S2S Sisters: "God's Design for Womanhood: Valuable, Gifted, Feminine, Meek" by Mariel Frost

Our prayer is that you will be filled with the knowledge of His will, strengthened with all might according to His glorious power.

Welcome to Strength to Strength Sisters. The vision of Strength to Strength Sisters is to encourage women to be catalysts in advancing the Kingdom through biblical teaching, testimonies of faithful women, and thought-provoking discussion.

I have the pleasure today to introduce to you our speaker, Marielle Frost, and you all might recognize her from a previous talk on this platform. We had some technical difficulties the last time that she spoke, and I was not able to read her description. I didn't take the time to on her first talk.

The title of that first talk was "Born Crucified." If you have not heard that one, you might like to go back and find that sometime.

Marielle Frost was born in New York City, raised in a non-Christian home, educated to be a career woman. Marielle knows what it is like to leave her culture behind. One year into their marriage, Mike and Marielle were born again at a non-denominational evangelistic service. They immediately began reading the Bible and trying to simply do what it says.

This led to convictions about non-resistance, remarriage, and the head covering that made it increasingly difficult to fit in. The search for like-minded fellowship brought them through various denominations, eventually ending in a move to a charity-type church in 2001.

Marielle lives in Ohio with her husband and some of her 12 children. Her desire is to be faithful in whatever God gives her to do. She has a passion for teaching and discipling her children, encouraging her sisters, and reaching out beyond her home whenever the Lord allows it.

I have been very blessed to have interacted with Marielle in the last couple of years here. She has strengthened my arm in God different times, and it's been such a blessing.

The talk that we are going to have today is the first in a series here on this platform in 2024. It's called our God's Design series. Marielle will be presenting the first one here today, and it's called "God's Design for Womanhood." And I'd also like to read her description for that talk now.

Whether you're single or married, a mature Christian, or new to the faith, you probably have questions about what it means to be a woman. Throughout the ages, Satan has been equally satisfied with two opposite tactics concerning women. On the one hand, he has promoted the abasement of women. He wants them used, oppressed, and subservient. He wants them resigned, discouraged, and powerless.

On the other hand, he has also encouraged the exaltation of women. He wants them to be independent, brash, argumentative, and discontent. Either way, Satan wins. But what does God want? What is God's design for womanhood? Let's explore what the Bible tells us and what it does not. Let's look at what a woman is and what she is not.

So this talk will be followed by a question and answer series, question and answer session, sorry. And you all can be thinking about what you'd like to talk about at the end here. We'd love if you'd turn your camera on when you do that. And feel free. This talk is intended for sisters only, so you can be thinking ahead about that. So let's pray for Marielle here. And then, Marielle, you can take your time, and we'll be praying for you while you speak. All right, let's pray.

Father in heaven, we come here together as a group of women that are hungering and thirsting for righteousness, Lord. Please satisfy our longings. Please speak through Marielle today. I ask for the outpouring of your Holy Spirit on her. Lord, you know every mental journey, emotional journey, and every real-life experience that she has walked through to this day. And now, Father, I pray that you would be glorified by what she has to share here.

May the soil of our hearts be soft and open to conviction. Please bless this hour. In Jesus' name, amen.

Amen. Amen. Thank you very, very much, Doreen. I appreciate your prayers. Thank you to everyone who's been praying for me and for this time we have together. So the topic of biblical womanhood is so broad, and to me, it has just been very, very intimidating. There have been so many people, wise ones and otherwise, who have had something to say on this topic. And I've just been honestly very reluctant to just add my voice to the mix. But I do find that it's a privilege to consider this topic, and I've been really focused on it for the last couple of weeks. As Doreen mentioned, this is just an introductory message, and I'm very grateful for that.

I'm grateful that other sisters are going to be delving in much more specifically with teachings on God's design for nurturing and God's design for service, for headship, for the head covering, for beauty, for femininity. So what I hope to do today is just be able to paint kind of a big picture. And I hope by the end of our time together, you'll just be a tiny bit more aware of your significance as a woman and maybe of everything that you just take for granted being a woman. Because I think biblical womanhood is a real piece of the gospel.

