Harlan & Wilma

Good morning, everyone. Let's begin by singing number 77. Now that I had 1,000 voices.

Number 77. We're going to sing verses 1, 2, and 4, and maybe verse 3.

All that I had. A thousand voices, and with a thousand tongues to tell, a living whom the earth rejoices, who all things wisely does and well. My grateful heart would then be free. My grateful heart would then be free.

My grateful heart would then be free to tell what God has done for me.

Before us leaps so green and tender that dance for joy in summer air. Ye little crises bright and slender, ye flowers so wondrous, sweet and fair, that live to show His praise above. That live to show His praise above.

That live to show His praise above help me to make His glory known.

O Father, dang I might beseech Thee to listen to my. Earthly lace, a nobler straining hand shall reach Thee when I with angels hymn Thy praise. And learn of mither chords to sing. And learn of mither chords to sing. And learn of mither chords to sing of the Hallelujahs to my King.

Number 14.

Number 14.

Let all things now living a song of thanksgiving to God, the Creator, triumphantly raise, who fashioned and made us protected and saved us, who still rides a song to the end of our days. God's banners are our assets, lights grow steep for us, a pillar of fire shining forth in the night.

Till shadows have vanished and darkness is banished, as forward we travel from light into light.

His body enforces the stars in their courses, and sun in its dormant obediently shines. The hills and the mountains, the rivers and fountains, the deeps of the ocean proclaim Him divine. We too shall be voicing our love and rejoicing with glad adoration a song that us raise.

Till all things now living united thanksgiving to God in the highest hosts and our end praise.

Number 31.

Number 31.

For the praise of God your hearts prepare, approach His throne with fear. With all your soul His might declare, and all the earth shall hear. Lift up your voice, sing loud your song, the Lord Jehovah raise. The Lord Jehovah raise.

Though all creation wide and broad will join with the sons of men, as we exalt our sovereign God and raise His name again. Lift up your voice, sing loud your song, the Lord Jehovah raise. The Lord Jehovah raise.

Our sovereign God has stood to serve, and we are richly blessed. With graces we do not deserve, He now must have our best. Lift up your voice, sing loud your song, the Lord Jehovah raise. The Lord Jehovah raise.

I want to extend a welcome to each one here this morning and greet you in Christ's name. A day Wilma and I have been looking forward for several months, and it's finally arrived. And as we think about life and our lives, we aren't young people anymore, and it's a little unusual type of wedding, you might say. And so we're here just the same because God has brought us together. We're thoroughly convinced of that. And we think of our past lives, and I wanted to think of that a little bit. We've had former spouses, and we've lost loved ones, whether it's brother, spouse, sister, mum and dad.

And three of my children have lost both of their parents.

But yet, in a way, it's because of all that that we're here today.

And all of that has had an effect on our lives of who we are and has affected us, whether we think it has or not. But it has had an effect, and it has had a good effect on my life, having Deb as a spouse.

And Wilma could say the same about her family. And in it all, God was leading in it, even though we didn't know it. Bible says, "God's ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts." And the important thing is just to have our faith in God and keep it at God and trust that He will provide. And it's an interesting journey, and whether we don't know what life will bring. And most people don't go through the things we have had in life.

I was older the first time when I married Deb with three children, and so that was unusual. And now here today, we're marrying Wilma with six children, so. And that all is part of our life story. And that chapter of our lives, in a way, is being closed, but the book is not being closed now.

And I don't want us to forget the past, and we can remember it and freely talk about it. I want each one to feel about it somehow that we can't talk about our past. But I want our families and our children, everyone, to remember our past and your parents, your sisters, brothers, whoever it may have been.

And. 136. Some verses 1 and 2.

Father, in Thy mysterious presence nearly, Thank would our souls fill all Thy giving love. For we are weak and heeds some need grieving of trust and strength and calmness from above.

Lord, we have wandered forth through doubt and sorrow, and Thou hast made each step an onward walk; and we will ever trust each unknown morrow. Thou will sustain us till its work is done.

Now, Father, now in Thy dear presence nearly, our spirits yearn to feel Thy giving love. Now make us strong. We need Thy deep revealing of trust and strength and calmness from above.

Well, good morning, everyone. It's good to see you all here. It's not too big of a crowd this morning, but it's enjoyable to be with you all.

I was told this needs to be fairly short, so we'll see what happens. I'm not long-winded, but I will share what I have prepared.

