“Finding God’s Purpose for Our Pain” by Grant Bontrager

The one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

This is Strength to Strength, and we welcome you here today for a testimony of a brother's life. And one of our goals here at Strength to Strength is to do that, to share life testimonies that challenge and inspire other believers on the journey. And, you know, we need those testimonies. We need to see God at work. And sometimes there are seasons of our lives where we wonder, "Where is God?"

But looking around and looking into other places, we can see God at work, and it encourages us and gives us much hope. And so this morning we welcome Grant Bontrager here to our call to share his story, and I'll read the description of his talk here in just a moment. I've never met Grant, but I know some of his relatives, and so in some ways I feel like I know him. So I'm excited to have him here and share this talk. And I've never heard your talk, either, Grant. I've heard people who have listened to your talk have been challenged and inspired, and so I'm anticipating that here this morning.

So here's the description of his talk here this morning. Grant Bontrager was born as a result of sexual assault. Although he was raised in a loving Christian home, he still struggled intensely with identity, questions about his past, and the belief that God had a plan for his strange, confusing life.

It wasn't until he went to a counselor, took a deep look at his heart, identified the pain caused by those questions, and brought that pain to Jesus that he was able to find his identity and the answer to the many "why" questions.

Grant has found his calling in life to go share his story in prisons and churches, and to walk with others who are struggling with painful things in their lives.

Grant and his wife—oh, I accidentally clicked away from your page here—Grant and his wife Jenn and their two children, Spencer and Zayla, live in Arlington, Kansas. They enjoy traveling together to different churches and prisons as Grant shares his story. Jenn helps by cooking for volunteers who come along to assist in the ministry they work with.

And at some point here in our talk, Grant will kind of share about some of the ministry they're involved in with prisons. He told me a little bit about it, and it's quite inspiring. Grant also recently wrote a book, and I'm sorry, Grant, I was going to ask you this question.

And when did this book come out? Maybe you told me, I just missed that part. When did this book hit the shelves? It was early October of last year. Okay. Okay, so it's a very new book. Glenn, if you could pop it up on the screen there. I couldn't find my copy here this morning. It must be one of my children's rooms. Thank you. You can see the book there. And who published that? Christianate Ministries. Okay.

Okay, so thank you, Glenn, for sharing that book. And we do sell that here on our store as well at Strength to Strength Books. Okay. Before we jump into your talk, Grant, I would like to pray for you.

So let's bow our heads and pray. Father, we bow our heads here this morning and thank you for your kindness to us and for your mercy upon us. Father, I'm sure as you look into our world, as you look into our hearts, you see many ways that we're broken, many ways that we're needy. You see our pain, and that causes you much pain. We know that it says in Scripture that when you look at us, you pity us as the Father pities his children. And so we thank you, Lord, for your mercy, your kindness, your interest in us. And Father, we thank you for even in that pain, you came and walked among us. And because of that, we have this incredible advocate with you, and that is Jesus Christ, your Son, our elder brother, who's there at the throne interceding for us, who's there so interested in your people here on earth.

And so, Father, we come to you this morning in Jesus' name, and Father, we ask that you would pour out your grace upon Grant in a special way here this morning as he again shares his story. And Father, I ask that you would give him wisdom, that you would give him clarity, that you would give him strength, and that also you would give him protection. Father, I know that when we share our stories of our struggles, that sometimes the evil one will find ways to come in and discourage us or tempt us. And so, Father, I pray for a hedge of protection around our brother. And Father, for all the ones who will listen to this, that are listening this morning, and that will listen in the future in recordings, Father, I pray that you would meet each one of us in a special way and minister to our needs, Lord.

And Father, we thank you for the hope that we have here this morning in Christ, and we ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Okay. Grant, go ahead. All right. Well, good to be here on here this morning. And yeah, I hope that this morning can be a challenge to everyone who listens to it, whether it's now or in the future. Yeah. So my story is very, very different from most other stories.