I want you to understand that sexuality and gender, porn and perversion are a pivotal battleground in the age-old conflict between good and evil. Whether you're married or single, your life is a living epistle. If you're married, your reverence for your husband is an illustration of the church's submission to Christ. If you're single, your longing for intimacy and covenant love, coupled with your commitment to purity while you wait, are a picture of the church preparing herself and waiting expectantly for her heavenly bridegroom.

So married or single, your womanhood is a powerful tool in your living presentation of the gospel. So what is a woman? This is a hot question right now. It's at the core of many current events and social debates. For some of us, it seems like a ridiculous question. A woman is an adult female of the human species. A woman has reproductive organs. A woman can birth babies. A woman has two X chromosomes. It should be simple, right?

But before we simply roll our eyes and move on, I think we ought to slow down and understand why this is a question at all. If we want to be relevant to our generation, if we want to be able to lovingly engage with our world, then we need to try to understand. We don't need to agree, but we do need to listen.

So I've been wrestling with all of this and trying to listen. I watched a documentary. I read a couple of books. I scanned several articles. There's a lot of new vocabulary to learn, a lot of new thoughts to try to assimilate. What is sexuality? How is it different than gender? Is it binary? Is it fluid? Can a man be trapped in a female body? Can a person be born as neither male nor female? It turns out some of these questions are valid.

There are some conditions which make things confusing. One article I read estimated that one in 80,000 people have some kind of a biological issue related to sexuality. Another website said that as many as one in 2,000 are born with atypical genitalia.

Apparently, it is even possible for a woman to have all the normal functioning parts of the female sex and yet have an XY chromosome. So I had no idea. But these conditions are rare. And what is much more common today is that people aren't comfortable with their, as they now put it, sex assigned at birth.

Let me read a few short excerpts from an article on Cleveland Clinic's website entitled, "What Does It Mean to Be Non-Binary?" I quote, "For a long time, Western society thought of sex and gender as a binary: male, female, girl, boy, man, woman. As a side note, binary means having only two components. In computer science, binary code is composed of only ones and zeros, or you might think of Morse code, which has just dots and dashes." So back to the article here.

In simple terms, being non-binary means that you do not identify solely or at all with the idea of being a man or a woman. Health professionals now recognize that gender identity is much more expansive and multifaceted. In other words, what's being said here is that now sexuality is not like a switch that's either on or off. It's more like a dimmable light bulb that can go through a range of settings. Is that possible? Can you be neither male nor female, but somewhere in the middle?

Even though we can see that there are some who, due to the destructive effects of this fallen world, they do struggle with biological anomalies and gender dysphoria, there are only two options that are mentioned in the creation account. God created humans male and female. That was undoubtedly his original intention.

So this article continues, "For some people, even the term transgender can feel like a binary. So being non-binary may feel separate from the identity of transgender. It's all very individualized." It is all very individualized. When you take God and his original intent out of the picture, each individual and their subjective feelings are left to determine whether they're male or female or neither one.

It reminds me of the time of the Old Testament judges. In those days, there was no king in Israel. Every man did that which was right in his own eyes. The underlying issue here is really no different than it has been throughout the ages. There's just no king.

I wonder if we could picture human sexuality like water. If you contain water in a vessel, it can be transported. It can be used. If water is like in a box, it will slosh around inside that box safely. But as soon as one wall of that box is removed, all the water will immediately run out of the box. This is because water is always flowing to the lowest point, and it always takes the path of least resistance. There's even a scientific law which explains why this is so.

Similarly, human nature, original sin, predisposes us to seek the lowest point and to take the path of least resistance. In our postmodern society, the walls of the box are totally gone. Human sexuality has been left to find its own level. It descends through fornication, adultery, perversion, confusion, seeking the lowest point without anything to stop it.

Romans 1 lays it out quite clearly. "When they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful, but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves, who changed the truth of God into a lie and worshiped and served the creature more than the Creator. For this cause, God gave them up unto vile affections, for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature."

