Discussion Questions

The speaker says, “growth changes things,” even though he “can’t find any good verses” about it—how does that claim fit with what Scripture *does* emphasize about God’s intentions for fruitfulness, maturity, and multiplication, and what does it suggest about how God normally shapes His people? JumpstartAnother way to ask: The speaker says growth always brings change, even if he can’t point to a clear verse. How does the Bible still support God’s plan for fruitfulness and maturity, and what does that show about how God usually forms His people?

The speaker argues that “one of the fundamental metrics of growth is change,” and that we often say we want growth while complaining about change—where do you see that contradiction in your own discipleship or church life, and what specific changes have you quietly treated as “bad” even while praying for growth? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Where do you say you want spiritual growth but get upset when things change? What changes have you secretly labeled “bad” while still praying for growth?

Using the family illustration, the speaker says growth can bring “embittered” parents, “frustrated” mothers and fathers, and “all kinds of demons…all because of growth”—what does that reveal about the human heart under pressure, and how should Christians respond when growth exposes sin rather than producing the “beautiful” picture we expected? JumpstartAnother way to ask: The speaker says growth can bring out anger, frustration, and sin in families. What does that show about our hearts under pressure, and how should Christians respond when growth exposes sin instead of looking “beautiful”?

When children grow up and marry, the speaker warns that fathers may become “domineering or micromanaging” and mothers may “resort to manipulation”—what are the church equivalents of those same control-patterns when new people, new leaders, or “in-laws” (new families/backgrounds) enter the congregation? JumpstartAnother way to ask: He warns that parents may try to control their grown kids through micromanaging or manipulation. What are the church versions of those control habits when new people, new leaders, or people from different backgrounds join?

The speaker frames new families and backgrounds as an “asset, not a liability,” and even says, “it’s what God wants us to do”—what would it actually cost your church (socially, culturally, stylistically, relationally) to treat “different backgrounds” as an asset, and what hidden preferences would get threatened? JumpstartAnother way to ask: If your church treated different backgrounds as a strength, what would it cost in culture, style, and relationships? Which hidden preferences in your church would feel threatened?

The speaker claims growth “exposes how we’re truly getting along,” and later says the next generation often leaves because of “people fighting or not getting along”—what conflicts or relational fractures become visible only once a church starts growing, and how should a community handle them without halting growth or pretending the problems don’t exist? JumpstartAnother way to ask: What problems between people only show up once a church starts growing? How can the church face those conflicts honestly without stopping growth or pretending everything is fine?

He challenges stagnant churches by asking whether staying “the same three families for…20 years” is healthy, and ties lack of growth to young people not seeing a future—how would early Christians (who expected expansion, persecution, and mission) have heard that concern about “future,” and what kind of “future” should a church be offering that isn’t just opportunities, spouses, or programs? JumpstartAnother way to ask: If a church stays the same small group for decades, what “future” is it really offering young people? What kind of future should a church offer that’s bigger than programs, dating, or positions?

The speaker quotes: “The person who is in love with their vision of community will destroy community,” applying it to fathers and church leaders who sacrifice people for an ideal—where have you seen “vision” become self-centered in subtle religious ways, and how can a church test whether it loves its vision more than the actual people God has placed in front of it? JumpstartAnother way to ask: Where have you seen church “vision” become more about someone’s ego than loving people? How can a church check whether it loves its big idea more than the actual people God has given it?

In the ministry example, David’s comment—“if…when I die, it dies with me…that’s what he doesn’t want”—is presented as a healthy attitude toward growth; what does that expose about leadership that hoards responsibility or platform, and what concrete steps would it take to build something that outlives one gifted person? JumpstartAnother way to ask: David says a ministry shouldn’t die when its leader dies. What does that show about leaders who hold too much power or attention, and what steps help build something that lasts beyond one gifted person?

The speaker expresses suspicion of “conferences…big groups…fellowship movements” and admires the Anabaptist “autonomy” model, while still insisting “we do need to be growing”—what does this tension reveal about God’s wisdom in shaping communities at different sizes, and how should a church discern when growth is faithful multiplication versus growth that produces fear, control, or loss of genuine community? JumpstartAnother way to ask: The speaker worries about big conferences and movements but still says churches should grow. How can a church tell the difference between healthy growth that multiplies and growth that leads to fear, control, or loss of real community?