But there's one thing that each one of us has in common, and that is hurt and pain, difficult things in our lives that we don't understand at the time.

So my story, kind of the background for the story begins about, oh, back in the late '50s, early '60s. So my grandparents, their names were Elden and Mary Ellen Bontrager, got married, and just all they wanted to do was just have a family, live a normal Mennonite life.

But God, in his wisdom, had other plans for their lives. Their first daughter, Lynette, was born, and they began to realize that they noticed that she was not maturing like other children her age. And just they began, they were concerned that something wasn't right. So they went to a doctor, and he confirmed that she was handicapped. She would never live a normal life. She would always be their little girl.

So they were obviously devastated by that news. So there were, I believe, four other children who were born to them, and they were all normal and healthy.

And then they had another daughter who was born. Her name was Faith. And she, they soon realized, had the same condition that Lynette had. The doctors would have diagnosed it as cerebral palsy, but I think there's probably another medical term for it somewhere out there.

But that's what they diagnosed it as. And so Grandpa lived or Grandpa worked full-time in a factory and farmed on the side. And so he'd get up at 4:00 in the morning to go to work and work hard all day long and come home and farm, get in the house late at night, and the girls are crying.

And they would cry pretty much all night. And a man needs his sleep. So it finally got to the point where they simply could not care for them as they needed to. So they were desperate for something, some help. So they heard about a state-run mental hospital several hours from home where they would possibly be able to put the girls. So they went down and checked it out, and they felt good about it. So they ended up it was a fairly fast decision or how everything happened. They ended up taking them down there, Faith and Lynette. Lynette would have been about nine years old, and Faith would have been about five years old when they took them down.

That was a very, very difficult thing for them to do. To them, it felt like they were giving their children away, giving up on their girls. So their life went on. They had another daughter who was born. She was normal and healthy.

Several years later then, another daughter was born. Their youngest daughter, Regina, was born. And they soon realized that she was handicapped as well. That was terribly, terribly hard for them to accept that. But they talked about it as a family, and the children said, "We're not putting another daughter, another sister in the hospital." And so by that point, the children were old enough that they could care for her at home. So that's what they did. They kept her there and cared for her as a family.

So they had a lot of good times in life, but they also had a lot of discouragement, a lot of questions. Why do we have to be the ones with these sisters? So life went on, and all the children that got married were married. It was about 25 years after they put the girls in the home that they got a phone call one afternoon from the president of this hospital. And he just said that there was an emergency had come up with one of the girls, and they were coming out to their place to have an emergency meeting.

Well, they had really had no idea what to expect. They knew that Faith had been having some health issues, and so they kind of assumed that it was probably something to do with that. Well, they got out there, and they sat down at the kitchen table for this meeting.

And the president told them that Faith was six months pregnant. She weighed about 60 pounds when she got pregnant. Everything she ate went through a straw. So it was very obvious what had happened, and it was a very, very high-risk situation.

He told them that if you're going to have an abortion, you need to do it now. And obviously, they were devastated by this, but they obviously knew that God had a plan for this. And in the moment, it's really hard to see God's plan through something like that. But they had a meeting with the doctor the next morning, the next day. And my grandma, she told the doctor that two wrongs don't make a right and that abortion is out of the question.

So they chose not to have an abortion. They knew that there was a good chance that they would probably end up that they could end up with another handicapped child. But they chose to believe they chose to believe that God could somehow redeem the situation.

So at that initial meeting, when they came out to the hospital or came out to their place, they told the family that they were going to do DNA testing on all the nurses just to find out who had done this. And so my biological father knew there was no way he'd get by with it. He was a nurse there.

He was 21 years old, just a young guy. And so he turned himself in. His name is Jeff. He turned himself in, and he was charged with one count of rape, and he served one month short of 10 years in prison.

And if you know anything about prison life, there's kind of a pecking order, and those guys are pretty much on the bottom. So he got moved around quite a bit because of the violence that he received. So I was born way early. They're not sure exactly how far along I was when I was born. I weighed 3 pounds and 6 ounces when I was born.

