My family has been Methodist for many generations. I first grew to know of the faith moving around to differing UMC churches in the South as my father attended seminary and moved to bigger and bigger churches. I lead the youth group myself as I matured. I drifted away from the church as they all continually cheered for wars I wanted no part in—they seemed little to do with even self defense.
I read the Bible and tried to advocate for peace thru it, but eventually sought other means, finding little support from those I knew among the larger faiths and faithless in the South. I continued to lead groups opposed to torture while attending university. I jumped at the chance to move to DC and joined the protest movement. Many years passed, I saw more of the country and attained a few too many degrees for my own good.
I began to feel that politics, beyond the very local, was a waste of time and energy. Denominations became mostly Democrat or Republican and the party led the church and not the other way around! Most people just do not care about anything but bread and circuses and their passions! I saw that the sin of the world was real and had real consequences as I worked with troubled youth.
Around 2015 I attended the UMC church a few blocks from my home where the Idaho and Oregon bishop’s seat was located, times had changed, only to find new problems (or at least new to me)! That next year was the annual conference in the same city. After my first visit I realized the teachings were not what they should be, but also that I did not know enough to rebuke them with full force. Also I knew to rebuke them would change little in that city.
Even the more conservative UMC fellowships were mostly only politically conservative if they had any sense of Wesley’s teaching. I fled, and many followed a few years later. The resources for personal research (and deception) on the internet had grown to the point where I started to realize how much the faith had altered. I kept finding that any position I began to take would soon be superseded by a superior one!
For some reason, as in studying war and torture, I have a keen ability to filter out falsehoods sooner than many others and find and know those who are my better and avoid the worse. I only wanted to be a part of a fellowship, but since that time I have peeled back the layers of the onion (myself included) starting with the most recent and going back in time further and further. Attending but never joining various types of churches, and most all the “peace churches”.
I sought this mostly for myself, as how could I choose a new church or spread the truth when I did not know it and was always finding those in a position of authority did not know the truth either, or at least did nothing! I almost always enjoyed the people I visited with and was usually sorry to leave if I found a major error in their teaching or modern practice during study (although most I visited only once).
Wesley and his group were once plain clothes, who preached to sinners, and then had a method of discipleship and association that proved effective. They seemed most similar to todays anabaptists. Moving further back I struggled with the reformers’ ideas. Moving further I struggled with the division of East and West. Eventually, in addition to scripture reading, I read most everything from the first century, and much if not all of the Ante-Nicene…and found a few favorites from later times.
After all these years I discovered Bercot around three weeks ago, and having been on a similar journey found I concurred on most things. However, his organization skills and other methodologies are superior. He has also studied many subjects I have not. I pray we are blessed thru his work, and the others teachers here.
Knowledge does not always lead to salvation, yet I must first struggle thru the ideas, approach and spirit of his discoveries, but can affirm based on my studies to this point that his positions are at the very least far superior to 99% of the other rabbit holes that will slow ones progress to a better understanding of the ancient faith. My wife and I were married early this year, and God willing, will be blessed with our first baby around new years!
She is in her final few steps towards becoming a midwife, and is studying along with me here as she has time.