Jumpstarter 6 of 10

Ideas to help restart your discussion

Question 6

Bercot’s mirror story (smiling that looks like frowning) highlights how encouragement can require conscious effort rather than natural temperament; where do you tend to excuse yourself from encouragement because “that’s not my personality,” and what would it look like to treat outward warmth as an act of love rather than self-expression?

Another way to ask: When do you use “that’s not my personality” as a reason not to encourage others? What would it look like to show warmth as an act of love, even if it doesn’t feel natural?

Direct Answer The transcript suggests we shouldn’t excuse a lack of outward warmth by blaming temperament, because encouragement is something we can choose and practice for others’ good. Treating warmth as an act of love would mean making deliberate efforts—like Bercot’s intentional “animated look”—so others clearly receive encouragement.

Support from Transcript:

He admits, “I’m one of those persons who literally has to consciously work on having a smile on my face. A smile is not something that comes natural for me.”
His story shows miscommunication: when he felt happy with a “big smile,” a woman asked, “Is it that bad?” because it looked like a frown.
He recommends checking in a mirror: “see how you look… Can other people tell that you’re smiling?”
He says if you have his problem, you can’t help your design, “but you can work on having a smile… make a conscious effort… have a big smile… eyes brighten up.”
He frames it as love for others: “I want people to know that I’m smiling at them because I know that’s encouraging.”
He stresses it costs no extra time: “it doesn’t take a single minute of extra time.”

Discussion Follow-ups What “small” outward actions (facial expression, tone, greeting) might you need to practice so that your love is readable to others?

Jumpstarter 6 of 10

Add your phone number?

Thank you!

Jumpstarter 6 of 10