Yeah, there were a lot of doctors who would not take the case because they said it's too high risk. But there was a doctor who they found who said there's Asian women who are not much bigger than she is, and they're having children. So he said, "We're going to let nature take its course, and we'll do a C-section if we have to."

She was able to deliver me naturally, which was a miracle because they were concerned that I would not get the nutrients that I needed. So yeah, I was born naturally, yeah, 3 pounds, 6 ounces. So I lived in an incubator for a while, which so I was adopted at birth by my uncle and his wife. It would have been Faith's brother and his wife. They had two children of their own. And my brother, Greg, he lives right here in our area. And my sister and her husband are over in Indonesia, working over there. So yeah, I was raised in a loving Christian home, supportive parents, supportive siblings.

But I always knew that I was adopted. There's a fly on my screen. I always knew I was adopted, and I always knew that my biological mom was not like other people. And as a four or five-year-old boy, knowing that your mom is not normal, not like other people, I began having questions about, "Why am I here? Why is my mom the way she is? Who is my dad? Where did he go? Why can't I see him?

Why can't I just have a normal life and have a normal mom and dad?" And I did, but just in the back of my mind, there was all those nagging questions about, "Why am I here? Where was God?" And I think a lot of people struggle with that question. Where was God?

Where is God in these questions and hurt? So I knew just enough about the situation to know that it was very difficult for grandpas, for my parents to talk about. So I kept all those questions inside, and I didn't let anybody know what I was dealing with. I just tried to live my life as smoothly as I could so nobody would know that I'm struggling because struggling people are really messed up. Well, we all struggle with things in our lives. But I think that's one way that the devil can trap us is because we're the ones that struggle with this.

So growing up, I had a lot of struggles, a lot of questions about who I was and things like that. I gave my life to Christ when I was eight. A good experience for me. But deep down, I still was struggling with these questions and not knowing where to go for answers.

So when I was 12, Dad took me aside one morning. And he was never the kind of guy to get super emotional. But this particular morning, he became very emotional. And I was like, "What's wrong with Dad?" But he told me the story. He told me what happened.

And as a young boy who's already struggling with identity, who am I? Why am I here?

I'm really glad he told me. I'm really glad he did. But that brought so many more questions. Why did my dad do what he did? Where is he now? Why can't I see him?

Where was God? And so all these questions that I was facing, all these questions I was struggling with, and I felt like I had nowhere to go for my answers. So my early teen years were very difficult for me. I struggled with just lots of bitterness. I became very bitter, very angry at God for allowing me to be brought into the situation. I felt like God had brought me here and just kind of dropped me here on this earth and just left me sitting.

So yeah, I really struggled with lots of bitterness and anger towards God in my early teen years. And I began looking for something to drown out my pain because I didn't know where to go. So I began looking for something, some way to drown out my pain. And for me, I found my Band-Aid, I guess, in sexual immorality, all those types of things.

But all that did was all that did was create more guilt and shame. And I felt so isolated to begin with that I'm the only one that struggles with this. This is all my fault. I'm an accident. All these things that the devil throws at us. But to the outside world, I was trying to look like everything was okay.

When I was 15, I joined the church. I was baptized. That was a good experience for me, getting to know or becoming a part of the church, plugging in there at my home church. But deep down, way down, I had all these questions, all this hurt that I was just kind of dragging along through life and not knowing where to go with this pain.

When I was 17, a friend of mine was in a motorcycle accident. We went down to Lott, Texas, for the youth fellowship meetings and picked up a young girl from Oklahoma. Stephanie Wengert was her name. And I knew her fairly well. Her family was up in our area a fair amount.

But yeah, Sunday afternoon, she was in a motorcycle accident and passed away later that night at the hospital. And being there that night at the hospital was just one of the probably one of the darkest nights of my life, just asking God why. It just didn't make sense why God would take her. And deep down, in my heart, I knew that if that had been me, I didn't know where I was I didn't know where I would have ended up.

