Discussion Jumpstarter
Study leader reference - not a definitive answer
Question 5
The speaker warns about “a situational crush” (mission trips, romantic settings, being in another culture) and gives the test of imagining the person in your hometown; what hidden motives or fantasies does this expose in the way Christians sometimes pursue “missions romance,” and how can a group help each other discern that honestly?
Another way to ask: What selfish hopes or fantasies can hide behind a “crush” on a mission trip or in a new culture? How can a group help someone test their motives honestly (like picturing the person back in normal life)?
Discussion Jumpstarter
Direct Answer
The speaker suggests “missions romance” can confuse excitement about a place, culture, or adventure with true love and long-term compatibility. A group can help by asking sober questions—like his “hometown test”—so feelings don’t override clear judgment.
- He warns: “beware of a situational crush,” especially when you “meet someone in another country.”
- He explains the dynamic: “since you're having a great time, your judgment can be obscured.”
- He describes romanticizing: “you fall in love with a culture and the people…[and] equates that with love.”
- His test: consider “if you would take that person back to your hometown…would it still be exciting…worth it?”
- He illustrates the romance of the setting: thatched roof, river, boat rides, “alligators,” “wildlife,” “jungle type of thing…pretty romantic.”
- He clarifies he’s not against cross-cultural marriage, but against illusion-driven pursuit.