of the home. So thank you for that.

And the story you ended with about Oswald Chambers' wife, "Let's see what God does," that was really good. I mean, I read his devotional. I had no idea that his wife was the one that did that, put it together. That's really being hidden. So thank you very much for that. Thank you, Patty, for what you shared. I love that quote, "Let's see what God does." And I was thinking how some women are more hidden by circumstances maybe than by choice. And you talked about that a little bit with your health journey.

And I was just listening to Christy Kennison's talk from a week ago. And she talked about that too, how once she became a mother, she wasn't able to do the visible things that she wanted to do. She, by circumstances, had to take on a more hidden role. And so I would love to hear a couple of things from you. What are some ways that you intentionally use this season of your life when you need to be more hidden because of circumstances?

What are ways that you can still invest in God's kingdom and do great work for Him, but also letting Him just work through your weakness? Yeah. Well, this is what I do. It feels a little bit like I'm doing the elbow thing. I have just purpose to make myself open to God. And He has brought it's been very interesting because He has brought women. Some were neighbors. Some we met through a visit.

Actually, Gary was visiting someone in jail, and they contacted someone else needed somebody to talk to, and they wanted their wife to have some support, etc. And so we started having a Bible study together. So it seems like God has done that. I have fibromyalgia, and I have degenerative discs in my back.

And so I'm not able to just commit to a very rigid, "Yes, okay, every week at 3:00, we're going to do this." So that's been a little bit of a drawback for me personally in committing to some of the things I mentioned I'd love to be doing. But like serving at a woman's shelter or whatever, I can't necessarily commit to always being there. So I've been more staying at home and asking God to bring people to me. And He has done that. And that's been very rewarding. It's kind of exciting. Yeah.

And I do try to help Gary with editing and material content, I guess. That would be my contribution, his writing. He writes it and gives it to me, and then we go over it together for several times. Yeah, I guess I'm kind of blank. I can't really come up with anything spectacular. They're all pretty small things. I do like to babysit. We don't have any grandchildren close to us now. And so I enjoy babysitting for the other moms. Like I said, I used to go around and do math flashcards for homeschool moms.

For a while, I went to one of our homes and read stories to their preschooler while she did the teaching to her older kids. So yeah, I guess there's just been small things here and there. Thank you. And then there's a comment in the chat box that says, "Thank you for the reminder that singles have space to help in ways married women cannot." And maybe you have a couple of examples that you want to give there on ways that that is more possible for them. Yeah.

So our oldest daughter was a little older when she was married. And so we got a and she lived at home. And so we did get to live that life for a little while. And she appreciated it when people treated her like another adult friend. And she found ways to do things. A lot of things in the kitchen. She would make food for someone else that was maybe expecting overnight company or something. And we've known some older single girls who had their own homes. I say girls, they were women.

And they would have Sunday company. They would have overnight company, just like the rest of us with families did. And that blessed me so much that they didn't feel shunted off to the side or like they weren't really participating in church life. They just acted like all the other women. And I think that's a real blessing. That's a blessing to those of us who are married with children or whatever, to have an older single or a widow or a divorced woman, whatever, be just another sister in the church.

You're not different. You're not other. You're just a sister. Those who don't have any children and are single, of course, do have opportunities to serve on the mission field. There's different opportunities open that way. But I think one thing that probably is a blessing for a single is to look at the families around you, whether it's in your neighborhood or in your church, and just think a little bit about what their life is like and try to think about what their stress areas might be.

And then think about, "What can I do to come alongside my sister over here and lift that burden that she's carrying?" For a while, when I was having a lot of back trouble, we had a sister call and say, "Could I come over one evening a week after work and do your ironing for you?" And that was when we had smaller children, school-age children. And that was such a blessing. She'd come over once a week. And sometimes she'd stay for supper. Sometimes she didn't.

But sometimes we chatted the whole time while she was ironing. And sometimes she just quietly came in and did it and left. But wow, that was a real boost. So yeah, I think I could get excited about the opportunities. I know there's loneliness and there's maybe insecurity about your future when you're alone. But you don't have to be alone all the time. And I would encourage sisters to look for ways to be part of other people's lives. Yeah, what a blessing. Thank you.

There's another comment in the chat box here that says, "Thank you so much, Mrs. Miller. I loved what you said about stating our opinion, yet not arguing, about trusting the man in charge and showing support to him. I never knew men needed our trust.

I had never seen it that way." Yeah, that actually was a surprise to me when my husband told me how vulnerable it feels to maybe give a sermon or give a lecture somewhere or something, an event you're trying to guide, and then not knowing if you did a good job or if it accomplished anything or if it was a total waste of time. I didn't realize the level of discouragement that comes after that.

And I think that's when those are the opportunities Satan looks for to attack with temptation, with doubting your faith, maybe. And so I think it's pretty important to be aware of that. Yes, and also how important or how important our trust is in our words, us verbalizing our trust. And yeah, the power of our words is so important. And I have to think also then too how debilitating also women can be to the men in their lives when that trust isn't there or they have not chosen to embrace their role.

And that has been a lesson that I feel like God has had to teach me too, where I realize the power of my words to my husband and the men in my life. Often, when that trust isn't there or we are unhappy with the role that God has called us to, we want to control. And until we're ready to surrender and embrace all the ways that we can support the men in our lives, we can do a lot of damage. And on the other side, we can do so much to build them up.