And instead of allowing God to use her death to bring me back to Himself, I did the only thing that I knew to do with my pain, my hurt, and that was run. I kept running from my pain, trying to find something to drown out this pain and this hurt that I was just this bag that I was dragging along. So I finally got to the point in my life where I was ready to leave home. I was desperate for something.

But by the grace of God, Mom and Dad came to realize that I was really struggling with some questions. They knew that I was struggling with some things. They didn't know what, but they knew that I was struggling. And so they sent me to counseling with a couple in our area.

They're just a very sweet older couple. They use John Regere's teaching, Caring for the Heart. And a lot of people have some questions about counseling. And I know there's some fairly sketchy counseling places out there. But this is just I would say it's I've heard it said recently that counseling is more of just intense discipleship versus actually counseling, just somebody to come alongside you and walk with you through that pain. And that's what I needed.

And so they were yeah, they were very, very patient with me as I went to them. And I shared my story with them as I knew it. And it took three or four I think about three sessions for me to actually get to the bottom of my pain and identify all that pain that I was actually facing in my life because a lot of my a lot of the things that I was dragging along with me, I didn't even know because I was so busy just running from my pain.

So it took a while, but we finally found identified all this pain and this hurt. And then we went to Jesus, and we took that pain to Jesus, the ultimate healer, the true healer. And it was a prayer I've never experienced in my life.

We went back to that little boy with all that hurt, all those questions. And I would ask him a question, and he would respond with a thought or a picture in my mind. And the first question I asked him was, "Why am I here?

Why was I created?" And he said, "You're here for a purpose." And I asked him, "What is that purpose?" And he said, "So I could be glorified through a bad situation." And at the time, I wondered, "How in the world is God ever going to redeem a situation like this?"

And I asked him, "When I was in the hospital, when I was born, were you there?" And he said, "Yes." And he gave me a picture of him holding me there in the hospital. It was just so beautiful.

But the biggest question that I had for him was, "Why didn't he protect my mom?" So I asked him, "When my mom was being raped, were you there?" And he said, "Yes." I asked him, "What were you doing?" And he said, "I was crying."

I asked him, "Why didn't you stop him?" And he said, "Because I have a plan and a purpose for your life." And I asked him what that is. He said, "I want you to go to prisons and churches and share your story."

And at the time, I didn't understand. I had just turned 19 that week when I went through counseling. And so at the end of the prayer, I gave everything to God. I said, "God, I don't know what you have for me. I don't know where you're going to go, but take me. I'm yours."

The other thing I didn't realize is where God is where God would take me. I had been to places I never imagined in my wildest dreams. Yeah. Several months later, I was just processing life still. And one night, I was having my devotions, and I just I didn't know how this was going to work, how it was going to look. I just cried out to God and said, "God, I don't know how I can do this. Who's going to support me in my ministry?"

And God came back with the biggest answer that He could. He said, "All of heaven is behind you, cheering you on." And when I think about that, I think of I know of many people who have gone on before, but I think especially of the millions of babies who were never given a chance. And I've had the opportunity to be at a number of pregnancy care centers for their annual fundraisers.

Those are always special times, being there to share and encourage people there. So in January of 2012, I went to Calvary Bible School in Arkansas. I was signed up for three weeks but left after two weeks because of Dad's health. He had cancer, and he was struggling with cancer. He had been battling it for about seven years. So I knew going down that I might possibly have to come home. But the one night before I left, it was before the evening service, and I had never shared my story with anybody before. But that night, before the service, I prayed, and I said, "God, give me a verse or a passage of scripture that I can use for when I share my story."

That night, the guy who was reading or was preaching read from Jeremiah 1. And I'm going to read verses 5 through 10. It says, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I sanctified you. I ordained you a prophet to the nations."