So without God to define and contain it, human sexuality has only one way to go, and that is down. But let's not look around us simply with disgust and not also with compassion. If we removed God from our lives, we would go in exactly the same direction. We might pick a slightly different path, but the direction of all human behavior apart from God is down.

So the job we have before us as women in the church is a very important one. We need to resolutely hold the fort, being unapologetically female according to biblical terms. We need to compassionately live a life that is both an example and a rebuke amid the confusion which is swirling around us.

I'd like to do three things in the time we have together today. First of all, I want to lay out God's basic blueprint for womanhood. I will have to use broad sweeping terms and make a lot of assumptions and just touch on the highlights.

Then, secondly, I also want to acknowledge that most of us don't really live in the ideal circumstances. This reality makes it hard for some of us to swallow what God has to say about our place in the universe.

It also means that there are so many stereotypes and misconceptions about womanhood and femininity. I want to look at some of these, again, in pretty broad terms. I want to look at what the range of normal is that God allows for in womanhood.

And thirdly, I want to home in on one very important quality that must characterize us as women specifically and also as the church of God collectively. I want to look at meekness. Meekness is not weakness. Meekness is not sitting in the corner doing nothing. I want to look at the word as it is used by God in the Bible and see if we can come up with a working definition that actually has feet on it.

So I realize today I'm speaking to an audience that understands that God is the creator of the universe. He's the final authority on everything. Having designed us and the world we live in, he's the very best source of information on how to live and how to do it well.

When we follow the instructions given by our maker, everything is going to run more smoothly. So what is God's design for a woman? What is his blueprint? What does human sexuality look like when the walls of the box are still intact?

When the water in the box is sloshing around a bit, but none of it is leaking out. So let's start at the beginning and we'll look at the book of Genesis. We see there that woman is an image bearer of God and one component of a matched set.

In the beginning in Genesis 1, it says that God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Male and female, he created them. We also see from the Genesis account that woman is a helper. Adam was told to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. Eve was told to help him in these tasks, and indeed he couldn't have done it without her.

We also see that woman is a companion. Everything God made was good until he realized Adam was alone. And this, he said, was not good. So God made him a partner. Before the fall, God designed men and women to be a loving team, working together towards a common goal, equal in value, but with distinct roles.

After the fall, things changed drastically for both the man and the woman. Suddenly, they realized they were naked and they had a knowledge of good and evil. Their new knowledge was an entry point for perversion, and their nakedness had to be covered.

They became subject to death, and their roles were made more distinct and coupled with suffering. Women were cursed with sorrow in bringing forth children and also told that their desire would be for a husband in spite of the fact that he would rule over them.

Jump forward now to the New Testament, and we have several more passages that give us keys to God's ideal blueprint. Some passages that are familiar are Ephesians 5, 1 Timothy 2, Titus 2, and 1 Peter 3. They tell us that women should be clothed in modest apparel, focusing on being shamefaced and sober rather than adorned with fancy hairdos, jewelry, or other costly array.

God makes it clear that his primary concern is for the hidden man of the heart. Women are to cultivate a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. Women are exhorted to be discreet, chased, keepers at home. They are to love their husbands and their children and to fill their place in God's plan so that the word of God is not blasphemed.

We are also taught that women are to be in subjection to their own husbands. We should submit to and reverence our husbands in the same way that the church submits to Christ. And husbands are to love their wives in the same sacrificial way that Christ loves the church, giving his life for her and diligently washing her in the water of the word.

God desires to use marriage as an illustration for his relationship with his redeemed people. Paul calls this a great mystery. Passages like 1 Corinthians 11 also clearly teach us that God has an established order of authority. Things run smoothly when we all find our place in that headship order.

So at the top, we have God, who's just the Father and Creator of everything, the ruler. Then under God, we have Christ, the Savior, the Redeemer, him in whom all things consist. And then under Christ, we have the man who's to protect, provide, nourish, and cherish. And then finally, at the bottom, we have woman who is to help, to serve, to nurture.

