Discussion Jumpstarter
Study leader reference - not a definitive answer
Question 7
Sahir described nine years of running that included addiction, yet also “almost daily prayers,” even praying in the casino, “Please, Lord, don’t be with me”—what does this say about the reality of conviction, and how does it challenge modern assumptions about assurance, conversion timing, and who counts as “seeking”?
Another way to ask: Sahir ran from God for years with addiction, yet prayed almost every day—even in a casino. What does this say about guilt and conviction, and how does it challenge our ideas about when someone is “really” converted or “really” seeking God?
Discussion Jumpstarter
Direct Answer
The transcript presents conviction as real and ongoing even before clear conversion: Sahir resisted while still praying and feeling pulled toward God, suggesting that “seeking” can be messy, prolonged, and mixed with serious sin.
- He says after the first conference “the message has followed me a lot every day almost.”
- During years of addiction he describes inner conflict: “sadness inside me to resist the love of Christ.”
- He admits patterns of sin: “addicted to alcohol… drank every day… gambled a lot of money… drugs… cigarettes.”
- Yet he says he had “Almost daily prayers to the Lord” even without being “born again.”
- He gives the striking casino prayer: “please, Lord, don't be with me,” showing awareness of God even while choosing sin.
- He explains he wanted the kingdom but didn’t “make it… in these nine years,” citing “disappointment and lack of communities and true discipleships.”