Then said I, "Ah, Lord God, behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth." But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am a youth.' For you shall go to all to whom I send you, and whatever I command you, you shall speak.

Do not be afraid of their faces, for I am with you to deliver you," says the Lord. Then the Lord put forth His hand to touch my mouth. And the Lord said to me, "Behold, I have put my words in your mouth. See, I have this day set you over the nations and over the kingdoms, to root out and to pull down, to destroy and to throw down, to build and to plant."

When he read those verses, I fell out of my chairs. Those verses have been so special to me over the years. So like I said, I had to come home early because of Dad's health, and he passed away about a month later. He was 53 years old when he passed away. So that was a very difficult time for us as a family, but we know where he's at.

So it was around the time of Dad's death that I felt yeah, I decided I wanted to try to start the search for my biological dad. But I really had no idea where to start. I mean, I knew he'd been in prison and served his time, and that was about it.

But there was a gentleman that I worked with at the time, an older gentleman who had been in prison with him. And I heard that he had been in prison with my dad. And the one day, we were working together on a project, and we were just chatting. And I asked him if he knows this guy, Jeff Walker is my dad's name.

And he's like, "Oh, yeah. I know him very well. We're friends on Facebook." And I got his phone number and everything. They had remained in contact after they both were released. And he's like, "Man, if you guys ever want to ever want to meet, just let me know. I'll be glad to arrange a time, and we can meet at my place." So there was my avenue to find him. But it took me about another year to get up the courage to do it.

So yeah, about a year later, I decided it was time to do this. So I had talked to the aunts and uncles and grandpas and mom about it, and they had all given me their blessing. It was pretty hard for them to think about the idea of me going to find him because I think they were concerned that I would just completely leave the chat, so to speak, go move in with him and all that, which that was never my intention. I had a very, very good family, very supportive family. But that was something that I wanted. I wanted to know who he was.

So about a year later, I was on my way to work one morning, and I worked at a storage barn shop at the time. But typically, I was out on-site, building garages and whatever else. But this particular day, I was in the shop. It was a Thursday morning.

And on my way to work, I prayed and like, "Okay, God, if this is supposed to if this is supposed to happen, have Dale, my coworker, and I meet in private because I didn't really want to ask him in front of the rest of the coworkers."

So went on to work, didn't think much of it.

And first break came. We were all walking up to the shop or up to the break room. And here came Dale, my coworker, walking through, and I'm like, "Oh, great." So we stopped and started chatting a little bit, and everybody left. And I said, "Hey, I think I'm ready to meet I'm ready to meet Jeff whenever it works."

And he was all excited, "Oh, yeah. I'll see what I can do." So I went on and didn't think much of it. I figured it'd be a week or so before he gets back with me. Well, he came back about 10:45, and he's like, "Yeah, we'll Saturday at 2:00 work." And this was Thursday at 10:45, and I was not quite prepared for that. But I said, "Yeah, I think that'll work." So Saturday came, and I was an emotional wreck. I mean, one minute, I was fired. The next minute, I was just completely freaking out. But I went and went up there to Dale's place, and I walked in, and he was standing in there with his wife.

And I shook his hand, and I just had a peace come over me like I guess I'd never felt before. Just that piece of the puzzle was in place. So at that meeting, when we met that first time, I asked him if he'd be interested if he would be willing to meet any of the rest of the family.

And yeah, he said he'd be willing to meet whoever wants to. So several months later, we had a family reunion in our area, and all the aunts and uncles from out of state and grandpas and yeah, my Aunt Carolyn here.

My Uncle Myron, unless you're locally, he had to work for some reason. They have since met. But we were all able to go to Dale's place and meet him and his wife. That was probably one of the most intense meetings that I have ever been at.

But it was also probably the most beautiful meeting I've ever been at. Yeah, just to see the power of forgiveness. I just remember my aunt just weeping as she tells him that she forgives him for what he did.