Even though women are at the bottom of this ladder, it's not designed to be a place of oppression. The headship order is based on the creational order. It is not based on value or ability. In the New Testament, women are actually given a great deal of honor and a great deal of latitude. If we look at the Gospels, we see that Jesus interacted with women and did so in a way that made even some of his male contemporaries a little uncomfortable. For example, he spoke with the woman at the well about some very intimate things in her life. He also allowed his feet to be anointed with spikenard and wiped with a woman's hair.

And he even asserted that her audacious act of worship would be spoken of wherever the Gospel is preached.

The Bible also teaches that women are very gifted. 1 Corinthians chapter 12 is a familiar passage that tells us that diverse gifts are given to everyone. Verse 7 says specifically, "But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal." The word man here is hikastos. It means each or every, as in every man, every woman, or everyone, depending on the context. It's a completely ungendered word, just like mankind or humanity.

It seems to me that this passage about gifts refers to what we more commonly think of as personality or temperament. There have been many attempts over the years to catalog and graph personality traits. Some are useful. Some are entertaining. Many are oversimplified, but none of them are gender-specific.

So God has endued women with innumerable gifts, and the Bible's full of examples of ways in which he intends for them to be used for his glory.

Some women in the Bible were prophets. Four Old Testament prophetesses are mentioned by name. In the New Testament, we are told of Philip's four daughters who prophesied and of Anna, who was both a prophetess and an intercessor. Then there was Mary, the mother of Jesus, and Elizabeth. They prophesied, and their words have been recorded in the book of Luke.

Peter told the crowds in Jerusalem that in the last days, their sons and daughters would prophesy. And Paul too refers to women prophesying. He states quite clearly that a woman's head should be covered when she prays and when she prophesies.

Other women are gifted in other ways, particularly in acts of service. There's one woman, Phoebe, who's given the title of deaconess. Many others are specifically commended for the practical ways that they served the church community.

Several biblical women were also teachers. I think of example as Priscilla, together with her husband Aquila. They were very influential in mentoring and teaching Apollos. Also, the Titus 2 passage tells us that older women are to be teachers of good things. And of course, every faithful mother and grandmother is called to pass on the faith to her offspring, as did Lois and Eunice.

But there are parameters for all of this. There are specific times when women have liberty to speak and specific times when they are commanded not to.

1 Timothy 2:11 and 12 says, "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." 1 Corinthians 14:34 and 35 says, "Let your women keep silence in the churches, for it is not permitted unto them to speak, but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also sayeth the law. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home, for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."

A lot could be said about how to interpret or apply these passages, but let's suffice it to say that a woman's gifts and their use in the home, in the church, and in society must all be couched in the framework of the headship order.

Women are commanded to exercise restraint in public gatherings. They are commanded not to teach or usurp authority. In other words, they are exhorted to submit. And to submit is simply to say, "Not my will, but thine be done." It is to serve. It is to make oneself a tool for another's agenda, namely God's agenda.

Neither is submission a uniquely feminine trait. The creational order shows us plainly that Christ submits to God and man submits to Christ. In fact, in the church, we are all to submit ourselves one to another in the fear of God.

So this then is God's design for womanhood, all of it. From Eve created to be a helper for Adam, to Phoebe who helped the church, from Mary who risked her reputation to be the virgin mother of the Lord, to this other Mary who washed his feet with her hair.

This is God's archetypal ideal. And when it all works exactly as God intended, it really is beautiful.

But the problem is most of us don't really experience God's ideal all the time. I'm guessing that many of you listening to that description of the way things should be immediately started to have a bit of reaction. Maybe something deep inside of you tightened up. Maybe your mind started rehearsing all the reasons why you just can't live this ideal and you're just done trying. And I totally understand that.

When I began preparing for this talk, it stirred up all kinds of issues in my own life. I began to react to real and imagined expectations that I felt I couldn't fulfill. I have had to look at my own experience of womanhood and evaluate both how far I've come and how far I have yet to go.

And in the midst of all this, God gave me a dream.

