Discussion Jumpstarter

Study leader reference - not a definitive answer

Question 3

The speaker highlights that Jesus “learned obedience by suffering,” including “strong crying and tears”; how should this shape a Christian parent’s expectations about the role of hardship, discomfort, and limits in forming obedience—especially in churches where “good parenting” is often equated with keeping kids happy and protected from pain?

Another way to ask: If Jesus learned obedience through suffering and tears, what should parents expect hardship and limits to do in a child’s growth? How does that push back on the idea that good parenting means keeping kids happy and pain-free?

Discussion Jumpstarter

Direct Answer
Based on the speaker’s teaching, obedience is often learned through hardship and limits, not through constant comfort. Christian parents should not be shocked when tears and discomfort accompany training, because even Jesus learned obedience “by the things which he suffered.”

Support from Transcript:

He says directly: “Jesus learned obedience by suffering…There’s something about suffering as it relates to how we learn obedience.”
He quotes Hebrews-style language: Jesus offered “prayers and supplications with strong cryings and tears.”
He emphasizes Jesus’ real emotions: “Jesus wasn’t an emotional person. He had feelings…He felt like crying sometimes.”
He later ties discipline to purposeful limits, not random pain: children need a “no” in them; his mule needed a “whoa” to be safe and useful.
His discipline principle aims at fruit: after correction, look for changed behavior and “reconciliation…when it’s over.”
He warns against wrath: “If our spirit is out of control, stop,” distinguishing correction from uncontrolled anger.

Discussion Follow-ups How do we tell the difference between necessary hardship and parents using “hardship” to excuse impatience? What limits in our homes are actually training children for the kingdom?

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