Discussion Jumpstarter
Study leader reference - not a definitive answer
Question 1
The speaker says, “the health of every church can be measured by the conversations you’re not having and the conversations you’re having poorly”; what specific conversations does your congregation avoid (or handle badly), and what do those silences reveal about what you most fear losing?
Another way to ask: What topics does your church avoid talking about, or talk about badly? What do those silences show you’re most afraid of losing?
Discussion Jumpstarter
Direct Answer
Based on the speaker’s teaching, churches often avoid (or mishandle) conversations that feel costly—money, unity amid differences, leadership inconsistencies, and real sacrifice—and those silences usually reveal a fear of losing comfort, control, reputation, or stability.
- He repeats his metric: church health is measured by “the conversations you’re not having and the conversations you’re having poorly,” comparing it to marriage: “What aren’t you talking about…usually that is our issue.”
- He says business/financial health is “often avoided or discussed poorly,” then immediately raises uncomfortable questions about wealthy business owners and “disproportionate influence” in the brotherhood.
- He presses financial transparency: “Do you know your brotherhood’s debt ratio?” and says, “We’ve gotten away from that one.”
- He asks if a church can function “and not discuss its differences,” describing how diversity requires intentional, gracious story-hearing.
- He highlights youth’s question about leadership inconsistency: “How come our leaders can argue and fight, but when we do it, it’s sin?”