In my dream, I was standing next to a man, and he was giving me this strong, supportive side hug. I leaned against him and felt comfortable and safe. It was a feeling of complete bliss. I didn't want to leave his embrace.

Then, even while I was still dreaming, my mind began to question what was going on. I was sure this man was not my husband nor my father, and yet nothing felt inappropriate. I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling of being cherished in complete purity.

The last thing I noticed before waking was that my feet weren't actually bearing any weight. They were just dangling underneath me. The dream was so vivid that I immediately asked the Lord what it meant. And he said, "This is a picture of perfect femininity."

If this has been your experience of being feminine, if you can lean into your man and he doesn't bend, if he takes care of you but doesn't devalue you, if he leads you but doesn't discount your opinion, if you can come to him with questions and he has answers, if he holds you tight when you're scared and does not belittle your fears, if he responds to your weakness with tender care and does not despise your tears, if he appreciates your gifts and is not threatened by your strength, if he can lead without abusing his power, if he can submit without abdicating his authority, if you are free in the presence of his perfect masculinity to be a perfect complement of femininity, then truly you have experienced what it means to be a woman by God's design.

But if that list of ifs touches something in you that just makes you want to cry, if it opens wounds that you've been trying to ignore, if it exposes bitter disappointments you've been trying to deny, if it makes you hope and despair all in the same moment, if it makes you realize that your husband is not the perfect picture of masculinity and he probably never will be, then I want you to remember something very important.

You can still be a woman who is pleasing to the Lord.

I consider myself one of the very least feminine women that I know. I'm strong. I'm opinionated. When I hear the usual stereotypes of the way women think or communicate or respond, I begin to wonder if I'm broken or abnormal or scarred. Maybe you've wondered the same things. Let me tell you what I've discovered. You can still be a godly woman.

When I was growing up, my dad was a very good and loving father, but he didn't really value femininity. He told me I could be and do anything. And by that, he meant I could run a corporation or colonize the moon, not stay at home and raise 12 children.

And if you weren't raised with an understanding of biblical womanhood, if you've been tempted, like I was, to think that being a housewife is second rate and somehow unfulfilling, then I have good news for you. You can still be a godly woman.

Whereas my father didn't value femininity, my husband has not really been able to afford it. He's always been a gentle leader, and more recently, as Parkinson's takes ground and erodes his executive functions, he has needed to delegate more and more.

Consequently, when I hear that women are weaker or more emotional than men, I can't help thinking, "Not this woman." If that sounds at all like your situation, then I have important news. You can still be a godly woman.

Or maybe you're single. Maybe you're one of those sisters who just longs for companionship, longs to be cherished, longs for a man of your own, but single you remain. Maybe you're beginning to wonder if there's something wrong with you or if the longing will ever go away.

Please, dear sister, don't forget. You can still be a godly woman. Or perhaps your only experience of masculinity has been the abusive kind. If the men in your life have betrayed your trust, if you have been sexually or emotionally abused, if you have been cheated on or abandoned, if you have come to equate being feminine with being hurt, then I have something very important for you as well. You can still be a godly woman.

And the reason you can be a woman, regardless of what challenges you may face, is because Jesus is prepared to be the perfect masculine for your feminine. You can lean into Jesus, needy and broken, tired and weak, and he will not let you down. He will carry you through as no man on earth ever can or will. He will put his arm around you in that strong, protective side hug of my dream. You can snuggle into his embrace with complete peace, and you can let your feet dangle.

When I consider biblical womanhood, there's one very important characteristic which stands out above all the rest, and that's meekness. Meekness is the key to being feminine in this real world. Ultimately, the most important factor is not your personality or your skills or your preferences or your history or anything else. It is having the right spirit.

But what is meekness? How many of us actually have a working definition? Is it weakness? Is it being a pushover? In Numbers 12:3, it says, "Now the man Moses was very meek above all the men which were upon the face of the earth." Wow. He was the meekest man. I guess we should study Moses' life if we want to know about meekness. So what do we know about Moses? Was he weak? Was he sickly? Was he without skills or resources? Somebody to be pitied?

