Discussion Questions

The speaker contrasts a “moralist view” (Bible as a list of do’s and don’ts) with a “covenantal view” (Israel “trashed the covenant” God made to bless the world); when you read Paul’s commands in Ephesians 4:31–5:2, what covenant purpose do those commands serve beyond “staying out of trouble”? JumpstartAnother way to ask: When you read Paul’s commands in Ephesians 4:31–5:2, how do they help God keep His promise to bless the world, not just help you “stay out of trouble”?

Using the forest/trees and Taj Mahal/building blocks illustrations, the speaker warns that focusing only on “trees” makes obedience miserable; what “forest” does Paul connect to kindness and forgiveness in this passage, and how does that big picture change your motivation for specific daily obedience? JumpstartAnother way to ask: In this passage, what bigger story (“the forest”) does Paul connect to being kind and forgiving, and how does that big picture change why you obey each day?

The speaker says every “don’t” is meant to turn us toward a “do,” like Tutul moving from red flags to the green flag; in Ephesians 4:31–32, what exact “do” replaces bitterness/wrath/clamor, and what practical steps would it take to pursue that “green flag” in a current relationship conflict? JumpstartAnother way to ask: In Ephesians 4:31–32, what “do” should replace bitterness and anger, and what steps could you take to do that in a relationship conflict you have right now?

Paul’s “therefore” links “forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” to “be imitators of God as dear children”; what does this teach about what God is like (kind, tenderhearted, forgiving), and what parts of God’s character are hardest for you to actually believe when you’re the one who has been wronged? JumpstartAnother way to ask: What do these verses show about what God is like, and which part of His kindness and forgiveness is hardest for you to believe when someone has hurt you?

The speaker claims God’s goal from Genesis (“image of God,” “fruitful and multiply”) is a world filled with “loving children who were obedient and chose to be like Him,” and that Jesus came to restore that project “here,” not to scrap it; how would early Christians—praying “Your kingdom come… on earth”—have understood their everyday forgiveness and love as participation in that restoration? JumpstartAnother way to ask: If early Christians prayed “Your kingdom come… on earth,” how would they see everyday love and forgiveness as helping God restore what He started in Genesis?

John Chrysostom is quoted saying forgiveness is “the foundation of everything” and that forgiving makes you “imitating God… made like God”; what would it do to your view of spiritual maturity if forgiving offenders became the central measure of “being like God” rather than knowledge, gifting, or church involvement? JumpstartAnother way to ask: How would your idea of spiritual maturity change if forgiving people who hurt you was the main test of “being like God,” more than knowledge, gifts, or church activity?

The speaker rejects two “ditches”: (a) obedience without admiration (the “miserable life” cartoon), and (b) admiration without obedience (the “pig wallowing in the mire” image); where do you see your own drift toward one ditch, and what would it look like to move toward the “third way” he describes—“earnestly… put their lives into becoming like him”? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Do you lean more toward obeying without loving God, or loving the idea of God without obeying, and what would it look like for you to choose the “third way” of truly becoming like Him?

He challenges the modern slogan (via the Casting Crowns lyric) “I’m trying so hard to stop trying so hard,” calling it “a lie from Satan,” and insists Scripture calls for chosen acts of obedience; what assumptions about grace, effort, and “letting God do it” are being confronted here, and how do you evaluate them in light of Paul’s commands to “put away,” “be kind,” “forgive,” and “walk in love”? JumpstartAnother way to ask: What ideas about grace and effort are being challenged when the speaker says we must choose obedience, and how do you judge that based on Paul’s commands to put things away, be kind, forgive, and walk in love?

The speaker argues there is no neutral ground: if you don’t imitate God, you imitate “your father the devil” (John 8; 1 John 3), and he frames it as “Who do I admire? Whose way am I following?”—what concrete patterns in speech, anger, or relational habits reveal who you’re imitating, and what would repentance look like in those specific patterns? JumpstartAnother way to ask: What habits in your words, anger, or relationships show who you are copying, and what would it look like to repent in those exact habits?

In explaining “walk in love,” he defines love by what it does—“gave himself,” “offering,” “sacrifice”—and uses David refusing to offer what costs nothing; what would a costly “offering” or “sacrifice” look like in your life this month (time, reputation, comfort, money, absorbing wrong), and how does the promise that such love is a “sweet-smelling aroma” to God reshape your willingness to pay that cost? JumpstartAnother way to ask: What would a real “costly” act of love look like for you this month, and how does knowing it pleases God help you be willing to pay that cost?