It's a little difficult in my position right now to idealize a marital projection between two people who have already been there and done that more years than what I have. So in normal weddings with young people, you have all this advice to give them. Well, I don't know. I should probably be receiving advice, but I'll share what I've been thinking about. And first, I'll do a little reflection, and you have to forgive me if I reflect a little more on Mom than on Harlan because I have more of a range of relationship and experience with her. But I know Harlan's a farmer. I know that he's not a noisy, boisterous person. And I know that cows respond well to or I doubt that cows would respond well to noise and quick movements.

And so I would say his steady, quiet ways probably have been profitable for him as a farmer. And I know he loves his family. I can see that. And from what I know of families and family life, families also respond well to steady, thoughtful interaction.

The rest of what I know about Harlan is mostly conjecture or hearsay. My mom told me that outside of a crowd setting, he has plenty to say. So that's good because Mom's a talker, so he'll be able to keep off his end. But being somewhat quiet and reserved does not mean that he doesn't have strength of character. It usually means that when he does say something, it carries more weight.

So I've often noticed that. For my mom's character, I can tell you she's a career woman. She could have chosen many careers. She was a straight-A student, but finally, at the latter end of her teens, she narrowed it down to be a wife and mother. And you may remember that I was born on her 20th birthday.

What she may not have realized was that in choosing to be a wife, her career opportunities and responsibilities multiplied exponentially. In choosing to be my father's wife, she also chose housekeeping, hospitality, and hostessing. She chose to be a chef. She chose to support a pastor and be involved in pastoral care, which are two different things. She chose mothering.

She chose fostering and baby care, home health, nursing, and preschool care. She chose to be a grade school teacher and a high school teacher and a special ed teacher. I was a special ed student.

She might not have told you this, but I needed hours of pastoral care to combine a few sentences into story form. In fact, I made a decision whenever I was young that I would never become a Christian simply because it was not possible for me to say anything in front of anybody.

All my siblings went on to be linguists and teachers and nurses, but not me. Public silence was my best friend. And I don't know how she did it all, but I stand here as a product of Mom and Dad, of course.

And I thought a lot about what makes a marriage work. I'm sure you've heard countless of marriage sermons full of platitudes for the husband and wife, and some of them, a lot of them have some truth in them, even if they're worn out. But I won't bore you with them. I would liken marriage to going on a mission field.

Missions, by their very nature, are cultural collision fields. There are the different staff from different family cultures all coming to live in some level of community, generally in much closer community than where they came from. And then there's the culture of the new country or the setting you're living in with a foreign people group.

It's much the same with blending families. Every family has a culture. When two families come together in marriage, there's a cultural collision. It's not necessarily a negative thing, but it does necessitate give and take for both families and specifically the marriage partners who are living in much closer community.

So I have here just a few points that I called them the ABCs of marriage. You might say the ABCs of communication or relationships as well. I'm not married as long as many of you, so take it or leave it. But it's what I have found to be true. The A in the ABCs of marriage is appeal.

You might think, oh, looks or physical appearance. Nothing could be farther from the truth. It's an active verb. It's not a state of being. It has to do with our speech. Does your speech push people away, or does it draw them in? In James 3, you remember that famous passage. The Bible reads that our tongue is the most powerful member of our body. And Proverbs 15, verse 4 says, "The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit."

So appeal is about speech. It's about the tone of voice and the choice of words that we use. Again, in Proverbs 15, verse 1, it says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Have you ever had a conversation with someone, and you came away feeling nicely berated? The tone of voice may have been perfect, smooth, and even, but the choice of words were stinging.

A gentle answer is clean the whole way through. It has no hypocrisy. So it's about the tone of voice. It's about our speech, and it's also about our attitude.

Proverbs 17, verse 9 says, "Whoever would foster love covers an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." So are you appealing? How do you appeal to other people, or do you push them away? And that's the A in the ABCs. Number two is bless.

B for bless. Our goal in any relationship should be to bless the other person. If we focus on what we get out of it, we will stifle positive feelings and goodwill. In a business setting, we're very careful that our investment is less than our return. We need to get more out of it than what we put in it, or we'll be out in the street begging.

But the Christian marriage is a part of the upside-down kingdom. You might say, "We have to invest everything, or you will receive nothing." Do you ever see someone who treats the marriage like a business relationship? They usually end up in failure. But in a Christian marriage, we realize that we need to invest everything regardless of what is returned.

In a marriage where both partners are Christian, we would certainly hope to see a return in this life. But if we do not see a return in this life, we have the hope of receiving it in the next. So regardless of the immediate return, our goal in marriage is to bless the other person. Think about these verses from Romans chapter 12. You might not recognize them as verses for marriage, but the way we relate to the world around us in general is the way we will relate in our marriage. I think the level and depth in our marriage is directly related to our personal character. Romans 12, I'll read that verses 9 through 16. And this is the New King James version.

Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate one to another and with brotherly love. In honor, giving preference to one another. Not lagging in diligence. Fervent in spirit. Serving the Lord. Rejoicing in hope. Patient in tribulation.

Continuing steadfastly in prayer. Distributing to the needs of the saints and given to hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

So that takes me to the last one to see.

Do not be wise in your own opinion. Consider. See for consider. Stop. When you consider something, it takes a bit of evaluation or reflection. Depending on the situation, you may be able to make a very quick response, but the deeper, more personal things take time. If you do not stop to think, you will likely have regrets.

So you stop, and then the next word I have is mentalize. Maybe that's a new word for you, but in my work at the wilderness camp, we came across this where people are taught to mentalize. We do it naturally, but they have a word for it. Mentalizing is when you're able to imagine what others around you are thinking or feeling.

What is the other person's culture? What do I know about their family? What is their frame of reference? How would they interpret the same facts that you are looking at? So those questions you have to think about when you stop and consider. And then the third step is to respond. After you have stopped and mentalized, then you need to respond. In fact, I think it's impossible not to respond.

Any attempt at no response will be interpreted as negative. So use the best information you have and the resources that you have and appropriate the best response in the given situation. And I will almost guarantee you if you've stopped and thought about it and mentalized, as we said, your response will probably be acceptable.

So appeal, bless, and consider. And I think that's a successful success for a successful marriage. I have a little story for you yet. You may have heard of it, especially if you have children. It's called The Dream. And I think you'll see why it goes along with what we were talking about. It's about two friends, and the one was a toad and the other one was a frog.

Toad was asleep, and he was having a dream. He was on stage, and he was wearing a costume. Toad looked out into the dark. Frog was sitting in the theater. A strange voice from far away said, "Presenting the greatest toad in all the world." Toad took a deep bow.

Frog looked smaller as he shouted, "Hooray for Toad."

Toad will now play the piano very well, said the strange voice. Toad played the piano very well, and he did not miss a note. Frog cried, "Toad, can you play the piano like this?" "No," said Frog. It seemed to Toad that Frog looked a little smaller.

Toad will now walk on the high wire, and he will not fall down, said the voice. Toad walked on the high wire. Frog cried, "Toad, can you do tricks like this?" "No," peeped Frog, who looked very, very small.

Toad will now dance and be wonderful, said the voice. Frog, can you be as wonderful as this? As Toad danced all over the stage, there was not an answer.

Frog looked out in the theater. Frog was so small that he could not be seen or heard. Frog cried, "Toad, where are you?"

Still no answer. Frog, what have I done? cried Toad.

Then the voice shouted, "The greatest toad will now shut up," screamed Frog. I mean, screamed Toad. Frog, Frog, where have you gone? Toad was spinning in the dark. "Come back, Frog," he cried. "I will be lonely." "I'm right here," said Frog.

Frog was standing near Toad's bed. "Wake up, Toad," he said. "Frog, is that really you?" Toad said. "Of course it's me," said Frog. "And are you your own right size?" "Yes, I think so," said Frog. Toad looked at the sunshine coming through the window. Frog, he said, "I'm so glad you came over." "I always do," said Frog.

Then Frog and Toad ate a big breakfast, and after that, they spent a fine long day together. So what we say and do and think have a direct effect on other people. Thank you for listening.

Well, good morning as well. That was very good. Thank you, Craig.

Thank you, Brother Harlan, for sharing what you shared this morning. I was thinking there as Harlan was sharing the devotional, there's something that really stood out to me. And this stood out earlier when we met this morning when I asked if they had peace and joy about all of this or how this is.

And they both expressed that peace and joy. And I'm thinking, you know, when we think of the past, and Harlan brought that out with the disappointment, the pain, the grief, the loss that they both experienced in life. So many times when we meet people with a bitter past or a painful past, they would say, "Oh, I don't want to talk about it. Let's just leave that in the past."

And I heard Harlan say this morning, "We don't want to do that. We want to keep that open." And that is very telling. When we can do that with our past and the pain and the hurt, that tells us that we have completely accepted God's perfect plan, and we are okay with that. We find peace, and we find joy and acceptance because the Bible tells us that God does all things beautiful in His time. And the all things are the painful things as well. And so if we learn to go through life that way, and I want to leave this for the family. God bless you as you accept this new chapter, we would say.