Acts 7 says this about Moses. He was born and was exceeding fair and nourished up in his father's house three months. And when he was cast out, Pharaoh's daughter took him up and nourished him for her own son. And Moses was learned in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was mighty in words and in deeds.

So in other words, from the time of his birth, Moses was recognized as an exceptional child. The King James says he was exceeding fair. What does that mean? So I looked it up. It's used only twice in the Bible, and both times it refers to Moses.

The other instance is in Hebrews 11:23, when Moses is described as a proper child. It means refined, elegant, handsome. It shares the same root with words like urbane and astute. It's interesting that this word was chosen and not a more straightforward description of a child like cute or healthy.

He must have had an air about him, a mantle of leadership upon him, even from the time of his birth. Today, we might call him an old soul, that is, someone who demonstrates maturity and understanding far beyond his years.

Another point mentioned here in Acts, and we know it already from the Old Testament accounts about Moses, he was highly educated. He had access to the best academic training available in the ancient world. He also had access to tremendous power and wealth.

He was the adopted son of Pharaoh's daughter. He was being groomed to serve as a leader in Egypt. Apparently, Moses was also endowed with a very strong sense of justice. When he witnessed an Egyptian mistreating a Hebrew, it aroused something in him. He couldn't just stand by. He wanted to make things right. He must have also been very physically strong because he slew the Egyptian, and then he buried him in the sand.

So this is really not what I expected from a description of meekness. This doesn't sound like weakness at all. So why do we call this man meek? Another biblical character who typifies meekness is Jesus. It was prophesied that he would come as one meek and seated upon a donkey. He described himself as meek and lowly in heart.

Paul would later reference Jesus' meekness beseeching the believers by the meekness and gentleness of Christ. So who is this meek man? He's the King of kings and the Lord of lords. This is the man who preached to thousands, who healed the multitudes, overturned the money changers' tables, and walked on water.

This is the man who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God. Meek? Why do we call this man meek? Because he said, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, the Son can do nothing of himself but what he seeth the Father do. For what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise."

He also said, "Not my will, but thine be done." Jesus placed limits on himself because he wanted to be meek. I like 1 Corinthians 15:28 in the NLT. It puts it this way, "When all things are under his authority, the Son will put himself under God's authority."

Philippians also gives us a good definition of meekness. It tells us that even though Jesus was indeed equal with God, he took upon him the form of a servant. He left immortality and was made in the likeness of men. He humbled himself. He became obedient. He died.

What I see here is power under control. This is a very different picture of meekness than I expected. Be like Moses. Be like Jesus. Have all the power, all the intelligence, all the ability, and bring it under the control of another.

Not because you're forced to do so, but because you're convinced that this is the best thing to do. To be meek is to take all that you have to offer in the way of talents and skills and make them available for someone else's agenda.

And in so doing, you become very valuable, valuable to your husband, to your family, to your church, to your organization, to the kingdom of God. Meekness is power that is exercised with patient restraint. Meekness is the very essence of humility and the highest form of trust.

Meekness is when we could fight back, but we remember that God has promised vengeance is mine. I will repay. Meekness is when we could manipulate and get our own way, but we choose to submit. And God has some amazing promises for those who will choose meekness.

The meek will he guide in judgment, and the meek will he teach his way. He will beautify the meek with salvation. The Lord lifteth up the meek. Good tidings are for the meek, and the meek shall inherit the earth.

I asked the Lord to show me what the opposite of meekness is, and the answer he gave me was very clear. He said, "The opposite of meekness is authentic." Oh, you might ask, what's that? Well, remember the passage in 1 Timothy 2 where it says, "But I suffer not a woman to teach nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."

The word that the King James renders usurp authority is authentic. It's a combination of the word autos, meaning self, and hentes, which means to work or act. We have some related words we use in English, like automobile, which is a self-propelled motor vehicle, or autonomous, which pertains to a political body that has the freedom to control itself or govern its own affairs.