That spoke to him so strongly because that was something that he struggled with himself, was just forgiving himself for what had happened.

So several years later, June of 2015, he texted me one afternoon and said that he and his wife had become Christians. He had given his life to Christ while he was in prison. He had written grandpa's a letter of apology. It was through the Offender Victims Ministries.

And he had written grandpa's a letter of apology. And they had got that letter right over the time that Regina, the youngest one that was handicapped, right over the time that she had passed away. It was a very difficult time for them. So it took grandma several years, but she wrote him back and forgave him for what he did. And that spoke to him so strongly that he gave his life to Christ because of it. But he had been visiting with his pastor, and his pastor had helped him rededicate his life. And his wife had become a Christian at that meeting.

And he said that the next thing other than Bible study was to be baptized. And he said that the baptism was about a month away. And he wondered if I would be willing to come and be there for the baptism. And yeah, I said, "Sure. I'd be glad to do that."

So I was planning to go down for the baptism. About a week before the baptism, he texts me again. And he said that he'd been visiting with his pastor about it, and his pastor had told him that if there's anybody that he would like to have help baptize him, why that would be okay.

And he wondered if I'd be willing to do that. And I'm like, "Sure. Yeah." So this was not your typical baptism that we're used to as Mennonites. This was a baptism at the town pool with a swimming party and ice cream social afterward. So I felt a little out of place in my blue jeans. But I went down in the water, and I helped baptize him. And that was really special, being able to be there with him as he took that step in his Christian walk.

Things have been difficult for him the last number of years. His wife's family found out that he had a charge, and they kind of essentially made him have a divorce. So it's been difficult for him. I keep in contact with him occasionally. We'll text back and forth some, but not very often.

So it was about three weeks after the baptism that Faith, my biological mom, passed away. We were in Montana when we got the word that she was not doing well. We knew that she had been declining for a while.

I almost flew home because the one thing I wanted probably more than anything was to be there when she passed away. But it sounded like she would probably make it till we got back. So I didn't fly home. I stayed out there.

But yeah, she flew home before I was able to make it back. That was really hard for me, yeah, not to be able to be there.

And yeah, her funeral was probably the hardest funeral that I've ever been at. There's just something about our biological parents. We all want that connection. We all want that relationship with our parents. That was something that I was never able to have with her because of her condition. We would go visit her, or we'd go visit them at their home. But you could say hi and talk to them, but they could never respond at all. They were functioning at around three to six months of age their whole lives.

So yeah, I was never really able to have a relationship with her. But yeah, I look forward to that reunion someday.

So yeah, I'll never forget my Uncle Dan at the family service there before the funeral. He said that he knows that of all the people who support me in my ministry, he knows that she's my number one supporter. And that just, yeah, that just means so much to me when I think about that. Yeah. So God has been so good.

Yeah, I've been blessed in so many ways. Yeah. One of the things that I struggled with was knowing if God would what is God's plan for my life?

One of the things that the devil throws at us is at least he threw it at me was that I would never get married because of my circumstances, of my situation. Yeah, I felt God leading me to get married, but he wasn't leading the girls. Let's just put it that way.

And so that was a difficult those were some difficult times for me. But yeah, it was about January of 2020. I told God that I'm done looking for a wife, and if you want me to get married, you're going to have to bring her here, to Kansas, because my options were kind of running out. And I didn't know where to go. So I just decided I'm going to be a happy bachelor, and if God leads a wife to me, we'll take it as it comes.

So little did I know that God was working in someone else's life. It was a girl from Missouri. She was raised in a fellowship church, and she moved out. She has two brothers that live here in our area, and I knew them fairly well.

So she moved out March 1st of 2020. And it was several months later that I heard that this girl had moved into our community, which this was 2020, and you couldn't get to know somebody if you wanted to.

And I thought it'd be kind of nice to get to know her a little bit before I actually do anything. And my buddies were really encouraging me to do something about this, but I was about too scared to try.

