Epistle to the Romans (Long Version)

THROUGH PRAYER TO GOD: I have received the privilege of seeing your most worthy faces, just as I earnestly begged might be granted to me; for as a prisoner in Christ Jesus, I hope to greet you, if indeed it is the will [of God] that I be considered worthy of reaching the end. For the beginning has been well ordered, if I may obtain grace to cling to my path without hindrance to the end. For I am afraid of your love, lest it should cause me harm. For it is easy for you to accomplish what you please; but it is difficult for me to attain to God, if you do not spare me, under the pretense of carnal affection.

FOR IT IS NOT MY DESIRE THAT YOU SHOULD PLEASE MEN: but God, just as you already do please Him. For I will never again have such an opportunity to attain to God; nor will you, if you are now silent, ever be entitled to the honor of a better work. For if you are silent concerning me, I shall become God’s; but if you show your love to my flesh, I shall have to run my race again. Pray, then, do not seek to grant me any greater favor than that I be sacrificed to God, while the altar is still prepared; that, being gathered together in love, you may sing praise to the Father, through Christ Jesus, that God has deemed me, the bishop of Syria, worthy to be sent from the east to the west, and to become a martyr for His own precious sufferings, so as to pass from the world to God, that I may rise again unto Him.

You have never envied anyone; you have taught others. Now I desire that those things may be confirmed by your conduct, which in your instructions you enjoin on others. Only request on my behalf both inner and outer strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will, so that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really found to be one. For if I am truly found a Christian, I may also be called one, and be deemed faithful, when I shall no longer appear to the world. Nothing visible is eternal. "For the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." The Christian is not the result of persuasion, but of power. When he is hated by the world, he is loved by God. For says the Scripture, "If you were of this world, the world would love its own; but now you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it: continue in fellowship with me."

I WRITE TO ALL THE CHURCHES AND IMPRESS UPON THEM ALL THAT I SHALL WILLINGLY DIE FOR GOD: unless you hinder me. I beseech you not to show untimely goodwill towards me. Allow me to become food for the wild beasts, through whom it will be granted to me to reach God. I am the wheat of God and am ground by the teeth of the wild beasts so that I may be found the pure bread of God. Rather, encourage the wild beasts that they may become my tomb and leave nothing of my body, so that when I have fallen asleep [in death], I may not be a burden to anyone. Then I shall be a true disciple of Jesus Christ, when the world shall not see even my body. Pray to the Lord for me, that through these means I may be found a sacrifice to God. I do not, as Peter and Paul, issue commands to you. They were apostles of Jesus Christ, but I am the very least [of believers]: they were free as the servants of God, while I am, even until now, a servant. But when I suffer, I shall be the freed-man of Jesus Christ and shall rise again emancipated in Him. And now, being in bonds for Him, I learn not to desire anything worldly or vain.

FROM SYRIA ALL THE WAY TO ROME: I face beasts on both land and sea, both day and night, while being bound to ten leopards, meaning a group of soldiers who, even when they receive benefits, become worse. But I am further instructed by their injuries to act as a disciple of Christ, yet I am not justified by this. May I face the wild beasts that are ready for me, and I pray they are eager to rush upon me, which I will also entice to devour me quickly, and not treat me as they do others, whom they have not touched out of fear. But if they are unwilling to attack me, I will compel them to do so. Pardon me for this—I know what benefits me. Now I begin to be a disciple and have no desire for anything visible or invisible, so I may reach Jesus Christ. Let fire and the cross, let crowds of wild beasts, let breakings, tearing, and separation of bones, let cutting off of limbs, let bruising of the whole body, and let the torment of the devil come upon me—only let me attain Jesus Christ.

ALL THE ENDS OF THE WORLD AND ALL THE KINGDOMS OF THIS EARTH WILL PROFIT ME NOTHING: It is better for me to die for the sake of Jesus Christ than to reign over all the ends of the earth. "For what does a man gain if he wins the whole world but loses his own soul?" I long for the Lord, the Son of the true God and Father, even Jesus Christ. I seek Him, who died for us and rose again. Pardon me, brothers: do not hinder me from attaining life, for Jesus is the life of believers. Do not wish to keep me in a state of death, for life without Christ is death. While I desire to belong to God, do not give me over to the world. Allow me to obtain pure light: when I have gone there, I shall truly be a man of God. Permit me to be an imitator of the passion of Christ, my God. If anyone has Him within themselves, let them consider what I desire, and let them have sympathy with me, knowing how I am constrained.

THE RULER OF THIS WORLD WOULD GLADLY CARRY ME AWAY AND CORRUPT MY ATTITUDE TOWARDS GOD: Therefore, let none of you who are in Rome assist him; instead, be on my side, which is on the side of God. Do not speak of Jesus Christ and yet prefer this world to Him. Let not envy find a home among you; and even if I, when present with you, encourage it, do not be persuaded, but rather trust in what I now write to you. For although I am alive while I write to you, I am eager to die for the sake of Christ. My love has been crucified, and there is no fire in me for anything else; instead, there is living water springing up in me, speaking to me inwardly, urging me to come to the Father. I have no delight in perishable food or in the pleasures of this life. I desire the bread of God, the heavenly bread, the bread of life, which is the flesh of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who later came from the line of David and Abraham; and I desire the drink, namely His blood, which is incorruptible love and eternal life.

I NO LONGER WISH TO LIVE LIKE MEN DO: and my desire will be fulfilled if you consent. “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet no longer I, since Christ lives in me.” I ask you in this brief letter: do not refuse me; believe me that I love Jesus, who was delivered to death for my sake. “What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits towards me?” Now God, even the Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ, will reveal these things to you, so that you will know that I speak truly. And please pray along with me, that I may achieve my aim in the Holy Spirit. I have not written to you according to the flesh, but according to the will of God. If I shall suffer, you have loved me; but if I am rejected, you have hated me.

REMEMBER IN YOUR PRAYERS THE CHURCH IN SYRIA: which now has the Lord as its shepherd instead of me, who says, "I am the good Shepherd." He alone will oversee it, as well as your love for Him. But as for me, I am ashamed to be counted among them; for I am not worthy, being the very last of them, and one born out of due time. But I have obtained mercy to be somebody if I shall attain to God. My spirit greets you, along with the love of the Churches that have received me in the name of Jesus Christ, and not merely as a passer-by. For even those Churches that were not near to me on the way have supported me, city by city.