In other words, the opposite of being meek is being entirely independent. We women may have all kinds of different personalities and abilities and preferences and valuable character qualities, but what God does not want us to be is independent.

That is not feminine. And incidentally, neither is it Christian.

To balance this, I must remind us that submission is not a mindless yes sir to every whim of the man in authority. If there is ever a question, we ought to obey God rather than men, just like Peter and John did.

Think of Sapphira in Acts chapter 5. Perhaps her conscience was pricked when her husband, Ananias, suggested that they lie about the sale price of their property. Maybe she was uncomfortable with his decision, or maybe she just blindly submitted without even thinking about it.

Either way, she decided to obey Ananias rather than God, and she paid for it with her life. To avoid being a Sapphira, we may need to make a godly appeal. I have just two points for making godly appeals.

Number one, it is so important that an appeal be done with a spirit of meekness. The man to whom you are appealing must know that you are unquestionably on his side, and you are bringing this appeal because of your concern for his life and for his eternal destiny.

Appeals made in the absence of a spirit of humility and meekness become nagging, and this can get ugly very fast. The second point is you need to choose your appeals wisely, especially if you're dealing with a very strong leader. Avoid making too many appeals and thus displaying a subtle spirit of rebellion.

Also, avoid making too few appeals, thus displaying a spirit of resignation or apathy. A husband, even a command man, rarely appreciates a woman who just has made herself a doormat for him to walk all over.

So there are many biblical and historical women who have been given to us as examples. Some are examples of what to do and some of what not to do, like Rebecca, who manipulated Isaac, or Michael, who despised David when he danced in the streets, or Jezebel, who has become the very essence of domineering womanhood. But there are also many others who have been very good examples, and some of them I've already mentioned.

But I want to tell the story of one such woman. I think her example is a good one. She's the Shunammite woman, and her story is told in some detail in 2 Kings chapter 4. When we're first introduced to her, she's described as a great woman, which either means that she was old or she was very important or maybe both. Either way, she noticed that Elisha often passed through her town, and so she constrained him to come and eat bread at her house, and this became his regular habit.

Eventually, the woman asked her husband for permission to make a little furnished room for Elisha to stay in whenever he passed through Shunam.

So permission was granted, and the prophet's room was built. At some point, Elisha decided to bless this woman for all of her hospitality, and he told Gehazi to go find out what she might want. Maybe she wants him to speak to the king or the captain of the host on his behalf, or on her behalf, rather. But she tells him she's perfectly content among her people, and she does not need any political favors.

Then Gehazi makes the observation that her husband is old and she has no children. So Elisha calls the woman and tells her that nine months later, she will embrace a son. Her first reaction was surprise and even reluctance to get her hopes up. But sure enough, she conceives and she has a son.

Years later, this son is working in the field with his father when he gets this terrible headache, and he's sent back home, and he winds up dying right there with his head in her lap. Instead of losing it, this woman does something very noteworthy. She takes the dead body, lays it on Elisha's bed, closes the door, and then says to her husband, "Send me, I pray thee, one of the young men and one of the asses, that I might run to the man of God and come again."

And her husband asks why she wants to go, and all she says is, "It shall be well." When she gets to Mount Carmel, Elisha sees her coming and sends Gehazi to see what is wrong. She basically refuses to tell Gehazi anything and continues straight to Elisha.

Elisha then gives Gehazi some instructions and sends him to the son, but again, the woman insists upon Elisha's involvement, and she tells him she will not leave unless he accompanies her. The rest of the story, we all know, Elisha raises the son from the dead, and they all live happily ever after.

There are several things that really stand out to me in this story. First of all, this woman is no pushover. She shows a lot of initiative. She has good ideas, and she acts upon them. Secondly, she's content in her home, with her people, and with her lot in life. She refuses political advantage, and she's completely at peace with being childless.

Lastly, everything this woman does is from a place of deference to her husband. She asks him for permission to build a room. She asks him to supply the donkey. She doesn't go around him. She goes through him. Maybe I'm reading into this story because of my own situation, but I totally get it that she doesn't tell her husband that the son has died.

