Discussion Jumpstarter
Study leader reference - not a definitive answer
Question 3
The speaker claims “people don’t change unless they either hear themselves or see themselves,” and ties this to examining ourselves before communion; what practices could help a church become the kind of community where people actually “see and hear themselves” without becoming defensive or performative?
Another way to ask: He says people change when they “see” or “hear” themselves, and connects this to examining ourselves before communion. What habits could help your church do that in a helpful way without people getting defensive or fake?
Discussion Jumpstarter
Direct Answer
The transcript suggests a church can help people change by normalizing self-examination—especially the habit of asking, “what am I not hearing, and what am I not seeing?”—and by encouraging honest awareness rather than merely receiving external correction.
- He says, “people don’t change unless they either hear themselves or see themselves.”
- He explains why outside critique often fails: if someone says, “you should change,” but “you can’t see it… you can’t change.”
- He emphasizes practices of awareness: “learning to see ourselves and hear what we say is really important.”
- He ties it to communion: “the Bible actually talks about… examine ourselves before communion.”
- He calls for making this “a way of life,” not just a moment: “learn to live, make this a way of life.”
- He describes self-examination as curiosity about blind spots: “what am I not hearing, and what am I not seeing?” as “the beginning of change.”