And once we surrender, we actually see many, many opportunities that God just has waiting for us. Patty, like you mentioned that you came to a place where God had to bring the people to you because of your health condition. And He is just waiting. He's just waiting to bring us all kinds of opportunities into our own home, into our own home experiences, wherever they are. And I realize that those can be different for different women, for sure.

I feel like you have really called us in your talk with the different examples of women that you shared. You've really called us to take responsibility for our spiritual health and for our place of work in God's kingdom. There's just so much. There's so much for us to do. I also thought about in the Gospels where it talks about Anna. She was a widow and how she served God with prayer and fasting night and day.

And it just really just thrills me so much to think over the things you shared here and the women that you talked about. Is there anyone else yet that would like to share something? There's another question in the chat for you, Patty. And it says, "What other ways can we serve from behind as a wife if the husband is not involved in ministry and if we don't host with hospitality?" So I think all the different ways of supporting, you can adapt that to whether your husband's not in.

Yeah, I think that's probably going to depend a lot on your circumstances, what your life consists of. But when I say hosting, I don't mean I'm not talking about a big fancy party where everything's planned and color-coordinated. Just have a cup of tea on the porch with somebody. I just think I'm becoming more convinced that loneliness is one of our biggest problems. And we live right on the edge of a town. So we have country behind us and houses in front of us. And several of our neighbors are older.

And they're just plain lonely. Their children and grandchildren are all busy, school, work. And these people, they work in their yard. Maybe they take a cruise now and then or something. But they're hungry for just someone to talk to that has some depth to them, not just chit-chat, but someone who has some and people are looking for solidity in our world today. Things are changing so rapidly.

And it's almost like there's an alternate fantasy world that a lot of people are living in with their computer use and maybe game use. And so sincere people are actually seeking out things that are solid, things that have a basis that doesn't move. And that's what our faith does for us. And I just really think if you ask God to show you opportunities, to open your eyes to the opportunities, I really believe you'll find them. You'll see them.

Yeah, it would depend on where you live and who's around you and what your family setting is. But God can bring those opportunities. I think they're already there. But ask Him to show you. Ask Him to open your eyes to them. Thank you for that. And I think, too, one thing - and you touched on this - that's helpful to remember is that it's often the very small things. The whole talk is about being behind, not out in front. But we can think they're almost insignificant things, like saying hello, smiling.

Yeah, it can be very small. One thing my husband and I have talked about, when you take a walk or you go to town or whatever, when you look in someone's eyes and you smile and you make a comment about the day or whatever, it's like you're kind of cracking open a door that you're giving God the opportunity to open that door wider if it needs to be.

And what Gary has said before, he wants our neighbors and the people we come in contact with to know that if they hit hard times, if they come up against something that is life-changing or threatening or whatever, they will have somebody they can turn to for help. And that's really what to me, it seems like that's what we're here for. That's what our purpose on earth is, is to let God use us and to bring glory to Him through whatever we do.

I had to think too with this question about what other ways are that we can serve. I think about even just the simple needs that our husbands have, physical needs of food and fresh clothing.

And whether our husband is in ministry or not, there is just such a beautiful role to be played in taking care of those needs and making sure that his clothing is well cared for and his just whether anyone else ever knows, there's just a beautiful role that a woman can play in her husband's life in such simple ways, but they're so meaningful, I think, and so empowering for him to go out and face all the opportunities and work that he has in his life too.

So I thought about that with that question, about other ways to serve. I did just think of something else I guess you could consider serving. In the winter, I like to crochet. A lot of times, we'll have a book that we're reading out loud as a family or something, and I like to crochet. So the last couple of years, I've been making hats. I just got some simple sock cap patterns, and I just sit and crochet hats. And then I took them to a women's shelter when the next when we were ready for the next winter.

And we had some friends who liked to interact with homeless, and I gave them a bag of them, just hand them up. So if you I mean, it's no big deal at all. But in little things like that, if you have something that you enjoy doing, if you give it a little thought, you probably can find a way to use that little craft or that gift to bless others. All right. Well, thank you, ladies, for joining this call. And thank you so much, Patty, for your time that you've spent and the way that you have shared with us today.

It has been such a blessing. I think that we will wind it up here. And we would love to have you join us for our next talk on October 3. And I don't remember exactly who's speaking in October. Lynelle, do you remember who's speaking in October? So in October, it's October 3rd is the date. And it'll be by Sue Kaufman. And she's going to be talking about her experience with bipolar disorder, a story of thorns, roses, and redemption.

And she has experienced living with and loving people with a bipolar disorder, first her father and then her husband. Can mental illness and beauty fit into the same narrative? Yes, when God is the author, sustainer, and redeemer. Yes. Okay. Well, we'll look forward to that talk as well. Patty, would you mind praying for us before we end the call here today? Let's pray. Dear Father, thank You for this time together.

Thank You that there are sisters spread across Your earth and that we can all be joined in a common goal, a common love, common worship. I ask for a blessing on each of the women who are listening. Show us ways, Father, that we can use our lives. We can use our minds to bless others in Your kingdom, to maybe show a light in a dark place. And all we're called to do is plant a seed. And thank You, Father, that You are so faithful about watering and tending and nurturing seeds that are planted in others' lives.

I just ask a blessing on all the different ways that these sisters are ministering to others. I pray a blessing on them and ask for Your guidance and that You would open our eyes to our opportunities. Thank You, Father. In Jesus' name, Amen. Okay, ladies, thank You for joining. And thank You again, Patty. God bless You as You live Your lives and embrace the place that He's called for You. Let's see what God does. Walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work.