She realizes she needs to act, and so she does, decisively and effectively. She's driven by a faith that allows her to assure her husband with all sincerity, "It shall be well." I feel like this is a good example of what it can look like to exercise meekness in the context of womanhood.

It means being strong in crisis, taking initiative when needed, acting in faith, pursuing the man of God, but doing it all in the context of home, hospitality, and reverence for her husband.

Before I wrap this up, I'd like to take a minute and insert a few practical thoughts, more specifically for single sisters. It's easy to get the impression, particularly in conservative Christian circles, that getting married should be the ultimate goal of every godly young woman.

While I acknowledge that being married is a very wholesome desire and being married is certainly the norm, there are advantages to remaining single. There are things that a single sister can do that would be impossible for a married woman.

As you know, the Apostle Paul even advises that a virgin woman should remain unmarried, and he gives two main reasons. Number one, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit, and number two, that she may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

That really is a blessing. To be set apart for holy purposes and free to attend upon the Lord without the distraction of husband and children, that can be very helpful. But here's a warning. The Greek word translated without distraction comes from the same root as the one describing Martha when it says she was cumbered about much serving.

It's interesting that Martha, single as far as we know, was cumbered in exactly the same way as a housewife. So just being single doesn't mean our focus is exclusively on the things of God. Unmarried sisters, beware. Don't say no to marriage just to be able to do your own thing. You will wind up a Martha.

Martha is an archetype for those who choose to relate to Jesus on the plane of his humanity. They choose to focus on what they can do for Jesus instead of what he can do through them. Because of the wrong focus, a Martha will almost always eventually find herself asking, "Lord, do you not care?"

On the surface, this looks like a plea for justice, but at its root, it is self-pity. Single sisters, it is totally normal for you to long for a husband, but it is totally okay for you to fully embrace the singlehood that God has for you, whether it's for right now or for your whole life.

And newly married sisters, I have a word of advice for you too. Maybe you're experiencing the letdown of realizing that marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Don't get me wrong, marriage is wonderful, but it is not everything.

If you are feeling unfulfilled, bored, or lonely, get with God, get creative. Because whether you're married or single, a man will never fully satisfy your deepest longings for covenantal love. We are hardwired for eternity. Only God can fulfill our deepest needs.

Now can never deliver what only eternity can provide. Everything we experience here is just a shadow of what is to come.

In closing, I'd like to think about 1 Corinthians 15:10. It says, "The grace of God, it is by the grace of God that I am what I am, and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain, but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me." This is so much my testimony. By the grace of God, I am a woman, and God's grace was not given for no purpose or to no avail. I have labored diligently, yet it has not been me, but the grace of God which was with me. If there has been any fruit in my life as a woman, it is not because I am naturally feminine or disposed to submission or talented in any of the jobs that this role has required of me.

Rather, what fruit there may be is due to the fact that God's grace has been sufficient. It is due to the fact that my Savior, Jesus Christ, came in the flesh and taught me what it means to be meek. He taught me in word and in deed how to have power, but choose not to use it, how to have intelligence, but choose to follow the will of another, how to have abilities and choose to use them in service to others.

May he give you the grace to do the same. Thank you so much. Well, my cup is full. And in referring to the conversation with Marielle yesterday, Marielle, I can say that Jesus has abundantly blessed your five loaves.

So God bless you for sharing. Thank you, Doreen.

I loved your definitions of meekness. I wrote some of those down here. And they're very powerful. Using our power and our gifts and our skill and using it to help someone else's agenda. Meekness being humility, the highest form of trust, and many more. I have more written here.

But what do you ladies want to ask or share? Feel free to turn your camera on and ask your questions or submit them in the chat box, and Lynelle will read them for Marielle to answer.

Thank you very much, Marielle, for speaking. I was very blessed by what you shared. I think it's a powerful topic today, and I feel like that was probably very challenging and humbling for you to share on it because it's so powerful and amazing. But my question is, what were the two books that you read, if you don't mind sharing them?