So we saw each other twice over that summer. And there was a youth Christmas banquet in our area. So my buddies were trying to get me convinced to ask her out or ask her to the Christmas banquet. That's something that we do around here is a guy can take a girl for the evening just to be nice. And so I thought I'd be nice and take the new girl without trying to be too obvious.

So I asked her if she'd be interested in going, and she said she would. But then somebody who was more scared of COVID than me decided to cancel the whole event. So I was back to square one and wasn't sure what I should do. And my brother or her brother told me just he was like, "Take her out for coffee."

So we went out for coffee December the 5th of 2020 and got engaged February the 21st and got married in June. So when you know, you know. And she's an amazing wife. She supports me very well. We have two beautiful children. Spencer is three, and Zayla is about 15 months old. Yeah, one of the things that I always told myself was if I would ever get married and have a little girl, I would name her after Faith. So her name is Zayla Faith.

And she's a real little she's a sweetheart. Yeah, she's very special.

So yeah, God has led me in many, many ways. Yeah, I've been to many pregnancy care centers or several pregnancy care centers, a lot of churches.

Yeah. And you had mentioned the book earlier. Yeah, the book was released last fall, and I was we as a family were kind of lairy about it in some ways because you have one chance to write a book, and if it's not written right away, you're kind of stuck with it.

But we were very yeah, we felt very good about the way it was written. And it's been a real blessing to see where God has led that.

And kind of because of that, God has led me within the last several months very, very clearly to go into full-time ministry, working with ministry out of South Carolina or North Carolina, actually, called From Pain to Purpose, where we take the Caring for the Heart counseling concept, which is the same counseling that I went through where I found help.

And we take that kind of we take that counseling or that concept into a prison setting with 60 inmates and 30 volunteers. And we spend a week we spend a week with teaching times with everybody and then dividing up into small groups and inviting the inmates to be open and vulnerable and share their stories, share their hurt, and then leading them in a simple prayer, taking them to Jesus and allowing Him to speak and allowing Him to show them where He was in those moments of pain.

We spend a week with them initially and then come on several months later for a follow-up and then coming in several months later for a training, training these inmates in that way. And then it builds that whole system within the prison.

There's actually a prison in Florida that we a lot of the prisons that we go to are in Florida because they're just more open to that type of thing. And one of the prisons that we've been at actually has inmates inside, two inmates who are going to be leading out in a session. They are actually beginning to teach this whole concept within the prison amongst themselves. And it is so beautiful to see it happen.

Yeah, God is leading. God is working. So yeah, like I said, we just started.

Yeah, a lot of what I'll be doing is sharing my story different places like that, as well as different events that I've been asked to speak at, different churches or events. We have three trips planned this year. And yeah, we're currently raising funds for a motor home that we found here about an hour from our place. Yeah, it's a 20-year-old motor home, but it's virtually brand new. It's been stored inside its whole basically, its whole life. So currently raising funds for that. So yeah, God is good. He's been faithful. And yeah, I guess I would just encourage anybody listening to this or anybody who will listen to this just remember that you're not alone in your pain.

I think that's one of the biggest ways that the devil gets us down and discourages us is the fact or he makes us think that we're all alone. And if we're willing to find somebody, find a safe person to talk to and share those hurts with them because there's a lot of people who go through life with hurt, and they think that it's always somebody else's problem. If we're willing to just open ourselves up and be vulnerable, we'll find out that there's a lot of people who are just like us who are struggling.

Yeah. There's a quote that I really like. It says, "Owning your story may be difficult, but it's not nearly as difficult as running from it." So don't run from your pain. Yeah, allow Jesus to use your pain and turn it into purpose.

So yeah, that's kind of my story.

Thank you, brother, for sharing that this morning, for that touching story.

I thought of this verse here in Revelation 12:1-11 that says, "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony." And that is a powerful testimony.

Like I said, I got your book. I looked through it. I didn't get a chance to read it. And I hadn't realized just the incredible redemption there and just the reality of you going into the waters of baptism there with your Father.