But let's keep in mind what Harlan directed us to this morning is remember the past and remember that God does all things beautiful. And when we take His way and we do things God's way, we can express joy and peace even in the midst of hurtful and painful times in life. That is the great God we serve. So let's continue to look to Him, to trust Him. And when we say these, when we commit to these vows, it's huge. We don't know exactly. We just don't know, do we, the future. But it's big, and God honors these vows, these commitments. He will honor them. And if we learn and continue to trust, His way is best.

So with that, I want to say congratulations. The time has come, and we're going to ask the couple to come forward along with the witnesses for the vows.

All right. First question is for both of you, Harlan and Wilma. Do you believe that matrimony is an ordinance instituted of God and confirmed and sanctioned by Jesus Christ, and that you must enter upon it in the fear of God? I do.

I do. All right. Harlan, this is for you. Do you confess and declare that you are unmarried and free from all other marriage relations and engagements whatsoever? I am. Wilma, do you confess and declare that you are unmarried and free from all other marriage relations and engagements whatsoever? I am.

Harlan, will you, in the presence of God and these witnesses, take Wilma to be your wedded wife? Will you love and cherish her, provide and care for her in health and sickness and prosperity and adversity, exercise patience, kindness, forbearance toward her, and live with her in peace as becometh a faithful Christian husband, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live? I will.

Wilma, will you, in the presence of God and these witnesses, take Harlan to be your wedded husband? Will you love and cherish him in health and in sickness, in prosperity and adversity, share with him the joys and sorrows of life, exercise patience, kindness, and forbearance toward him, and live with him in peace as becometh a faithful Christian wife, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him as long as you both shall live? I will.

All right. You may now join your right hands.

May the God of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ be with you and bless this union abundantly through Christ our Redeemer. What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Go forth as husband and wife. Live in peace. Fear God and keep His commandments.

Amen.

All right. We're going to kneel together for prayer, and the congregation may stand.

Dear God, we thank You for this special moment.

Lord, we thank You for Your presence here this morning, and we thank You for Your leading in this, and we can trust all Your doings, Lord, whatever the future holds. Lord, we just pray that You would unite their hearts as we went through the vows, and they made those verbal commitments before You, before these witnesses. We pray now that their hearts would blend together, and they would become one flesh according to Your word. Lord, we just pray a blessing on their life, their coming days, months, and as the adjustments are here, I'm sure, and we pray for the families.

Lord, we pray a blessing on them as they adjust to this new step in life. Lord, just give them grace, give them what they need, Lord, to accept and to bless this union. And Lord, we pray that as this couple interacts in the community, Lord, that they would be as their hearts desire is to be a blessing to the community, to the church, to their families. Lord, just give them that ability and strength and vision. We pray. Just bless them from here in Jesus' name. Amen.

We thank Thee, Lord, without before Thy sacred throne. You praised it for Thy love so kind and true.

O Lord, answer our prayer when we call. Come, be Thy answer seeked. With courage to inspire our souls. Although we must walk through trial, Thy help will protect us in Thy right and will guide us.

O eternal Lord, intervene in our behalf. Thy great goodness never fails. We thank Thee, Lord. We thank Thee for Thy sacred throne. To praise Thee for Thy love so true.

We thank Thee, Lord.

All right. The congregation may be seated. And it is my pleasure to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Harlan Heggey. God bless you. 1011.

Number 1011.

Sing now the praises of our God, the Savior. Hallelujah. Save thee every sounding it grateful chorus as we praise the Lord most high. May all nature join in glorious song as the Lord bursts forth in splendor, singing of a hallelujah, singing of a hallelujah.

Love and seek where the glory of our great and mighty God shines. The stars upon His greatness as they shine in the skies above. Sing we now the praises of our God. Let us sing Thee hallelujah. Make thee every sounding it grateful chorus as we praise the Lord most high.

May all nature join in glorious song as the Lord bursts forth in splendor, singing of a hallelujah, singing of a hallelujah.

The rocks and hills will cry out in His praise as we will of love sing unseen. So rejoice, sing, God, our Maker. He deserves the praises of every living thing. Sing we now the praises of our God. Let us sing Thee hallelujah. Make thee every sounding it grateful chorus as we praise the Lord most high.

May all nature join in glorious song as the Lord bursts forth in splendor, singing of a hallelujah, singing of a hallelujah.

All right. Well, I'll be the Smith. I'll be on the seating line at the back. We'll just start from two front benches, and then you can file out from the front to the back. Just follow each other out. Once you're through the receiving line, you can make your way downstairs to the reception. There's no assigned seating, so just find a spot, and yeah, you can head down there immediately after meeting Harlan and Wilma.

All right. We start here with.