That right there is redemption. Who would have thought?

And it's people who are allowing themselves to be healed, to become better through the brokenness rather than bitter. The story could be so different, so, so different if your grandmother hadn't sent a letter back to your father, yeah, if you hadn't been willing to really look at your brokenness and deal with that. So thank you for sharing. Thank you for being willing to share this story. I find it deeply, deeply touching.

Is there any other just encouragement for our brother Grant or questions from anyone here on the call?

Thank you, Grant, for telling your story there. Such an emotional story. And I'm sure it doesn't just get easy because you've done it often. So yeah, thanks for being willing to be vulnerable and put it out there. But you're right.

We feel like we're alone in our pain so much, and we think everybody in front of us doesn't have pain. But if we just knew, they're probably looking at us the same way. And so thanks for giving your example of being able to share our stories and share God's redemption in it. So God bless you.

Thank you. Yeah, like you said, it doesn't get easier. But I have found that as I open up and share, I find healing for myself as I continue to process. Yeah, as I continue to share my story, there's continually things that come up that I can continue to find healing for.

That's always a blessing. And just to see how God uses brokenness. And when we're willing to be open and vulnerable, that's when we can find healing. That's when we can find healing is when we're willing to be open and accept help.

Hey, Grant.

So I'm Grant's brother-in-law. I got to be married to Grant's sister.

And so I've kind of watched this story from part of the family from way back, all the way from when I heard the news that Grant was going to be born when I was about seven years old. So yeah, we're cheering for you, Grant.

So my family currently lives in Indonesia, and I've actually had numerous opportunities to tell my friends there about your story.

And one of the unique opportunities I had there was a friend of mine, older gentleman, retired schoolteacher, had a daughter who had the same condition that Grant's biological mother had, cerebral palsy, I mean, looked like, yeah, pretty much the same thing.

And they were able to raise her and keep her about 15 years, and then she passed away. Anyway, so it was a unique opportunity to share Grant's unusual story with them. And I love to see when people can see the redemption, see good things coming out of bad situations.

Thank you, Levi. It's good to see you, brother. Levi is back in the States. You guys are probably going to see each other today, right, or tomorrow. So yeah, it's good to have you back on this side.

All right. Any more thoughts or testimonies? I see Grant's cousin Brian somewhere down in the south. Okay. Okay.

What do you have to say, Brian? Thank you very much for sharing your story, Grant.

Your story and your life are a real blessing to me.

Keep fighting the good fight of faith. It's a good fight. Give it all you've got.

Will do. Okay. Well, it was such a blessing to have you on here this morning, Grant. Thank you for sharing your story. God bless you and your wife and your family in a special way as you go in the prisons and minister to the least of these.

Think of the verse there in Matthew 5, "What you have done to the least of these, my brethren, you've done unto me." And so take that seriously and share your testimony and minister to these men. And you're uniquely equipped to do that. And may God guide you and direct you.

And I'll leave this with all of us here. I wonder, can you imagine the reunion in heaven someday with your mother? And that brother who shared that with you on the day of your funeral, how did he say that again?

On the day of Anne's funeral, how did he say that? He said, "Of all the people who support me in my ministry, he knows that she's my number one supporter." Yeah. Yeah.

That's very insightful.

And he said, "Brother, opening up our minds to the spiritual realm and what is happening there." That's beautiful.

It's honoring. Very honoring.

Yeah. Well, I would love to see us close with prayer here. And Levi, could you just close us with. Okay. So, Lord, we thank you for your work of redemption. You're a good author, Lord, and you write good stories. Thank you for writing good things in Grant's life. You were there from the beginning, and you're still with Grant and all of our family. Lord, we ask that you will continue to be glorified as Grant shares his story and shares the hope and the redemption that comes from Jesus. I pray that many lives will be touched in many different parts of the world, especially the dear folks in prisons who are locked up, who've messed up.